Goodbye Garcia and The Meaning of Love

Our beloved Garcia.

Garcia was our cat. He was put to sleep in our home at 11:00am on Wednesday, July 29, 2020. He was born on March 3, 2004. 

Our hearts felt like they were ripped out of our chest -- but we bore the pain gladly knowing that it was taking our beloved Garcia out of his pain. He had liver cancer and other complications.

I brought him home for the first time at the end of April 2004. I had grown up around dogs and had never owned a cat.

My only idea of a cat was the indoor/outdoor type who owners love at times but don’t really get  attached to.

I thought that’s what I was going to do. Get an indoor/outdoor cat. I was living on my own, single, in a basement apartment. The place had some mice and although small, it was otherwise clean and ok.

I thought “I’ll get a cat and it will take care of the mice. Plus, it’ll be some companionship with my single life.”

When I asked the landlord for permission and they said ok.

Garcia was a both hunter and lap cat.

My Life With Garcia Begins...

I went to the local petshop where it just so happened that someone had just donated a litter of kittens. 

There was one kitten in particular who seemed more adventurous and playful. He was beautiful warm smoky grey with a white face and belly plus a really cool and distinct marking on his back.

The pet shop owner told me that a few people were already interested in that particular kitten so if I wanted him, I’d better decide fast.

I knew the owner of the shop because it was next door to a music store where I happened to be the guitar teacher.

So he said he’d give me some time and hold off on selling the kitten to anyone else until I decided.

That night, I thought about it. During the night I had an extremely vivid dream that I’ve never forgotten.

This same cat was in my dream and we were walking together up one of the steep hills that populate my neighborhood.

In the morning I knew I had my answer. 

I went and paid for him. He was so young that he still needed a few more shots and I had to wait a few days before I could take him home with me.

Teaching Tricks to Garcia and Training Him

I brought him home and my life with Garcia started.

I got a few books on cats from the library and talked to the vet. I discovered that making him an indoor cat was in fact much more humane and would ultimately give him a higher quality of life.

I also found out how to care for him including teaching him a few simple tricks. Garcia’s favourite was “sit” and “paw” for a treat as well as fetching rolled up paper balls that I’d throw down the hallway.

I fell deeply in love with this cat!! I never saw that coming…

He healed me from a lot of stuff that had been heartbreaking and spirit crushing in my past.

And then the next thing I knew Mary exploded into my life just over a year later. I truly believe it’s in part due to Garcia healing my heart.

Mary also fell deeply in love with Garcia.

Oddly enough, Mary used to frequent the same neighborhood pet shop and was considering getting Garcia! And one of my students from the neighborhood remembered Garcia from the pet store as well. 

Garcia loved licking avocado!

The Meaning Of Love

Loving Garcia was and is a blessing. But that sounds like a meme that people “snack” on when they go to Facebook, doesn’t it? 

What’s the meaning of love? Materialistic reductionism (the prevailing mainstream worldview) would have us believe that it’s a trick of nature. An illusion created only in order to propogate the species. Love is not real according to this view.

I totally respect, appreciate and benefit from science. It has an important and major role in creating our society and civilization. Many people these days worship religiously at it’s altar. But it really does miss the totality of things in such an absurd way at times.

Love Is Not Necessary To Propogate The Species

As a matter of fact, there are many species in nature who propogate without love. And many that propogate without even requiring a partner!

It seems that the more complex an organism becomes, an interpenetration of the sexes is something that needs to occur.

And in humans this can manifest as love. Sexual love is the primordial prototype for all forms of love.

Great thinkers such as Plato, Pythagoras, Vladimir Solovyov (from the amazing Russian school of philosophy from late 19th/early 20th century) and others have elaborated on this idea much more — and I intend to write about it more here at another time.

The Point of Love and Jewish Mysticism

In Jewish mysticism there’s a teaching called the Kaballah. In Christian Hermeticism they’ve adopted some of these ideas and called it the Qabalah with a Q. That’s how I’ll spell it here.

That which has no beginning or end and just simply IS, is called “Ain Soph.” Which loosely means No-Thing.

But it IS. So it’s not the same as nothing in a nihilistic sense. It’s an empty fullness of all potentialities and even beyond that.

The human mind can NEVER wrap itself around such an abstract concept because it’s BEYOND the human mind.

It is That by which the human mind even exists at all.

Although this parallels many of the eastern religious philosophies that have become so popular here in the west over the last century, I’ve been moving “my ultimate faith” away from eastern thought  — although maintaining some of the techniques which I find useful for psycho-spiritual health.

I myself — because I couldn’t fully connect with the dualism of the traditional Christian church — went to eastern thought for over 2 decades. I studied it, lived it and breathed it. 

However, I realized that despite finding a certain freedom and inner peace beyond limitation, there was something missing with eastern approaches. At least for me. That something was and is my ultimate reality as an individual expression of the Divine. 

At least in my own experience, God is a living and Personal Being. Many mystics and saints over the centuries have also attempted to articulate this understanding.

To me, the perspectives from the east ultimately have a sense of nihilism about them. The individual is an illusion and simply dissolves in the Ocean of Oneness once their “karma” is fulfilled.

I say this with all respect if you happen to be reading this and you find peace and understanding in yoga or Buddhism, etc. Please accept my apologies. This is only what works for my personal understanding and realizations.

So here it is. My point…

As Above, So Below

Yes, Life is impersonal. BUT it’s also Personal. I’ve discovered this for myself in my own spiritual practice. 

Please don’t believe me. This is something that went beyond the basic experience of “no-self.” It’s more like an experience of REAL. Nothing is separate including my individual consciousness. I’m individual Now and Forever yet also connected to The All.

It’s like the Unity in the multitude. It’s a paradox. But I discovered my own reality beyond “no-self.”

By loving a particular being, we make ourselves real. Not simply transitory. We connect to the Totality in a more complete way. The particular is also the Whole.

But few of us really love, do we? It fades after time. We don’t realize how sacred or powerful it can be.

My love for Garcia never faded. He taught me how God and the Angelic Hierarchies — actual Beings (as above, so below remember?) would love. Now I’m better at applying and sustaining it with people. 

Mary's sketch of Garcia healing me when I had a flu.

Pets and the Afterlife

On Thursday, the day after Garcia died, I was working on a new song. Being creative is one of the best ways I have to process grief. I had to move one of my keyboards from my studio to our bedroom to make some room.

I put it on the bed. 

Out of the left corner of my eye for about a second, I saw Garcia!

This probably sounds crazy to those of you who are completely steeped in the material viewpoint.

The thing is, it was a different experience. I was already feeling Garcia and replaying memories in my mind.

I had already been wondering “is this what people mean with being visited by loved ones? Because it seems like it's just very strong and emotional memories.” These memories certainly were vivid, but didn’t seem like a real spiritual experience. 

And I’d already seen him out of the corner of my eye several times. This was more interesting...

But this one time was different. Garcia was sitting on the floor at one of his usual spots — but he had a slightly different light or aura around him as well as a darker tone to his colour. Opaque yet translucent and more vivid in colour.

And he was an object that appeared in my awareness EXTERNAL to the limits of my body. Like anything else we observe.

In other words, the vision of Garcia definitely wasn’t inside my head.

Now, I realize there are those who will say “the mind has enough power to project a mirage like that.”

But keeping things brief here, I’ll simply say “isn’t that exactly what materialistic reductionism is?” 

Reducing everything to a cold and heartless explanation of quarks and digits? Life is simply an abstraction and therefore not ultimately real? (I realize many spiritual people also love to say that life is an illusion. I’ll tackle that subtle error in another post. But for now, let me ask you: “Do you exist?” Right.)

Just because our minds “create a mirage” — does that mean there’s not an inner Reality that is communicating to us in our sensory world via symbols?

To me, I knew. It was an inner knowing. You can’t explain that to anyone else. They have to have the experience for themselves.

You have to be able to have a “trans-cerebral” experience in order to do this. Most of us are still stuck in intellectual concepts that yes, are very convenient for our survival (technology, etc.) but are missing at least half the circle when it comes to explaining the totality of life.

I saw Garcia again in a similar fashion later that evening while sitting on our couch. This time to the right of my vision field and external to the limits of my body. He was walking toward me.

I wrote both of these experiences down in my journal because otherwise self doubt (the mind) would have more of a foothold.

I mean, if you cannot believe in yourself — and I don’t mean in a “rah rah” personal development coach kind of way —  I mean, actually know your reality, how can you truly live a good life? No matter how you even try to be good, you’ll never be satisfied. You have no roots.

The mind polarizes and the heart synthesizes. So again, fall in love. Love those around you. Love someone!

And finally, if you’re single, I highly recommend getting a cat or dog if you haven’t already done so. Or other exotic animal if that’s your thing. And really love them. Really attach to them. Give them your whole heart. It’s so worth it!

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Are Soulmates and Twin Flames Real Love?

The Lovers and 2 of Cups Light Seers Tarot

I got the idea for this article from a post I saw this morning on Instagram. It said that so many people are single and dreaming about finding someone special. And many people that are in committed relationships aren’t in love with each other.

It instantly sparked the concept behind this post. 

Warning: This is not your typical article/information download on soulmates or twin flames that you can "snack" on. It's not a list of signals to look for that will guarantee that this person is your twin flame or soulmate. I don't want to add to the already excessive amount of those articles on the internet. But if you are open to expanding your consciousness and have a courageous heart, please read on.

Are You Dreaming About A Soulmate or Twin Flame?

Are you dreaming about finally finding real love by meeting your twin flame or soulmate? Or perhaps you think you've already met them but aren't sure. Many people that call me for tarot readings fit this description. That experience plus my perspective based on decades of spiritual practice — which includes many years of being in a loving, committed relationship — have given me the insights to back up the perspective I’m going to share in this article.

Dreaming about a soulmate or twin flame takes place in your imagination. This person meets all your criteria and even stimulates the release of certain stimulating hormones. You’re stoned in love!

