3 Ways Self Love Can Lift You Up

Self love is a term that is showing up verywhere you turn in “self-help” or “spiritual” circles these days. And when you read the memes it all sounds quite lovely. But what does it mean?

I’m going to break the idea of self love down into 3 questions in order to look at how it can possibly help us live richer and more meaningful lives.


  1. 1
     What exactly is self love? An overview. 
  2. 2
    How is self-love and acceptance relevant to your life and your struggles? 
  3. 3
    How do you love and accept yourself more? Or even at all?

What Exactly Is Self-Love? Sounds Like Ummm…You Know…


It could be what you’re thinking! But that wouldn’t be IT. Although that is a possible expression of self love and acceptance in action.

In simple terms, self love is an acceptance of yourself. Most of us judge ourselves harshly. Especially in light of the past.

We look at what we should have done or said. Or not done. We think “if only I made that choice instead…”Or, our “inner victim” takes over and we think “if my childhood had been more positive and nurturing…” etc.

You know the drill! Take a moment to bring to mind the stories and judgements you tend to have. And then notice how you might use them to bring yourself down.

Even looking in the mirror can be an experience of self-rejection as opposed to self-love. 

Everyone experiences this no matter how physically beautiful they may appear to others. Sure, we have our good hair days, but we certainly don’t have any difficulty finding our flaws.

So, self-love could be seen as accepting ourselves warts and all. This does NOT mean we aren’t striving to improve!


There’s Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Improve


These tendencies of finding flaws is built into our minds. That’s what our minds are designed for. They solve problems. This also means they create them when they aren’t even there!

As an example, it’s one thing to look in the mirror and think “I could stand to lose some weight. I should do something about it.”

But when we turn that into a way to put ourselves down as a human being it serves no purpose other than to keep us from expressing more of our potential!


How Is Self-Love Relevant To Your Life And Struggles?


One of the most powerful perspectives I’ve come across is from a “mental training” coach here in Canada by the name of Terry Orlick. He works with top athletes and performers on their mental approach to sport and life.

He urges his clients to set the highest dream goal they can possibly imagine. One with no limits.

Then to set a goal that is more realistic based on where they are right now and what they can commit to over the short term.

This next point is key. He then encourages them to set a 3rd goal of self-acceptance. That no matter if they reach their goals or not, as long as they did their best and stretched their capacities, any “failure” to realize their goal in no way diminishes their value as a person.


Could you accept yourself no matter what? This commitment can set your body and mind free to go for your goals and dreams with gusto -- and far less fear of perceived failure!

Self-love is key to maintaining your focus and passion for life. If you base your happiness on approval from others it’s going to be very unstable! One day they love us the next day they don’t, etc.

As long as you know you're doing your very best, you can look at yourself in the mirror with love and self-acceptance.

You can recognize that as in the case of many goals, there are many factors beyond your control. There are many other people involved, as well as other conditions that may or may not work in your favour.

This way, you're seeing things more the way they actually are. If you “fail,” you don’t take it so personally. Sure, you may feel disappointed for a little while. But you can exercise your will to love and accept yourself. You can engage in positive and realistic dialogue with yourself.

People who express more of their potential have learned to realize that the best thing to do is to accept things as they are, take any lessons they may be able to learn, and to move on.

This is highly relevant to our lives because this attitude of self-acceptance releases tremendous amounts of energy that supports us and carries us through all the inevitable ups and downs.

It allows us to feel more clarity, peace and joy throughout our days. This in turn increases our focus and our ability to be in the flow of our daily activities. And this generally leads to better results. 

We are in the zone more often and expressing closer to our potential on a consistent basis.

Self love could be viewed as loving and accepting yourself more than you want approval from apparent others.

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How Do We Bring More Self Love Into Our Lives?


This question has already been partially answered in the sections above. 

The first thing you need to do is to start by being consciously aware of when and how you put yourself down. And then you must be careful not to put yourself down when you observe yourself putting yourself down!

An important skill to be aware of is how you view your past. When you notice yourself wanting to change the past, you can let go of wanting to change it. 

This might seem very difficult in the beginning. Those habits and tendencies of self-loathing can be very strong. You’ve been practicing them for a very long time, after all!