When you imagine your soulmate or twin flame, they are perfect in every way. They never let you down or disagree with you. They are an angel from heaven. They also satisfy your every erotic desire. You see yourself riding off into the sunset together and living happily ever after…

The Reality of Most Committed Relationships. Is This Real Love?

Most relationships start off as romantic and full of high expectations and hormones. Once the initial euphoria wears off and the day to day reality sets in of sharing the bathroom, the bills, the chores and the many challenges, many conflicts that weren’t obvious in the beginning become obvious.

You want to do something this way, but they want to do it that way. You smile at them but they are in a bad mood because of something that happened earlier in the day. You’re tired. You’re hungry. They don’t like some people in your family. You both start to keep lists (very destructive to relationships!).

If you don’t work on yourself — in other words, let go of these resistances as they come up, they will start to erode and chip away at any of the love that was once between you.

A Spiritually Aligned Soulmate or Twin Flame Relationship

True soulmate and twin flame relationships -- where there is real love thriving between partners -- are not a given. They take extreme dedication. I’m not going to get into the esoteric or metaphysical explanations here. I’m simply going to describe everything in human terms and as something that can actually be experienced. No theory such as what are the differences between the various labels is necessary for this article.

What do labels have to do with actual love? I'm not saying that the labels aren't true in a relative sense. I'm saying if you've been overly focused on them you're missing the point. The point is to love. To be loving. Even when it's challenging.

Asking if someone is your twin flame is probably not the best question if you get a reading with me or anyone else. I have compassion for your wanting to know. But that kind of question can keep you in your head. You'll be missing vital signals being sent to you from your heart. 

A better way to format a question might be as follows:

"The issue is love. What do I need to understand about love?" Or, "the issue is my feelings about (person's name). What do I need to understand in order to proceed in the best way?"

However, Love is what you are. You have this unlimited support within you. You don’t have to believe me on that. Belief or intellectual understanding is a good place to start, but ultimately isn't enough to sustain you. 

If you can, keep an open mind to this at least as a possibility. Then proceed to observe yourself as you interact in relationship with others. See what you find out.

Are you happier when you naturally and spontaneously love your partner? Or are you happier when the other person is giving approval or love to you? Check this out for yourself in your own life.

I think you'll find that when you are giving love (without wanting anything in return) is when you are happiest. It's nice when our partner is giving us love -- but this isn't as satisfying when we are freely giving. Ultimately we come to realize that giving and receiving are the same thing.

Most Human Love Relationships Are Simply Neediness and Clinging

This sounds harsh and cynical, I know. But it’s not. Read on to find out why. 

Note: I'm a romantic by nature. I've believed in soulmates my entire adult life. Before I'd ever heard about twin flames, I knew that there was someone who was woven into the fabric of my destiny long before I ever met her. And I even wrote songs for her and dedicated a CD to her.

Many relationships that remain “committed” do so only out of neediness. Each partner is staying because of safety and what they can GET out of the relationship. Another words, it's an obligation. 

Like a job you don't really like, the relationship has become a means to an end.

It's not necessary to live like this! In my experience, it’s absolutely possible to BRING love to the relationship.

There are many spiritual practices and tools that can help us achieve a more open and clear connection to the Love that we already are. But the key to it all remains: are you going to use them when your separate self is screaming at the top of its lungs?

When we are connected to this Love — the real Love — the Love that needs no-body or no-thing to fulfill Itself, we are able to dissolve small hurts or resentments as they arise. This way they don’t build up into something that destroys the relationship. 

The balance between the personal and Universal is beginning to heal (our usual perception is extremely narrow, limited and skewed 100% to the personal).

We are then more able to love our partner as they are. Warts and all. The more we come from this place the stronger the connection and awareness gets. In other words, the more conscious our love becomes.

Because we are all connected at a deeper level, our partner can feel this loving acceptance. This allows them to drop their defensiveness and they also become more pleasant to be around.

This does NOT mean they will behave in the ways you prefer all the time! However, they will seem to be more willing to listen to your ideas and compromise with you. They will also surprise you in wonderful ways when you least expect it. And you both will be able to forgive quickly and move past any conflicts that will inevitably arise.

As a result, you will feel tangible vibrations of joy and bliss emanating from your heart chakra (centre of your chest) and radiating outwards on a regular basis.

If you practice loving and accepting the “apparent other” because they are the way they are and things still don’t change in your relationship, then this person will probably leave your life at some point. Either you or they will decide to leave simply because the energy is so mismatched. This is the point that many have reached when they decide to call me for a tarot reading.

Of course I can only give them an accurate map of the territory and explain what the consequences of certain choices might be. The rest is up to them. It’s their life after all. But at least they have much more clarity and insight about what was previously confusing them. They are empowered to make much better choices.

And if you’re fortunate enough to be in a spiritually aligned relationship in which both partners are not only committed to each other, but committed to using the relationship as a method by which to accelerate growth and Love, then it doesn’t matter what words you use to label it.

You can choose to call yourselves Soulmates or Twin Flames if you wish. 

Or you can simply be with each other in the silent field of the Now and allow the Love to envelope you and unite you in It’s embrace.

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Life Is Not Happening To You

Life Is Not Against You

As I write this, we’re in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. We’re all self-isolating and it’s having a huge impact on our lives in many ways.

1) We’re questioning what life means and what’s truly important.

Although the full extent of this virus is still not yet known, it’s pointing out the fact that our human life is fragile. Many of us go through our days in our comfort zones never questioning anything deeply.

Of course this will pass. It’s a crisis but it’s going to pass. My tarot readings have suggested that it will pass relatively quickly — perhaps in June or July — (please don’t take this as being carved in stone) but the world as we knew it will be changed forever. Potentially for the better.  But it's up to us and how we choose to respond.

Note: Timelines are one of the trickiest things to be certain of with a tarot reading. Also, when I say it will pass, I want to be clear that I'm referring to the lockdown in general. I hope I'm right! We'll see what happens. The impact on the world will create lasting change in many ways.

It’s kind of like divorce. Very messy and uncomfortable during the process of separating two lives that were intertwined. But once done, a sense of peace, freedom and a new and better way of life opens up. 

2) Social distancing is influencing mental health.

As humans we’re very social beings. With that connection cut-off drastically, we’re forced to find new ways to connect. We’ve had social media online for a while now, but does it cut the mustard?

Perhaps we’re realizing the value of being present for those who are in our lives. Perhaps we’ll begin to see how our lives are connected on so many levels. This is true despite your cognitive biases, your cultural customs, race/ethnicity or sexual orientation.

3) It's not that money is bad. It's not that money is good.

Many businesses have had to either shut down or find a way to operate online without going under. Some people’s jobs are on hold and others have even been laid off.

Most of us have a strange relationship with money. We have a love/hate relationship with it. We give our power away to it.

It’s not that money is bad. It’s not that money is good. 

Money is a symbol of energy exchange. It represents the Law of Exchange. An equilibrium on the cosmic scale. In the relative human world, it represents how much we value something we need or want.

Are we willing to sacrifice a certain amount in order to get something we want or need? 

Money is neutral in and of itself. It only has the value we give it. And it is actually a high spiritual principle as outlined above.

But like religion, in the human mind it can become distorted. Sometimes people use it to control and manipulate. Other times people allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated by money.

Perhaps we’ll discover a healthier relationship with money.

Life Doesn’t Happen To You

I don’t mean in the sense of denying that it’s happening. Because it is. At least in this state of the “waking dream.”

By waking dream, I mean we have dreams at night which can only exist because of our consciousness. Our existence. Sages and Mystics have been saying the same thing for millennia about our waking life. It’s dream like. 

We usually assume that we are a specific body with a name. And life happens to us. 

When we get caught in this mind trap, we need to defend and protect ourselves against everything. Anything can be a potential threat.

But just like a night time dream — does your consciousness arise from your body? Or does your body appear within your consciousness?

Check for yourself: 

If you answered that it arises from your body and the brain, could you be open to the possibility that your answer is a memorized concept that you learned somewhere? Somewhere in the past. 

Is it actually your direct experience here and now? Could you put your cognitive biases aside for just a few seconds?

Without going into memory, what’s actually here right now? Are you the content (sounds, images, sensations)? Or the space-like formless awareness that the content appears in?

How is it that you can see your body? It seems as though your eyes are located in your head and that is where you are looking “out” from.

And this is true in a relative sense. 

But if your eyes are part of your body (if you believe that your body is the source of your consciousness) then how can your eyes see your own body?

Pause. Reflect.

This may be a little advanced for some of you. That's because it's non-conceptual -- but we need to use concepts to point the way. This is the oldest and deepest spiritual teaching on this planet.

Believing that you are spiritual beingness and not your body is one thing. But having the direct experience for yourself is another.

Here’s another way to look at it (no pun intended). Notice how you can’t see your head? Does that mean you’re headless? 

Of course not. You can check in a mirror to verify.

But it does show that what you are is NOT an object. You cannot be found with your physical senses. Because YOU are the one by which your senses exist.

And when I say “you”, I don’t mean “Davidson Yeager” or “Nicole MacDonald” or “John Smith.”

I mean the silent field that allows for all the content that you experience. 

That Which Changes and The Changeless

If you’ve been on this planet long enough, you’ll notice things are constantly changing. Every moment something happens.

You can’t predict it. Even if it’s a simple basic thing like getting a text from someone. You could not have predicted exactly when that was going to happen. And probably not even from who. 

Or a fly comes into your room. You could not have known that was going to happen. Or you get an itch suddenly. How could you have known a few seconds ago? Or suddenly an idea pops into your head to go do something…

But notice… all of these simple events occur within a spacious awareness. Without space and silence, how could sound even be perceived?

Without a changeless background screen how could any images possibly be seen? Consider the hands on a watch or clock. Without the changeless background you would have no way of knowing the hands were moving.

Deep Knowing and The Pandemic

It’s easy to resist this coronavirus pandemic. We want it to end. We want life to get back to the way it was.

And yes, it will pass. This too shall pass.

But actually, it’s much more challenging to resist this virus pandemic. Why? Because the ego is built and sustained on resistance. Resistance uses up a tremendous amount of energy.

The ego is an image of who we imagine ourselves to be based upon our identification with our bodies and our memories. 

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If You Believe that You’re an Isolated Fragment Floating Around the Universe...

The ego is an image of who we imagine ourselves to be based upon our identification with our bodies and our memories.

If you believe that you’re an isolated fragment floating around the universe, you’re going to be very frightened.

But if you can be open at least to the possibility that you are the One Life beyond all forms — That by which all forms exist — your fear will subside.

Instead of resisting Life, you’ll begin to realize that you ARE Life. And all of this is your projection. It’s happening within Consciousness. By the way, this does NOT mean that your ego/personality can control Life. Ego is built on resistance, remember?

This doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

But when you experience your own Being as not being separate at a deeper level, you are no longer going to feel so threatened.

It’s no longer something outside of yourself. You’ll feel a sense of the eternal dimension within you.

You’ll still need to practice social distancing, stock up on food and wash your hands for 20 seconds on the surface of life — hopefully along with such beneficial practices as proper sleep, exercise and meditation or contemplation.

But you’ll be touching that deeper dimension of Being within yourself. And then you’ll see that not only are you the silent witnessing Presence of the world — but also that the world is you.

Ultimately there is only One Life with no second. 

Yes, there a billions (actually beyond counting) and even more "streams" of individual consciousness. But all apparent individuality and diversity comes from Oneness and ultimately flows back into that Oneness.

No! You don’t dissolve into nothingness! This is NOT nihilism. That sense of “I am” or the felt sense that I exist — that awareness that is here now — IS that Oneness.

This felt sense of "I am" remains forever the same but continues to expand.

You always have been. You always are. And you always will be. 

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Further Reading

5 Reasons Why Positive Thinking Won't Work

Letting Go of Fear and Doubt

3 Ways Self-Love Can Lift You Up

Can A Tarot Reading Really Help You?

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5 Reasons Why Positive Thinking Won’t Work Plus 2 Solutions

Why Positive Thinking Doesn't Always Work

I was recently a guest on  Alex Levy’s “The Spirit Guided Life” podcast.

Alex invited me on to talk about the reasons why positive thinking won't work.  He’d read an article on my blog about it and thought it would make an excellent topic for his show. 

I wrote a complete and brand new article on this topic below. If you're serious about understanding this topic, then I would recommend both reading this article and listening to the podcast.

If you're really digging into this, here's the original article on the problem with positive thinking that inspired Alex to invite me onto his show.

You can listen to the podcast below and bookmark this article to read later. Scroll down further to read my article or click on the links in Quick Navigation. 

In A Nutshell, The 5 Reasons Why Positive Thinking Won't Work Are...

1. The “Thinker” Is Not Real.

This is the number one reason that it won’t sustain you. The thought based entity in the head who most of us unconsciously identify with is not real. It’s an image in our head based upon conditioning. These days many people refer to this thought based entity as “ego.”

This is actually the one and only reason that positive thinking doesn’t really work in the long run. The reasons that I unpack below are all interrelated and reinforce this main fundamental point.

2. Thought Is An Effect Not A Cause

By the way, don’t believe me on any of this. Take a few moments right now to check for yourself. Relax and look within. Watch your thoughts. If “you” are your thoughts, then who or what is watching your thoughts? Would there not need to be space for your thoughts to appear in? Just as any object in your room requires space around it in order to be?

3. Even Positive Thoughts Are Limited.

They are confined to what they are and what they are not. For example, cold is cold because it is not hot. Even lukewarm — although subjective — is neither boiling hot nor is it freezing cold. But neither is it luxuriously warm or anything suitable for a hot bath. An orange is a piece of fruit but it’s not an apple or a pear. It’s orange — not blue or red, etc. The word is a limited concept but it is not the actual fruit itself.

Any thought is based upon a word. A word is a concept. It’s the map — not the actual terrain. So even if you use positive thoughts, they are limited in their power. Truthfully, most thoughts have very little power. 

Light Shining Through Form

4. Joy, Peace, Love, Intuition and Courage Arise From Beyond The Mind

 Joy, peace, love, intuition, courage — these are not thought based. These are states of being that arise from beyond the mind. The mind (thought) actually covers these states over with it’s opaque and dense filters of concepts and noise. 

This spacious and silent Intelligence that gives life to the mind and body does not require the mind or body in order to be.

When we think less — athletes and performers can attest to this — we are more intelligent and effective. This is because we are no longer confined to the little “me” with all of it’s petty fears and concerns about what others might think, etc. We are free it do whatever is best or appropriate in the moment.

However, what's interesting and useful here is that making a choice to use a tool or any technique you’ve learned comes from this deeper and more intelligent dimension. The mind-made-sense of self (ego) resists choices to use tools that shine a light on it. This is because they mean death to the illusions that ego perpetuates. So there may be times when choosing a positive thought is actually a conscious choice.

An example would be with your spouse or partner. Perhaps you notice you’re feeling irritable toward something they did or said. Instead of believing that thought/feeling, you could notice that this reaction is not you — the “watcher” or subject — but is an object in consciousness.

In this case, choosing to think something more positive like remembering something beautiful and loving about this person would work. BUT this is only because the thought is connected and comes from your deeper, silent and limitless intelligence. It informs the thought in this case.

The vast majority of our thinking is utterly divorced from any intelligence. It is mechanical and repetitive.

Don’t believe me? Spend a few minutes watching your thoughts. Really observing. No judgement — simply observe. 

5. Your Essential Nature Is From Beyond The Mind

As outlined in reason number 4, our positive states of being are already who and what we are. Thinking and mind obscure this. A much more powerful and effective way of accessing true power and abundance is to actually let go of identifying with thinking!

Wait a minute! No. I don’t mean you should stop thinking. This would be one fragmented thought (thoughts are limited, remember?) fighting against the stream of thought that is already happening. 

And if you recall from number 4 above, I also said that when thought is informed by this formless and silent field that simply IS (some traditions call it Christ Consciousness or Buddha nature for example) it is actually creative, fresh and new. 

But this can only happen when there is space. When we aren’t living through the thinker constantly.

Here’s the solution — and this has been said in many ways by mystics and sages throughout known history —  when you align with watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness is becoming active.

You will probably go back and forth from being lost in thought to becoming aware of thought many times throughout a given day. That’s ok. Everytime you realize you’re lost in thought, you’ve created more awareness. More Light. You can only move forward with this practice.

When the mind is really quiet, you’ll get a sense of “being aware of being aware.” You’re alive now!

Thoughts and emotions — especially emotional pain from the past — will still overcome you many times. But your realization that you are not your thoughts or your mind will get stronger and stronger.

Eventually, if you persevere (because you are truly tired of suffering) your past pain won’t overcome you everytime.

Then you'll reach a point where you’ll persevere because you are feeling better. You want even more inner peace. Keep going. You are helping everyone on this planet with this.

The Fool Card At The Top

The Fool archetype has also alternatively been called The Idiot or The Jester. 

I thought the naivete and innocence of The Fool was a great illustration of the points I attempt to make in this article. 

You don't even need to be an experienced tarot practitioner to understand the basic meaning of The Fool. There are layers and deeper meanings to this archetype of course, but I won't go into it here.

Just contemplate the image along with what you read in the article and I'll think you'll get even more out of it.

Bonus Problem With Positive Thinking

There’s one more bonus reason as to why positive thinking won't work. Most positive thinking is initiated because the egoic self wants things to change. Wants to stop suffering and feel better about itself. 

There’s nothing wrong with that! 

However, as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. In other words, although the intentions are good, they are misguided.

This is because the egoic self can only see things in terms of it’s desires, fears and tendencies. It’s all about “me, me, me!”

I want the perfect lover or mate. I want to have worldly power and status. I want to be rich. I want to be famous. I want to have an easy life with no challenges or upsets, etc.

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with any of these things. If they come down the river of life, accept them and enjoy them — while you can.

But when we (I say this because I’ve been there!) believe we need these things in order to be happy, we’re sabotaging our actual happiness and inner peace.

Not only that but our egos, being built upon limited concepts and thought, have no idea of what is truly in our best interest or highest good.

This is not about being pessimistic.

You can still honour your heart’s desires. Go for your goals. Achieve what you feel inspired to achieve. That’s what a lot of the fun and challenge of being here in the physical is all about!

The key is to have a sense of space about it. Don’t believe that who you are is based upon a successful outcome.

This will create a lot of stress — especially when things may not be going your way. 

Whereas if you have a sense of space and lightness around your dreams and goals, it will be more like a fun game.

If you get it, awesome! If you don’t, you know deep down that you’re ok. It won’t devastate you. And when you’re not devastated, guess what? You have more energy and resilience to get back up and try again — whether it’s the same goal or a new one.

Our egos, being built upon limited concepts and thought, haven't the scope of what is truly in our best interest or highest good.

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2 Solutions When Positive Thinking Doesn't Work...

1. Gratitude.

 When we consciously practice gratitude it actually influences our brain. The latest research has demonstrated that there is a "plasticity" to our brains. In other words, they can be changed. The area of the mind is still not understood scientifically -- but for now, researchers are saying the the brain and mind influence one another.

So as you practice gratitude, you change the shape of your brain for the better. This in turn allows the mind to work on shaping the brain in more positive directions of growth.

My understanding in a way that relates to my article is that real gratitude requires a conscious connection. It can't be mechanical gratitude where you're doing it because you think you should. You actually need to find the space for gratitude. 

This act connects you to the source of your Being. As I outlined above, all the higher qualities that matter are states of being that are always available beyond the opaque and noisy filters of the mind.