First of all, do your best to realize that whatever happened in the past is now done. It cannot be changed no matter how much you may wish it to change. Can you see that? Can you see that it’s a waste of precious energy?

If you look even a bit deeper, can you see that whatever happened, no matter how unfortunate, is what shaped you in certain ways? You may not be able to change those things, but it is in your power to change how you look at it.

It boils down to a choice. Do you want to buy into the illusion of happiness on the surface of the world? The status quo? Or do you want the real happiness of self-love and acceptance?

Once you have these tough conversations with yourself, you are already engaging in self-love! You are loving yourself enough to look deeper and to be more honest with yourself.

From here on it’s a matter of simply doing your best. Set goals that inspire you in order to keep your focus. Remember it’s about the process and not the achievement of the goal that matters. This will help re-ignite your passion through the inevitable ups, downs, setbacks and challenges. This is true self-love in action.

Each day set small goals that move you forward in that general direction. Put your best focus on those small steps in the moment that you are taking them.

Take time to reflect on how you’re doing every once in a while. And, of course there’s the usual litany of self-love practices you can do. These are the suggestions you see everywhere. They're great and also very beneficial! But in this article I wanted to take you deeper into the core of what self-love means and how it can improve your experience of life.


The Usual List Of Self Love Practices (and these are good!)

  • Bathe in scented oils with candles
  • Eat a nice meal
  • Exercise
  • Good nutrition
  • Get your sleep
  • Take time out to be alone to reflect and meditate
  • Read a good book
  • Spend time in nature
  • Say “no” when you feel overextended
  • Ask for what you want instead of being passive about it and resentful later
  • Watch an uplifting movie
  • Encourage someone you care about
  • Play with a pet
  • Notice the simple joys in everyday life

There are many more that I’m sure you can think of. By now I think you have a much better idea of what self love is. If you’d like more support, you can work with me one on one.


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5 Principles To Turn Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

Is it even possible to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts? And if so, how is this done? Perhaps you’ve tried doing this many times throughout your life with little to no success. In this article, I’ll discuss how not only is it possible, but anyone who really wants to do it, can do it. In this article I outline 5 principles you can start using right away to support you in turning negativity into love, happiness and creativity.

Yes, It’s Challenging!

If it were easy, everyone would do it. And obviously, very rare is the person who has mastered this essential skill. The reason it’s so challenging, at least in my own experience, is that there seems to be a payoff to playing the same recordings again. And they are safe and familiar. They keep our ego -- our mind made sense of self as an individual separate from the All -- intact.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says that our bodies and brains are working together to create circuits that command a certain “chemical cocktail” to be released. Our body-mind becomes addicted to this chemical. That’s why, even though we know that we don’t want to react a certain way, we still do. It’s automatic. Just like the smoker who is addicted to nicotine. They’ve tried many times to kick the habit, but the urge to replenish their body with nicotine is stronger.

This brings us to Principle 1.


Principle 1: You Have To Know Why You Want To Change

This is the same as saying you have to really want to change. Like the old story of the monk who asks the master when he will receive enlightenment. The master takes him to the river and they wade in. Suddenly, and by surprise, the master pushes the monks head under the water and holds it there.

The monk is sputtering and struggling trying to come up for air. Finally, the master lets him up and he gasps in as much air as he can.

The master then says, “when you want enlightenment as much as you just wanted air, you’ll have it.” But here, I’ve worded it a little bit differently...

My wording said you have to know WHY you want to change. That's because this question forces you to be more specific. When someone says you simply have to want it, although that’s the truth, it’s not very helpful to the person trying to find the truth. Like in the metaphorical story above, the master made the answer very specific by holding the monks head under water. Are you tired of the same negative reactions to triggers in your life? If so, read on...


Some Examples Of Why You Might Want To Change Negative Patterns 
And Reactions

Your proposal or offer gets rejected and you take it to heart. You mope and feel down for days before you get over it.

Your spouse or significant other disagrees with you on a topic. You feel betrayed and you defend yourself to the point of yelling, screaming and or passive/aggressive silence and behaviour. You stay shut down for days.

Someone — or even a troll — criticizes or bullies you on social media. You take it personally and are afraid to post for a while.

All of the above are valid concerns. I know this, because I’ve been there myself. I’m only saying it’s possible to greatly increase your “immunity” to those things. No, it’s not easy — but this is where knowing the “why you want to change” can come in handy.