2. Watching The Thinker.

This is something I already discussed above but it bears repeating. If you don't have much experience with meditation, don't worry. It's not required. Simply find a quiet spot -- indoors, outdoors it doesn't matter -- just a place where you can relax and focus. 

Start by noticing your breathing. You can notice the sensations around your nostrils as the air comes in and goes out. Or, you can notice your diaphragm moving as you inhale and exhale. Allow your breathing to happen naturally. Simply notice the sensations.

Now, begin to feel your body from within if you can. Scan your hands and feel them from within. Then your feet. Then legs, arms, torso and head. Just feel the body from within. This is an amazing practice that comes from Eckhart Tolle. It works really well if powerful emotions come up. It can save you from saying harsh words, acting out in a destructive manner or shutting down emotionally.

Once you're aware of your breathing and can maintain at least some of your awareness on this and the inner energy field of your body, you can begin to watch your thoughts. 

Don't judge them -- that's just the thinker coming back in. Just watch them. You'll start to see them for what they are. An object appearing in space with no inherent meaning except what you give to it. If you give nothing to it, it has no real meaning.

Do this for a few minutes every day. Do it several times a day if possible. It will transform your life.

If this post resonated with you, subscribe to my newsletter and get more articles like this as well as a 15% coupon for your first releasing stuck feelings session. Find out more about "letting go" here.

Further Reading

The Problem With Positive Thinking

5 Principles To Turn Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

Learning The Art of Surrender and Non-Resistance

Is There A Deeper Purpose To Life?

The Dark Side of Twin Flames

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Can A Tarot Reading Really Help You?

Can A Tarot Reading Help?

Yes. And in this article, I’ll explain how. 

Tarot readings are like a map of what we can’t always see for ourselves. An experienced tarot reader will do their best to help you understand what choices are available to you. They will also outline the likely consequences of what those choices will be. But it’s still up to you to make the journey!

Creating your life can be compared to a chess game.  The best possible move to make at any given time is a result of any previous moves. In the same way, everything in your life is connected.  As soon as you make a certain move the potential outcome changes. 

When you’re stuck and you can’t seem to find a way forward, a map and GPS can get you headed toward your destination. A tarot reading can do the same thing when you feel lost or unsure in life. 

Can Tarot Readings Tell The Future?

Yes. That’s one of the main reasons people consult the cards. However, unlike with the  “fortune tellers” in Hollywood movies, the outcome is not carved in stone. Like I said above, the outcome is dependent to a greater or lesser degree upon any previous choices. In the east this is called the law of karma. In Christian mysticism this is known a the law of the farm. In other words, you reap what you sow.

Tarot readings are such a powerful tool because the cards show a likely outcome based upon where you are at the time of the reading.

The reading is like a Gestalt  or snapshot of the potential which is partially hidden at the time of the reading. This “gestalt” shows influences from the past as well as what’s happening in the present. This includes attitudes that are shown as being either helpful or unhelpful.  These helpful or opposing energies show the reader how the questioner can use their free will to influence and modify the potential outcome. To what degree they can change things depends upon many factors. 

What If I Don’t Like The Outcome? 

If you want to change your outcome, the cards might be asking you to let go of an attitude that is currently holding you back. A good tarot reader will explain ways that you can make these shifts in order to influence a better outcome.

Many times you can avoid the “potholes” that are warned about in the reading — if you adjust and align with the Tarot’s wisdom. 

And if you take the advice offered by the cards, you will be protected — even if you have to weather a storm. You’ll have the necessary rain and snow gear and any other support required to carry you through the experience. Remember, you are not separate from life Itself.  

Sometimes you’ll have more influence and sometimes you”ll have less. However, you ALWAYS have a choice with how you respond to the forces going on in your life. Yes, I know they’re relentless. But if we let go of resistance (another word for ego) we don’t waste nearly as much energy fighting what already is in play.

The more aligned you are with the Intelligence-Energy that animates you and gives life to this physical world, the safer you are — and the more true success, joy and wisdom can flow into your life. 

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created for something new to emerge - Eckhart Tolle

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How Does Tarot Actually Work? 

That’s a great question. I mean, how can a bunch of random cards with pictures on them show us the best way to live our lives?

If you’re reading this, you probably know a little something about dreams and how they can project images from our subconscious minds.

The famous Swiss psychologist Carl Jung is the one who pioneered this idea. He called it the “collective unconscious.” It’s basically a storehouse of universal images that we can all relate to. He called them archetypes. Some basic examples of universal archetypes would be Mother or Father. 

The images on the tarot are archetypal. Some grander images that deal with the larger issues of life — and some smaller ones that picture your day to day concerns.

There are 78 cards in all. 22 cards make up what’s called the major arcana. These are the major themes and lessons of life and destiny. 56 cards make up the minor arcana. These are the cards that show us daily life and issues.

There’s much more to it than this, of course, but that’s a basic overview of Tarot’s structure. 

Yes, But How Does It Work?

You’ve probably heard of body, mind and spirit. In Christianity there’s the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost. In some pagan traditions there’s the Maiden, Mother and Crone. 

There are many other ways throughout various cultures that this idea of a Trinity is expressed. Another one that I’ll use here is subconscious, conscious and superconscious minds. 

Note: Ultimately it’s all one mind, one Beingness. We’re just using language to break things down for intellectual understanding.

The subconscious mind is essentially the parts of our mind we aren’t looking at — or haven’t looked at. It’s also responsible for our autopilot abilities and learned behaviours. For example, we can walk and talk without having to think about it. 

Our conscious mind is the part of our minds that we most identify with. It’s basically where our attention is placed at any given moment. What we are currently aware of. We only have a certain amount of “attentional bandwidth” available at any given time.

It’s also where the image of “me” — who we think we are — arises. This “me” is an unconscious process for most — unless you meditate or do some work on yourself. It acts as a filter on our attention. Of course, our conscious attention is only a ridiculously small fraction of the entirety of our Being, but that’s another story. 

Superconscious is the term describing the Formless essence of life. It is Infinite Energy and Intelligence. It has no beginning or end and is beyond the human mind’s ability to conceptualize. This is because any label or concept we place on It can only point to It. It simply IS.

Other words for superconsciousness are God, Higher Self, Divine, The Tao, etc.

I am not the perishable body, but the eternal Self- Ramana Maharshi

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The Tarot Creates A Link Between the Subconscious, Conscious and Superconscious Minds.

Even though ultimately there is no separation, we cannot always be in such a peak state of consciousness/perception. This is one of the reasons that Tarot is such a powerful tool! 

It supports us in getting a bird’s eye view of things, thereby expanding and raising our consciousness.

Another way of explaining how tarot works is that no-thing is separate and independent in and of itself. Every human, animal or inanimate object is existing within a field of infinite potential.

This formless “Field” contains infinite possibility within it. You could think of It as the womb of creation. The Great Mother. 

In modern quantum science, this mysterious phenomenon is known as the particle (infinite portential) state. Once particles are observed by an observer (ie. you), they morph into wave (form) state. In other words, the unlimited potential manifests as a limited form.

Tarot is telling the reader what the questioner is likely going to manifest once the particles are “observed.”

Ok, I Get It. But How Accurate Is Tarot?

Tarot is incredibly accurate -- however, it should be understood that it's not 100%. It's not meant to be a dogmatic and rigid system to follow. It's designed to show us where we might get into trouble and what possible beneficial opportunities we can reach for. The cards also show us the likely outcome should all things stay the same.

Tarot Readings Are A Two Way Street

The effectiveness also depends on the awareness and experience of the reader as well as the participation of you -- the person getting the reading. 

When I read a client, I prefer them to not say anything until I begin to ask them questions because I don't want any preconceived ideas. 

I then begin to ask questions once I have an overview of the energies in order to open things up and go deeper. For example a King of Swords card may turn up. In my system of reading this card is a man who is fair minded and logical -- perhaps even associated with law in some way. He knows how to cut off from his emotions and use his analytical powers when he needs to. 

So I would ask my client "who is this person? Do you know them?" And if this King of Swords appeared more in the future part of the timeline, I would let them know that this person was going to enter and how they might be an influence in some way. There's much more to it than that -- but this is an example of how the reading is a participatory experience.

A good tarot reading is certainly and definitely as accurate as astrology or numerology. Perhaps even more so because it can be specifically tailored to the details of your situation.

Sidenote: I love astrology. It’s another very useful tool. For me, it’s more like the weather report of the larger patterns and forces going on in your life. 

Keeping A Tarot Notebook

It can be very useful to keep notes. Write down your thoughts and insights about your reading. What were the main points that jumped out at you? If you can, ask the reader if they can give you a recording.

Don’t listen to the recording more than a couple of times after the reading, though. Just enough to be sure that you’ve got the gist of it.

Then jot down some points in a notebook. 

Come back in a few weeks or months and review. Listen to the recording. How have things unfolded in your actual experience? How does it connect to the reading for you now?

Doing this can be an incredibly powerful means of growth and transformation. Plus you’ll probably be blown away by the accuracy!

And if you ever learn to read cards, I strongly recommend keeping a journal of any readings you do for yourself.

So, What Does The Future Have In Store? 

We all want to know what the future has in store for us! Especially in the areas of love and relationship, business and career, wealth and prosperity, health and wellness.

Tarot will give you enough information to support you in your wanting to know, “is that path worth investing the time and effort? Am I on the right track to reach my goals? Are my goals even aligned with who I really am right now? Is this relationship really over?” etc.

Sometimes in life we reach a fork in the road and we need to make a choice. And our lists of pros and cons just don’t cut it.

We may have hit a brick wall and we’re wondering how to approach the situation in order to create the best results. We may feel like we’ve somehow lost direction. Or there’s a situation playing out in our life that is shaking things up at the foundations.

Wanting some insight into these types of scenarios is completely normal and healthy.

Caution: There are no guarantees, of course. As I said at the top of this article, you still have to make the journey. But now you can see the terrain for what it really is — as opposed to the distorted view we all have with our personal goggles of “stuff” and biases.

Note: One of the biggest obstacles to creating a more abundant and prosperous future is our past. Our minds are very heavily conditioned by the past and it can be challenging to believe that we are able to create something new and different. 

Tarot shows us the changing and impermanent nature of Life. The flow of various energies and situations. We begin to understand impermanence in an experiential way — and we don’t identify with it as much. We naturally begin to identify more with our witnessing and unchanging Presence. This leads to more courage and wisdom — the essence of the Serenity Prayer.

Another Way of Saying The Same Things…

A tarot reading is a picture story of what’s going on in your life situations both on the surface AND in the deeper, hidden recesses of your soul/psyche. Not only that, but Tarot shows any wisdom being communicated from your Higher Self.

The tarot cards essentially represent the universal and mythical archetypes shaping our lives.

They often show how the past is influencing your present, and what the most likely outcome will be if you continue with the same actions and patterns.

The reading will often also suggest any changes in attitudes or behaviour that will lead to a more beneficial outcome.

When someone is truly experienced with tarot, the images on the cards will trigger intuitive responses. These responses can even be beyond any traditional meanings that the cards might have.

This is because the tarot cards also influence and combine with each other in various ways, depending upon where they are placed in a spread. This is very important and something inexperienced readers will often miss.

How Often Should You Get A Reading?

In most cases, by the time someone decides to get a reading, the pressure with a certain issue has reached a high point.

However, there are some people who come once, twice or three times each year for a “check-in” kind of reading. And they will do this for many years. 

Other people only need one reading while facing a crisis — and still others will require several readings until their crisis passes. It all depends.

A word of caution. If you get too many readings too close together with the same issue, the answer will start to get muddled. This also goes for the people who go from one reader to the next with the same issue. Please don’t do this — you are only tangling yourself up in a sticky web of confusion! It’s usually a good idea to give a little space to allow things to unfold before getting another reading.

Tarot Readings, Blindspots and Denial

Most readings contain at least some information about changing a pattern or belief that you’re holding onto knowingly or unknowingly. This is with your highest good in mind.

When you are able to let go of a certain pattern (or attach to a healthier pattern), things will start to get better. HOWEVER, these outmoded patterns always seem to have a built-in defense mechanism.

We all want to drive on both sides of the road.

We don’t want to give up a limiting habit or pattern (even though it no longer serves) in order to get what will actually make us happier and more abundant.

Another term for this is denial. Eckhart Tolle calls it the pain body.  This is why we often need to suffer pain or loss before we’re motivated to look deeper. Some (like myself many many moons ago) have to hit a rock bottom before coming out of denial.

Life’s not always about shifting, though! Tarot readings can also give us a feeling of security when we’re worried. The cards can show us everything is working out and we ARE on track.

What Makes A Good Tarot Reader?

This is a bit of a sore point with me as there are now many readers online who aren’t very experienced — and some who are actually even unethical. I realize we all have to start somewhere — and some people are fairly intuitive. But that’s the easy part! 

It can be hard to discern which readers are the real deal. A good reading should leave you feeling empowered, uplifted and perhaps even wiser. Not in a “rah rah” Success Guru kind of way — but having a calm acceptance of things (including yourself) as they really are. You should also have a more solid understanding of your own courage and capability to face any challenges. 

Some kind of plan or strategy with how you will be moving forward.

A good reader will have a deep experiential knowledge and intuitive understanding of what the cards are saying in the reading. They’ll also be able to skillfully communicate with you in order to help you break through any denial or blockages you may have.

This must be done in a kind, gentle and non-judgemental manner. Yet firm enough to make an impression on you so that a shift can occur.

You are the one who has to make the change, though. You can’t change if you aren’t willing to change. And a good reader will never insist upon you changing if you’re not ready.

They will probably suggest that you take a look at whatever is holding you back — but the decision is always up to you.

Once a shift happens within you, you’ll start to see it reflected around you in your life.

At the very least, a good reader would NEVER promise you that they can get you together with your twinflame or remove a curse. To each their own — and if that’s what you want and believe, then I wish you the best. But please consider taking more responsibility for your life and do the work.

Nothing Is Carved In Stone

The future is being created by you right now! This is the part that should excite you about getting a tarot reading!

The reading is pointing out to you how you can move forward right NOW, in order to create your best future.

The NOW moment is where the future is created. Where else could it be created?

Yes, the past has some momentum. But if you are serious, you can decide to change your life.

Depending how deep the ruts and grooves are, it can be a bit like turning a large ship around — but it is entirely possible. Countless are the numbers of people who have done so throughout human history. And I am definitely one of them — which is why I’m passionate about powerful tools that can help us shift and heal.

This is not magic. At least not the Harry Potter kind. But it IS magic. Real magic. The kind that can bend your reality to go in a different direction.

Tarot Cards And The Law of Attraction

This could be an article in itself. And it probably will be at some point.

A tarot card reading is meant to leave you feeling empowered about your ability to create a more desirable future.

In my own experience with tarot and my own life, sometimes the future turns out in a wonderful way — but it wasn’t what I thought I (my ego) wanted at the time.

But just as we work on Life in order to create our best outcomes, Life works on us in order to change us in ways that actually serve our highest good.

In Summary

Tarot readings can empower you to chart your course in a way that results in the best possible outcome for your future. It will help you gain insights into situations and to realize your ability to create the future. Which of course, is actually only NOW.

Further Reading

5 Principles To Turn Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

3 Ways Self Love Can Lift You Up

How To Let Go of Fear and Doubt

The Problem With Positive Thinking

The Deeper Purpose of Life

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3 Ways Self Love Can Lift You Up

Self love is a term that is showing up verywhere you turn in “self-help” or “spiritual” circles these days. And when you read the memes it all sounds quite lovely. But what does it mean?

I’m going to break the idea of self love down into 3 questions in order to look at how it can possibly help us live richer and more meaningful lives.

  1. 1
     What exactly is self love? An overview. 
  2. 2
    How is self-love and acceptance relevant to your life and your struggles? 
  3. 3
    How do you love and accept yourself more? Or even at all?

What Exactly Is Self-Love? Sounds Like Ummm…You Know…

It could be what you’re thinking! But that wouldn’t be IT. Although that is a possible expression of self love and acceptance in action.

In simple terms, self love is an acceptance of yourself. Most of us judge ourselves harshly. Especially in light of the past.

We look at what we should have done or said. Or not done. We think “if only I made that choice instead…”Or, our “inner victim” takes over and we think “if my childhood had been more positive and nurturing…” etc.

You know the drill! Take a moment to bring to mind the stories and judgements you tend to have. And then notice how you might use them to bring yourself down.

Even looking in the mirror can be an experience of self-rejection as opposed to self-love. 

Everyone experiences this no matter how physically beautiful they may appear to others. Sure, we have our good hair days, but we certainly don’t have any difficulty finding our flaws.

So, self-love could be seen as accepting ourselves warts and all. This does NOT mean we aren’t striving to improve!

There’s Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Improve

These tendencies of finding flaws is built into our minds. That’s what our minds are designed for. They solve problems. This also means they create them when they aren’t even there!

As an example, it’s one thing to look in the mirror and think “I could stand to lose some weight. I should do something about it.”

But when we turn that into a way to put ourselves down as a human being it serves no purpose other than to keep us from expressing more of our potential!

How Is Self-Love Relevant To Your Life And Struggles?

One of the most powerful perspectives I’ve come across is from a “mental training” coach here in Canada by the name of Terry Orlick. He works with top athletes and performers on their mental approach to sport and life.

He urges his clients to set the highest dream goal they can possibly imagine. One with no limits.

Then to set a goal that is more realistic based on where they are right now and what they can commit to over the short term.

This next point is key. He then encourages them to set a 3rd goal of self-acceptance. That no matter if they reach their goals or not, as long as they did their best and stretched their capacities, any “failure” to realize their goal in no way diminishes their value as a person.

Could you accept yourself no matter what? This commitment can set your body and mind free to go for your goals and dreams with gusto -- and far less fear of perceived failure!

Self-love is key to maintaining your focus and passion for life. If you base your happiness on approval from others it’s going to be very unstable! One day they love us the next day they don’t, etc.

As long as you know you're doing your very best, you can look at yourself in the mirror with love and self-acceptance.

You can recognize that as in the case of many goals, there are many factors beyond your control. There are many other people involved, as well as other conditions that may or may not work in your favour.

This way, you're seeing things more the way they actually are. If you “fail,” you don’t take it so personally. Sure, you may feel disappointed for a little while. But you can exercise your will to love and accept yourself. You can engage in positive and realistic dialogue with yourself.

People who express more of their potential have learned to realize that the best thing to do is to accept things as they are, take any lessons they may be able to learn, and to move on.

This is highly relevant to our lives because this attitude of self-acceptance releases tremendous amounts of energy that supports us and carries us through all the inevitable ups and downs.

It allows us to feel more clarity, peace and joy throughout our days. This in turn increases our focus and our ability to be in the flow of our daily activities. And this generally leads to better results. 

We are in the zone more often and expressing closer to our potential on a consistent basis.

Self love could be viewed as loving and accepting yourself more than you want approval from apparent others.

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How Do We Bring More Self Love Into Our Lives?

This question has already been partially answered in the sections above. 

The first thing you need to do is to start by being consciously aware of when and how you put yourself down. And then you must be careful not to put yourself down when you observe yourself putting yourself down!

An important skill to be aware of is how you view your past. When you notice yourself wanting to change the past, you can let go of wanting to change it. 

This might seem very difficult in the beginning. Those habits and tendencies of self-loathing can be very strong. You’ve been practicing them for a very long time, after all!

First of all, do your best to realize that whatever happened in the past is now done. It cannot be changed no matter how much you may wish it to change. Can you see that? Can you see that it’s a waste of precious energy?