It all boils down to being tired of being a victim of other people’s approval or disapproval. This pattern is so ingrained in all of us. Reward and punishment are how we are conditioned since we are very young children. And although it's entirely possible to grow through wanting more happiness simply because it feels so good --  in the beginning of this work, suffering is often a stronger catalyst for change than contentment.

And, because our parents or caregivers were in no way perfect in how they dealt out reward and punishment, our views of “what is” are distorted. Our conditioned minds are like a funhouse mirror.

You might say to yourself, “you know what? Why do I take my partner’s words and behaviour to mean they don’t love me? Could I not grant them the right to be the way that they are? I don’t have to agree with their opinion or view, but I can be open to see why they see it that way. Could I be open to bringing love instead of just looking to get love?”  

By realizing why you want to change — that there are other alternatives to how you can respond to your partner that are more loving, creative and less polarizing — the seed of change is now planted and beginning to sprout. 

It goes without saying that this applies in all our relationships from family and friends to business and professional. This brings us to Principle 2...


Principle 2: Believe In Yourself And Your Ability To Change

All of these principles take constant renewal. You have to bring them to life everyday. You need to make time to remind yourself that you can change. If doubts come in, simply remind yourself of your “why.” Remind yourself of how much better you’ll feel when you’re able to make this change from negative thinking to feeling positive and courageous.

And if you’ve ever made any other changes in your life such as losing weight, exercising more, quitting smoking, etc. use these past successes to help support you in making this change.

Sometimes you simply have to refuse to believe in the doubts. Don’t try to stop them. Don’t be afraid of them. Just ignore them and remind yourself they’re not true.

The more you can see that they aren’t true, the easier it gets to deny their truth when they come up.

This is where being aware of being Aware can be so powerful. When you can look within and really see that you are NOT your thoughts — that they are an activity happening within and upon the Light of Awareness, you can truly begin to stop buying into them.

There’s a wonderful teacher named Hale Dwoskin who has a great saying that I really love. It goes like this:



Don’t buy what your mind is trying to sell you — even when it’s running a special! -- Hale Dwoskin

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This brings us to Principle 3...


Principle 3: Commit To Your Resolve. 

Again, this comes back to knowing your “why.” When you really understand the benefits of turning negative thoughts into positive energy, you’ll be able to commit to doing it. When you commit to doing it, you’ll be able to practice Principle 5 below and you’ll be able to stick with your resolve in everyday life.

Something I’ve done that has helped me break through my mind’s defenses is to keep a journal of my progress. Nothing elaborate. No apps necessary unless that’s your preferred style. Just a basic spiral notebook from the dollar store. 

By writing an insight or gain down on paper, you make it real. That way, if your mind comes back and says “that insight or progress was just your imagination,” you can see in your own handwriting that it was real enough to stop and write it down.

Seeing your progress in a tangible form will go a long way to fuelling your continued commitment to changing a particular negative tendency.

This brings us to Principle 4...


Principle 4: Visualize, Feel and Imagine Yourself Changing Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

This is so key and important when turning a negative mood into a positive! There’s a lot of information out there about visualizing in order to manifest what you want. But here, we’re using it to actually bring our spiritual ideals into grounded reality. We're changing negative thinking patterns into positive thoughts and feelings. This is real alchemy.

The top athletes and performers in the world have been using visualization as an essential part of their training for decades now. It’s well known that it makes a huge difference in bringing them closer to their potential.

So, we can use it for our life. Whether it’s in the business or personal life sector. we can use it! It doesn’t take long and you can find the way that works best for you. It does NOT have to be a rigid system. 

You can do it in the morning ( my preference), in bed before you fall asleep, or any other time that works best for you.

All you need to do is visualize a certain scenario that triggers you and makes you feel out of control. If you can’t see pictures clearly, don’t worry. Just get the feeling of the scenario.

And then replay the scenario in your mind while visualizing yourself responding in a different way. If it’s easy, great! Stay with that feeling for a minute or two.

If you’re having trouble holding the image together and it keeps going back to the unwanted reaction, persist until you are able to get the feeling of having a different and more positive response. By the way, this doesn't mean that you have to give up and roll over when it comes to your point of view! An analogy is that what was black and white now transforms into a brilliant silvery grey.