If you look even a bit deeper, can you see that whatever happened, no matter how unfortunate, is what shaped you in certain ways? You may not be able to change those things, but it is in your power to change how you look at it.

It boils down to a choice. Do you want to buy into the illusion of happiness on the surface of the world? The status quo? Or do you want the real happiness of self-love and acceptance?

Once you have these tough conversations with yourself, you are already engaging in self-love! You are loving yourself enough to look deeper and to be more honest with yourself.

From here on it’s a matter of simply doing your best. Set goals that inspire you in order to keep your focus. Remember it’s about the process and not the achievement of the goal that matters. This will help re-ignite your passion through the inevitable ups, downs, setbacks and challenges. This is true self-love in action.

Each day set small goals that move you forward in that general direction. Put your best focus on those small steps in the moment that you are taking them.

Take time to reflect on how you’re doing every once in a while. And, of course there’s the usual litany of self-love practices you can do. These are the suggestions you see everywhere. They're great and also very beneficial! But in this article I wanted to take you deeper into the core of what self-love means and how it can improve your experience of life.

The Usual List Of Self Love Practices (and these are good!)

  • Bathe in scented oils with candles
  • Eat a nice meal
  • Exercise
  • Good nutrition
  • Get your sleep
  • Take time out to be alone to reflect and meditate
  • Read a good book
  • Spend time in nature
  • Say “no” when you feel overextended
  • Ask for what you want instead of being passive about it and resentful later
  • Watch an uplifting movie
  • Encourage someone you care about
  • Play with a pet
  • Notice the simple joys in everyday life

There are many more that I’m sure you can think of. By now I think you have a much better idea of what self love is. If you’d like more support, you can work with me one on one.

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5 Principles To Turn Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

Is it even possible to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts? And if so, how is this done? Perhaps you’ve tried doing this many times throughout your life with little to no success. In this article, I’ll discuss how not only is it possible, but anyone who really wants to do it, can do it. In this article I outline 5 principles you can start using right away to support you in turning negativity into love, happiness and creativity.

Yes, It’s Challenging!

If it were easy, everyone would do it. And obviously, very rare is the person who has mastered this essential skill. The reason it’s so challenging, at least in my own experience, is that there seems to be a payoff to playing the same recordings again. And they are safe and familiar. They keep our ego -- our mind made sense of self as an individual separate from the All -- intact.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says that our bodies and brains are working together to create circuits that command a certain “chemical cocktail” to be released. Our body-mind becomes addicted to this chemical. That’s why, even though we know that we don’t want to react a certain way, we still do. It’s automatic. Just like the smoker who is addicted to nicotine. They’ve tried many times to kick the habit, but the urge to replenish their body with nicotine is stronger.

This brings us to Principle 1.

Principle 1: You Have To Know Why You Want To Change

This is the same as saying you have to really want to change. Like the old story of the monk who asks the master when he will receive enlightenment. The master takes him to the river and they wade in. Suddenly, and by surprise, the master pushes the monks head under the water and holds it there.

The monk is sputtering and struggling trying to come up for air. Finally, the master lets him up and he gasps in as much air as he can.

The master then says, “when you want enlightenment as much as you just wanted air, you’ll have it.” But here, I’ve worded it a little bit differently...

My wording said you have to know WHY you want to change. That's because this question forces you to be more specific. When someone says you simply have to want it, although that’s the truth, it’s not very helpful to the person trying to find the truth. Like in the metaphorical story above, the master made the answer very specific by holding the monks head under water. Are you tired of the same negative reactions to triggers in your life? If so, read on...

Some Examples Of Why You Might Want To Change Negative Patterns 
And Reactions

Your proposal or offer gets rejected and you take it to heart. You mope and feel down for days before you get over it.

Your spouse or significant other disagrees with you on a topic. You feel betrayed and you defend yourself to the point of yelling, screaming and or passive/aggressive silence and behaviour. You stay shut down for days.

Someone — or even a troll — criticizes or bullies you on social media. You take it personally and are afraid to post for a while.

All of the above are valid concerns. I know this, because I’ve been there myself. I’m only saying it’s possible to greatly increase your “immunity” to those things. No, it’s not easy — but this is where knowing the “why you want to change” can come in handy.

It all boils down to being tired of being a victim of other people’s approval or disapproval. This pattern is so ingrained in all of us. Reward and punishment are how we are conditioned since we are very young children. And although it's entirely possible to grow through wanting more happiness simply because it feels so good --  in the beginning of this work, suffering is often a stronger catalyst for change than contentment.

And, because our parents or caregivers were in no way perfect in how they dealt out reward and punishment, our views of “what is” are distorted. Our conditioned minds are like a funhouse mirror.

You might say to yourself, “you know what? Why do I take my partner’s words and behaviour to mean they don’t love me? Could I not grant them the right to be the way that they are? I don’t have to agree with their opinion or view, but I can be open to see why they see it that way. Could I be open to bringing love instead of just looking to get love?”  

By realizing why you want to change — that there are other alternatives to how you can respond to your partner that are more loving, creative and less polarizing — the seed of change is now planted and beginning to sprout. 

It goes without saying that this applies in all our relationships from family and friends to business and professional. This brings us to Principle 2...

Principle 2: Believe In Yourself And Your Ability To Change

All of these principles take constant renewal. You have to bring them to life everyday. You need to make time to remind yourself that you can change. If doubts come in, simply remind yourself of your “why.” Remind yourself of how much better you’ll feel when you’re able to make this change from negative thinking to feeling positive and courageous.

And if you’ve ever made any other changes in your life such as losing weight, exercising more, quitting smoking, etc. use these past successes to help support you in making this change.

Sometimes you simply have to refuse to believe in the doubts. Don’t try to stop them. Don’t be afraid of them. Just ignore them and remind yourself they’re not true.

The more you can see that they aren’t true, the easier it gets to deny their truth when they come up.

This is where being aware of being Aware can be so powerful. When you can look within and really see that you are NOT your thoughts — that they are an activity happening within and upon the Light of Awareness, you can truly begin to stop buying into them.

There’s a wonderful teacher named Hale Dwoskin who has a great saying that I really love. It goes like this:

Don’t buy what your mind is trying to sell you — even when it’s running a special! -- Hale Dwoskin

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This brings us to Principle 3...

Principle 3: Commit To Your Resolve. 

Again, this comes back to knowing your “why.” When you really understand the benefits of turning negative thoughts into positive energy, you’ll be able to commit to doing it. When you commit to doing it, you’ll be able to practice Principle 5 below and you’ll be able to stick with your resolve in everyday life.

Something I’ve done that has helped me break through my mind’s defenses is to keep a journal of my progress. Nothing elaborate. No apps necessary unless that’s your preferred style. Just a basic spiral notebook from the dollar store. 

By writing an insight or gain down on paper, you make it real. That way, if your mind comes back and says “that insight or progress was just your imagination,” you can see in your own handwriting that it was real enough to stop and write it down.

Seeing your progress in a tangible form will go a long way to fuelling your continued commitment to changing a particular negative tendency.

This brings us to Principle 4...

Principle 4: Visualize, Feel and Imagine Yourself Changing Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

This is so key and important when turning a negative mood into a positive! There’s a lot of information out there about visualizing in order to manifest what you want. But here, we’re using it to actually bring our spiritual ideals into grounded reality. We're changing negative thinking patterns into positive thoughts and feelings. This is real alchemy.

The top athletes and performers in the world have been using visualization as an essential part of their training for decades now. It’s well known that it makes a huge difference in bringing them closer to their potential.

So, we can use it for our life. Whether it’s in the business or personal life sector. we can use it! It doesn’t take long and you can find the way that works best for you. It does NOT have to be a rigid system. 

You can do it in the morning ( my preference), in bed before you fall asleep, or any other time that works best for you.

All you need to do is visualize a certain scenario that triggers you and makes you feel out of control. If you can’t see pictures clearly, don’t worry. Just get the feeling of the scenario.

And then replay the scenario in your mind while visualizing yourself responding in a different way. If it’s easy, great! Stay with that feeling for a minute or two.

If you’re having trouble holding the image together and it keeps going back to the unwanted reaction, persist until you are able to get the feeling of having a different and more positive response. By the way, this doesn't mean that you have to give up and roll over when it comes to your point of view! An analogy is that what was black and white now transforms into a brilliant silvery grey.

Try this! It’s potentially a real game changer. As I said above, countless champion athletes and great performers have been using this “secret” for decades.

Keep doing it everyday. This brings it to perhaps the most important principle of all, Principle 5...

Principle 5: Practice In Everyday Life — Everyday!

This is where the rubber hits the road, so to speak. However, if you’ve been doing your visualization and remembering why you want to change, it will be much easier to succeed in everday life.

The visualization has already changed your nervous system a little bit by showing it there are alternative and more appropriate responses available. And when you choose them, you’re still here. You didn’t die or vanish or become diminished in any way. As a matter of fact, you felt more alive, loving and powerful.

When a situation comes up that triggers feelings of rejection, judgement or low self worth, etc. remember your “why.” Take a breath and relax your shoulders. Remember your commitment. Remind yourself of how you’ve been upset in the past and those feelings eventually passed. So why not let them go right now? Why wait?

Stay true to yourself. Find a way that works for you in order to shift your focus back to a more expansive and positive one.

When you succeed, make sure to write it down when you get a chance. The next time something comes up to try to distract you from a positive focus, remember what you did to shift gears. Find the images and thoughts that work for you.

Some Final Thoughts On Turning Negative Thoughts Into Positive Ones

No matter what happens, be easy with yourself. If you don’t manage to shift your focus to a positive one right away, that’s ok. Simply do your best. It’s not about perfection, because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s just a mental concept. The best musicians and performers still make mistakes. They don’t make them as often, but they do make them. And when they do, they do their best to learn from them and move on. 

Being afraid to make mistakes is no way to live. Certainly we want to do our best to avoid them, but they are a part of learning. If we never made them, it would mean that we were only continuing to do what we already know. 

If you “slip” and get upset with someone, the main thing is to be conscious. In other words, to be watching the energy flowing through your mind and body. It may still be very powerful and take you over a bit from time to time, but as long as you do your best to watch it, you’ll be fine.

It’s Not About Never Expressing Anger Or Frustration

If you think of it this way you’re going to get caught by your mind — you’re already splitting yourself into different directions. You’re going to be suppressing energy. As I said above, it’s about feeling the energy without getting caught up in it. Doing your best to maintain your focus on the silent field of Awareness within which and upon which any energy or content is appearing.

And finally, see what works for you and what doesn’t. Certain things like being tired or hungry can make it more challenging to stay conscious — but we can still do our best.

If you’d like some one on one work with learning some powerful techniques to shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive, book a session with me.

  • Know why you want to change. Understand the benefit.
  • Believe in yourself and your ability to change.
  • Commit to making the change.
  • Visualize and practice using simulation in your imagination.
  • Practice and apply it in everyday life.

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Letting Go Of Fear And Doubt

 Letting go of fear and doubt is like building strength in a muscle. There is a “true” fear response — such as seeing a dangerous animal close by —  already built into our DNA.

But for most of us in modern civilization —unless we’re extreme wilderness camping —this is not the usual case. Most of our fears are psychological projections.

These fears and doubts are socially acquired and learned. We are concerned with what others will think of us. Or we are concerned for our status. Or, about changes in our lifestyle.

Just want to note, I’m certainly not here to judge anyone!

The reason I have an understanding of all this is because I’m human and therefore programmed with the same essential tendencies. But I’ve worked hard to let go of and soften many of those patterns with some of the following approaches.

 Letting go of fear and doubt is like building strength in a muscle. There is a “true” fear response — such as seeing a dangerous animal close by —  already built into our DNA.

But for most of us in modern civilization —unless we’re extreme wilderness camping —this is not the usual case. Most of our fears are psychological projections.

These fears and doubts are socially acquired and learned. We are concerned with what others will think of us. Or we are concerned for our status. Or, about changes in our lifestyle.

Just want to note, I’m certainly not here to judge anyone!

The reason I have any understanding of all this is because I’m human and therefore programmed with the same essential tendencies. But I’ve worked hard to let go of and soften many of those patterns with some of the following approaches.

How To Let Go Of Fear And Doubt

 The first thing is to realize that whatever you’re afraid of is mostly in your imagination. How’s that?

Just notice that when you experience fear ( you can substitute doubt for fear and it will work the same way), it’s always based in the past and imagined future. It’s never with what is actually here, now. 

If you truly look at what is actually here right now, you’ll find only Peace. Perhaps even bliss and joy will begin to bubble up.

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Just to be clear, the past can be anything up until a nanosecond ago. 

If you watch your fear (or doubt) closely, you’ll notice physical symptoms such as tightness in the solar plexus or chest, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, tension in the shoulders, shaky knees, shallow breathing, etc.

One of the first lines of defense that you can take is to train yourself daily with relaxation. Check your breathing patterns and shoulders. Start to allow yourself to consciously breathe more deeply into your belly. Allow your shoulders to drop. Relax any tension around your jaw or eyes. 

With training, you’ll be able to do this on the spot in the matter of one conscious breath. 

You’ll also notice that your mind is running a story about what was and anticipating that the same thing will happen in the imagined future. And the star of this story is a character called “me.” This story is also called a self-fulfilling prophecy. But don’t just believe me because I say so. Check it out for yourself the next time you notice fear or doubt. Ask yourself: Is it actually here right now? Or is it simply activity in the mind? You can also ask, “who or what is watching this activity? If I can observe my mind’s activity, then I must not be these thoughts or feelings!”

The Future Never Arrives!

It’s important to realize that whatever happened in the past is only a memory. It only has life here and now if you recreate it and believe it’s storyline.

Not only that, but the future is not here and it never will be! You can never get to the future. It’s all imagination. Even when next week actually arrives, it will be in the present moment. The future is a concept that we use to plan our mundane activities such as appointments, etc. But it has no actual reality or true substance.

When you schedule an event for the “future,” you do it Now. When you experience the event at that time, you experience it Now. The only time you can actually experience anything is Now.

So being worried about something that may or may not happen is a story in the mind. Not only that, but this worry and anxiety and “what if” can actually lower your resistance. It can be hard on your health. And here’s the thing…

Think of a time something happened to you that you didn’t want to happen. If you’re honest, it was probably far less scary in reality than it was in your mind. When it actually happened it you were simply putting one foot in front of the other as best you could. And it’s not here anymore except as a memory. 

Note: I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have concerns about potential challenges. Or that you shouldn’t prepare in any way that’s appropriate and actually within your control.

Do You Want More Abundance And Joy?

Of course you do. That’s why you need to challenge these mind made stories when they come up. The easiest way to start doing this is in a simulated environment.

By this, I mean take 5 or 10 minutes to get comfortable and relax. Bring to mind something from the past ( it could even be an event from earlier today) that made you feel uncomfortable, afraid or upset in some way.

Start to visualize yourself responding differently. In your first attempts, the vision might break up. You might go back to visualizing yourself responding in ways that aren’t the best.

But keep at it! With practice, you’ll be able to respond in healthy, courageous and appropriate ways within your visualization practice. 

This is all done in the sanctuary of your own imagination. Also remember to believe in yourself and your ability to change.

If doubt comes in and says “you can’t do this — you’ve tried to change before and it didn’t work” or some such nonsense, refuse to buy into it! Just refuse. It’s that simple. It’s also that powerful.

Like A Muscle It Gets Stronger With Practice

Once you’re able to visualize responding the way that you want to, you’ll be amazed to discover that it will carry through into your daily life.

Your body-mind is learning new responses in practice which then makes it easier to perform in the real world.

Of course you may slip from time to time. If so, great! Take it into your visualization practice. Review the scenario and change your response. Your response should include not only what you say or do, but perhaps even more importantly, how you feel. If someone criticizes you or says something that triggers you, feel it just bounce right off of you. Really feel that!

This muscle gets stronger and stronger with practice. But guess what? If you don’t practice, it gets stronger in the opposite direction. In other words you stay the same and you are a slave to your conditioned reactions. Perhaps the negativity gets even stronger and you spiral further downwards. If you’re fortunate though, you’ll hit your bottom. This will be your cue to turn everything around and spiral upwards. That’s what happened to me in 1997.

Do you really want to continue to take everything to heart and personally? Do you want to continue being afraid to express your true self? Or getting angry and irritated at loved ones for no real reason?

Changing Bad Moods Into Good Moods

What I’m talkiing about here is not only anecdotal evidence. Although I have personally made numerous changes in more and more positive directions over the past decades, there is now also a ton of research to support my claims.

The exciting new science of neuropsychology is showing that our brains can indeed be changed. Some are calling this ability “neuroplasticity.”

One of my favourite teachers, J. Krishnamurti, used to talk about this idea of changing the brain all the time — way before this was becoming mainstream knowledge.

You don’t have to kill the ego as old spiritual traditions have expressed it. We need ego to function in the world (3D). It’s more about taking your place at the driver’s seat and putting the ego to ride shotgun.

This way the Divine Intelligence “I AM” as the essence of your Beingness is supporting your true expression and healing. You are able to let go of identifying so strongly with memories, roles and stories that you previously believed were “you.”

This is not only exciting, but incredibly practical. It gives you the creative power to create fresh new approaches to life. It allows you to evolve your brain as life evolves.

Main Takeaways:

  1. 1
    It’s possible to change.
  2. 2
    It’s possible to increase your baseline level of happiness and joy in life — no matter what the circumstances.
  3. 3
    You need to believe in yourself and your capability to change.
  4. 4
    You need to know why you want to change. This gives you the energy and drive to do so.
  5. 5
    You need to practice using visualization.
  6. 6
     You need to commit to applying these changes in real life situations as best you can.
  7. 7
    Continue to review your progress and assess without judgement. 

The Problem With Positive Thinking

What? How could there possibly be a problem with positive thinking? Aren’t we supposed to use positive thinking to improve our lives and reach our goals? But first, what exactly IS positive thinking?

Ok, What Is Positive Thinking?

If we are feeling afraid, discouraged or the like, we might tell ourselves “I need to be more positive.” And this can work to an extent. It’s kind of like the “rah rah” approach. It might get us off the couch. But will it sustain us over the long haul? Or when the going gets tough?

Is positive thinking simply sticking a happy face on top of the mess and hoping to make it work?

We may try to psyche ourselves up by repeating affirmations and saying “I can do it.”

And like I said above, this can work to a point. By recognizing that we are afraid or discouraged and then trying to change it, we are are at least beginning to take some responsibility. But like anything else, we need correct information — whether it’s working out, learning a musical instrument or cooking a recipe.

The Problem

When we’re trying to get rid of a feeling like discouragement or fear, we’re actually creating resistance. Resistance is pitting one thought-based-sense-of-self against another.

Place your hands in prayer position. Now push your hands together. This is resistance. There’s no movement. It’s stuck.

If you’re feeling afraid or insecure and you then try to think positively, the positive thinking has it’s roots in the insecurity. The more you try to think positively, the more you are resisting your fear. And as you’ve seen for yourself in the above exercise, this only holds your fear in place.

But the good news is, there is a solution…

The Solution

The solution is allowing the negative feeling to be. Whatever it is — fear, insecurity, sadness, resistance, pride and wanting to control something or someone, etc.

Note: Yes. I know "allowing feelings" seems counterintuitive. Perhaps even scary! But actually, it’s not counterintuitive. It’s counter only to our conditioning. In truth it's in line with our intuition. Allow me to illustrate...

Think of a time when you were so upset that you couldn’t even think straight. The ability to reason was out the window. But somehow you got some time alone and just sat staring into space. Or maybe you were curled up in fetus position.