Try this! It’s potentially a real game changer. As I said above, countless champion athletes and great performers have been using this “secret” for decades.

Keep doing it everyday. This brings it to perhaps the most important principle of all, Principle 5...


Principle 5: Practice In Everyday Life — Everyday!

This is where the rubber hits the road, so to speak. However, if you’ve been doing your visualization and remembering why you want to change, it will be much easier to succeed in everday life.

The visualization has already changed your nervous system a little bit by showing it there are alternative and more appropriate responses available. And when you choose them, you’re still here. You didn’t die or vanish or become diminished in any way. As a matter of fact, you felt more alive, loving and powerful.

When a situation comes up that triggers feelings of rejection, judgement or low self worth, etc. remember your “why.” Take a breath and relax your shoulders. Remember your commitment. Remind yourself of how you’ve been upset in the past and those feelings eventually passed. So why not let them go right now? Why wait?

Stay true to yourself. Find a way that works for you in order to shift your focus back to a more expansive and positive one.

When you succeed, make sure to write it down when you get a chance. The next time something comes up to try to distract you from a positive focus, remember what you did to shift gears. Find the images and thoughts that work for you.


Some Final Thoughts On Turning Negative Thoughts Into Positive Ones

No matter what happens, be easy with yourself. If you don’t manage to shift your focus to a positive one right away, that’s ok. Simply do your best. It’s not about perfection, because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s just a mental concept. The best musicians and performers still make mistakes. They don’t make them as often, but they do make them. And when they do, they do their best to learn from them and move on. 

Being afraid to make mistakes is no way to live. Certainly we want to do our best to avoid them, but they are a part of learning. If we never made them, it would mean that we were only continuing to do what we already know. 

If you “slip” and get upset with someone, the main thing is to be conscious. In other words, to be watching the energy flowing through your mind and body. It may still be very powerful and take you over a bit from time to time, but as long as you do your best to watch it, you’ll be fine.


It’s Not About Never Expressing Anger Or Frustration

If you think of it this way you’re going to get caught by your mind — you’re already splitting yourself into different directions. You’re going to be suppressing energy. As I said above, it’s about feeling the energy without getting caught up in it. Doing your best to maintain your focus on the silent field of Awareness within which and upon which any energy or content is appearing.

And finally, see what works for you and what doesn’t. Certain things like being tired or hungry can make it more challenging to stay conscious — but we can still do our best.

If you’d like some one on one work with learning some powerful techniques to shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive, book a session with me.


  • Know why you want to change. Understand the benefit.
  • Believe in yourself and your ability to change.
  • Commit to making the change.
  • Visualize and practice using simulation in your imagination.
  • Practice and apply it in everyday life.

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Letting Go Of Fear And Doubt

 Letting go of fear and doubt is like building strength in a muscle. There is a “true” fear response — such as seeing a dangerous animal close by —  already built into our DNA.

But for most of us in modern civilization —unless we’re extreme wilderness camping —this is not the usual case. Most of our fears are psychological projections.

These fears and doubts are socially acquired and learned. We are concerned with what others will think of us. Or we are concerned for our status. Or, about changes in our lifestyle.

Just want to note, I’m certainly not here to judge anyone!

The reason I have an understanding of all this is because I’m human and therefore programmed with the same essential tendencies. But I’ve worked hard to let go of and soften many of those patterns with some of the following approaches.

 Letting go of fear and doubt is like building strength in a muscle. There is a “true” fear response — such as seeing a dangerous animal close by —  already built into our DNA.

But for most of us in modern civilization —unless we’re extreme wilderness camping —this is not the usual case. Most of our fears are psychological projections.

These fears and doubts are socially acquired and learned. We are concerned with what others will think of us. Or we are concerned for our status. Or, about changes in our lifestyle.

Just want to note, I’m certainly not here to judge anyone!

The reason I have any understanding of all this is because I’m human and therefore programmed with the same essential tendencies. But I’ve worked hard to let go of and soften many of those patterns with some of the following approaches.


How To Let Go Of Fear And Doubt

 The first thing is to realize that whatever you’re afraid of is mostly in your imagination. How’s that?