Eventually, it began to pass. Your mind began to slow down and you could actually think. You even had some glimpses of Light — although you may have rejected them because you wanted to stay in the dark.

My point is, you experienced a degree of “allowing” with your feelings. But this article is about doing so consciously.

Don’t try to change the feelings. Don’t try to modify it. Don’t try to cover it over with positive thinking. Don’t do anything to the feelings at all.

Instead, place your attention on the awareness that the feeling or state of mind is appearing in or on. 

Just to be clear: When I say feelings, it includes the sensations in your body (usually somewhere in your belly or chest), the thoughts, labels or conclusions and images in your head.

Who or what is aware of the feelings arising in this moment?

Don’t try to answer this with words or your mind. It’s meant to point you to the silent field of awareness that is already there before, during and after every. single. thought.

Just by making this shift in perception, you’re beginning to realize that the feeling is not necessarily attached to you in any way.

Just allow it to be. Observe it without engaging in it. Continue to gently place your attention on your awareness.

Now ask yourself: “Could I allow these feelings to be here in awareness — just for now?” They ARE there — so, why not see what happens by allowing them to be? If only for a moment.

You’ll notice that you’ll start feeling lighter. The feelings won’t seem to heavy and in your face. 

You can try following up with asking again: “Could I allow myself to welcome these images, thoughts, and sensations into awareness just for now? As best I can?”

Take a pause. Continue gently keeping your attention on your awareness. 

Then you could ask “If I can allow these feelings to be here, then could it also be possible that I could let them go?”

If the answer is yes, you will definitely notice a shift. Feeling more space and lightness around the feelings. You can repeat the rounds of questions a few times if think you have more to release.

If the answer is no, that’s ok too. Just simply go back to allowing and welcoming the feelings as best you can.

Remember to keep your attention on the awareness. 

One further question you can try that is very effective is: “ Am I this feeling? Or am I the awareness it’s appearing in or on?”

This will give you some space so that the feeling doesn’t run you. You’re becoming more aware of being aware.

Back To Positive Thinking...

Once you’ve learned to tap into the qualities of Awareness such as courage, Love and Peace you can go there directly.

For example, instead of using thought to try and be positive, you tap directly into Awareness or Beingness. It already is positive. Actually, It’s beyond positive and negative — but that’s another blog post for another time. It is the Light that gives thoughts any life. Without Awareness or Aliveness, thought would have no substance of it’s own. Investigate this for yourself over the coming days by watching your thoughts.

Start by allowing what is to be as it is. And then notice the Awareness that all content is appearing in or on. By placing your attention on Awareness, any negative thought patterns that may appear will no longer run you.

You won’t identify with them and think they are who you are. They are simply patterns of energy arising within and upon the Beingness that you are.

The more you practice this, the easier it gets. Eventually you’ll chuckle at many of the thoughts that come up that used to give you some grief.

Does This Mean Positive Thinking Is Bad?

No. The whole point I’m making here isn’t that positivity isn’t a good thing. Or that’s it’s not possible to be positive.

It’s this: You already ARE the positivity that you’re seeking. When you let go (allowing is the same thing as letting go) of identifying with negative feelings, you discover that you’re already free.

Then you don’t even need to think about positive thinking to counteract the fact that you identified with negativity in the first place.

When you connect consciously with Awareness on a regular basis, this becomes known to you — in a way that isn't intellectual or in words. You might even begin to have deeper and more sustained glimpses into the truth of who you are beyond name and form.

You will begin to see through the mind and it’s negativity. You no longer buy into it. At least not as easily. You aren’t trying to not buy into it. You actually see through it for yourself. 

Remember to be easy on yourself if you get caught. Just keep practicing. Remind yourself that it's just like mastering a musical instrument or a new language. 

The key to positivity is seeing through any apparent negativity and realizing that Love, Peace and Joy are already at the core.  

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Further Reading

Learning The Art of Surrender and Non-Resistance

Is There A Deeper Purpose To Life?

The Dark Side of Twin Flames

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Is There A Deeper Purpose To Life?

If you’re steeped in the prevailing materialistic mainstream paradigm — as we all are — you’re told that the purpose to life is to get a job so you can buy stuff. Add to that procreation for the purpose of reproduction.

After that, we’re told it’s about the pursuit of pleasure. Whatever pleasure means to you. Sex, food, drugs, alcohol, fame (approval), fortune, chocolate, love, status, a degree, an accomplishment, etc.

We need these things so that we can be happy and fulfilled.

I’m not even mentioning here the “post-modern” concept that everything is relative and there is no inherent meaning to life. This idea is on the level of mind only. It’s a concept. It doesn’t hold up when we investigate our actual experience.

The Problem

But these things don’t last. Pleasure comes and goes. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying chocolate, but the pleasure is short lived.

 Goals are great — but they can’t give you what you’re looking for. You already have within you what you’re looking for in the world.


Even when we achieve a goal, the happiness doesn’t last long. Somewhere in the back of our mind we’re waiting for a problem to rear it’s head. Or the new car smell wears off and we want something else in order to fill the hole in our soul.

Note: Please understand this is not saying you shouldn’t have goals or aspirations. We still want to engage in the world! Otherwise, we may be experiencing an aversion to the world. If so, you can let the aversion go too. It’s just the flip side of attachment. Please set goals that inspire you! Of course, that’s material for another article as many of us don’t really know what we want. We may even set goals to please others, gain status, etc. 


Is There Any True Happiness To Be Found?

Is there any true happiness to be found? Is there a deeper purpose to life? 

Even when people think a little more deeply about this purpose, they narrow it down to love and happiness. But there’s one catch…


What’s The Catch?

They’re still looking for it in the world. “Well sir,” you say, “where else would they look? Isn’t the world the only place things can be found?”

Yes. Apparent objects (things) only exist in the world. Whether they are cars, people, experiences, thoughts, feelings, images…they only exist in the world. You are relatively correct. If you really examine it, the world only exists in Awareness. But that’s another article 🙂

But…are happiness and love objects? Check. You might think they are experiences. But something all experiences have in common is that they come and go.

“Yes, but love and happiness come and go. That’s why we’re looking for them!”


Do Love and Happiness Actually Come and Go? Or Are They Always Present?

Is it possible that love and happiness are always present? Like the sky? But that they get covered over by feelings that come and go? Feelings such as sadness, loneliness, angst, hopelessness, anger, lust, etc.

If this is true, how do we find out?

Remember a time when you felt happy because you got something you wanted. Can you notice that it’s not the thing you got that GAVE you the happiness? How could that thing or experience have any power to give you anything?

When you got what you wanted, you gave yourself permission to drop your mind a bit (it wasn’t as busy or noisy for a brief time) and the happiness that is at the core of you was able to shine through.

An analogy that is often used for this is a mirror. If the surface is uneven and bumpy (like a noisy mind in a state of wanting), it’s difficult to see a clear reflection. But if it’s calm and serene, the reflection is much better.

In other words, happiness and love are always present. But our noisy minds that were programmed with words and concepts, cover this love and happiness.

Some have said that the root cause of all suffering is desire. This pointer was often misunderstood and has led to a lot of distortion in traditional religion. This is perhaps one of the reasons many contemporary people are looking elsewhere for spiritual guidance — if they’re looking at all. This does not mean we shouldn’t have desires. Wanting to stop desire is just another desire.

What this really means is that when we want something we are in a state of lack. We want because we don’t have. We feel incomplete. This wanting cuts us off from our natural state of wholeness and that disconnection is what creates the suffering.


How To Have Abundance Instead Of Wishing For It

When we are able to let go of the wanting, we give ourselves permission to have. And if any actions are necessary to create what we want, we’ll have more courage and energy to take them. We naturally feel fulfilled and inspired. This is abundance.

Notice when you think of something you want. If you relax into for a minute or so, you’ll begin to notice conflicting feelings and thoughts coming up such as “I can’t have it” or “I’m not worthy” etc.

These conflicting thoughts and feelings create inner resistance. I like to say it’s like driving with one foot on the brake.

These conflicting feelings live in our “subconscious.” When I say subconscioius, I don’t mean anything mystical or far out. I mean just below the threshold of awareness.

When we think of taking an action toward a goal for example, we bring up feelings from the subconscious. They were always there. But we didn’t notice them until we thought about our goal. Even though these feelings may feel uncomfortable, this is great! 

Why? Because it’s an opportunity to look at them and stop believing in them. In other words, to let them go.


You Are Already Whole and Complete

When we let go of these uncomfortable and constricting feelings, we naturally feel our true unlimited Beingness. Our true nature that was there prior to conditioning.

This is a deep sense of peace and stillness that could also be called happiness. Everything is perfect the way it is. It feels vast and unshakeable.

Usually thoughts and feelings and busy mind come back in to cover up this essential nature that is always there. That’s simply habit. Like grooves in the vinyl of a record.



As I write this article, I realize this topic could actually be a series of articles or even a book. There are so many angles I can approach it from — and they all interconnect and support each other. 

But for now, I would say that when we let go of resistance to what is, and embrace our courage (not out of stoicism or “ought to”) there is a deep sense of peace and happiness that seems to have no beginning or end. 

Once you touch this happiness you are never the same. You are beginning to awaken. This awakening gets stronger and more stabilized as you bring Awareness into your daily life. This happiness and peace that is your true nature is what you have been looking for all along in the world.

Of course, it’s wise to also do the activities that make us happy. But when we can remember that the source of our peace and happiness is within, it makes life so much sweeter and always fresh.

The deeper purpose of Life is to recognize the truth of what you are: Unlimited Being. Not as a concept or idea, but actually. To experience no separation from the Eternal Spirit. From this foundation, you are able to consistently enjoy and appreciate your life in the world regardless of what is going on. This is Love in action.

Related Articles

Learning The Art of Surrender and Non-Resistance

Life Is Not A Journey

The Dark Side of Twin Flames

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