Just notice that when you experience fear ( you can substitute doubt for fear and it will work the same way), it’s always based in the past and imagined future. It’s never with what is actually here, now. 



If you truly look at what is actually here right now, you’ll find only Peace. Perhaps even bliss and joy will begin to bubble up.

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Just to be clear, the past can be anything up until a nanosecond ago. 

If you watch your fear (or doubt) closely, you’ll notice physical symptoms such as tightness in the solar plexus or chest, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, tension in the shoulders, shaky knees, shallow breathing, etc.

One of the first lines of defense that you can take is to train yourself daily with relaxation. Check your breathing patterns and shoulders. Start to allow yourself to consciously breathe more deeply into your belly. Allow your shoulders to drop. Relax any tension around your jaw or eyes. 

With training, you’ll be able to do this on the spot in the matter of one conscious breath. 

You’ll also notice that your mind is running a story about what was and anticipating that the same thing will happen in the imagined future. And the star of this story is a character called “me.” This story is also called a self-fulfilling prophecy. But don’t just believe me because I say so. Check it out for yourself the next time you notice fear or doubt. Ask yourself: Is it actually here right now? Or is it simply activity in the mind? You can also ask, “who or what is watching this activity? If I can observe my mind’s activity, then I must not be these thoughts or feelings!”


The Future Never Arrives!

It’s important to realize that whatever happened in the past is only a memory. It only has life here and now if you recreate it and believe it’s storyline.

Not only that, but the future is not here and it never will be! You can never get to the future. It’s all imagination. Even when next week actually arrives, it will be in the present moment. The future is a concept that we use to plan our mundane activities such as appointments, etc. But it has no actual reality or true substance.

When you schedule an event for the “future,” you do it Now. When you experience the event at that time, you experience it Now. The only time you can actually experience anything is Now.

So being worried about something that may or may not happen is a story in the mind. Not only that, but this worry and anxiety and “what if” can actually lower your resistance. It can be hard on your health. And here’s the thing…

Think of a time something happened to you that you didn’t want to happen. If you’re honest, it was probably far less scary in reality than it was in your mind. When it actually happened it you were simply putting one foot in front of the other as best you could. And it’s not here anymore except as a memory. 

Note: I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have concerns about potential challenges. Or that you shouldn’t prepare in any way that’s appropriate and actually within your control.


Do You Want More Abundance And Joy?

Of course you do. That’s why you need to challenge these mind made stories when they come up. The easiest way to start doing this is in a simulated environment.

By this, I mean take 5 or 10 minutes to get comfortable and relax. Bring to mind something from the past ( it could even be an event from earlier today) that made you feel uncomfortable, afraid or upset in some way.

Start to visualize yourself responding differently. In your first attempts, the vision might break up. You might go back to visualizing yourself responding in ways that aren’t the best.

But keep at it! With practice, you’ll be able to respond in healthy, courageous and appropriate ways within your visualization practice. 

This is all done in the sanctuary of your own imagination. Also remember to believe in yourself and your ability to change.

If doubt comes in and says “you can’t do this — you’ve tried to change before and it didn’t work” or some such nonsense, refuse to buy into it! Just refuse. It’s that simple. It’s also that powerful.


Like A Muscle It Gets Stronger With Practice

Once you’re able to visualize responding the way that you want to, you’ll be amazed to discover that it will carry through into your daily life.

Your body-mind is learning new responses in practice which then makes it easier to perform in the real world.

Of course you may slip from time to time. If so, great! Take it into your visualization practice. Review the scenario and change your response. Your response should include not only what you say or do, but perhaps even more importantly, how you feel. If someone criticizes you or says something that triggers you, feel it just bounce right off of you. Really feel that!

This muscle gets stronger and stronger with practice. But guess what? If you don’t practice, it gets stronger in the opposite direction. In other words you stay the same and you are a slave to your conditioned reactions. Perhaps the negativity gets even stronger and you spiral further downwards. If you’re fortunate though, you’ll hit your bottom. This will be your cue to turn everything around and spiral upwards. That’s what happened to me in 1997.

Do you really want to continue to take everything to heart and personally? Do you want to continue being afraid to express your true self? Or getting angry and irritated at loved ones for no real reason?


Changing Bad Moods Into Good Moods

What I’m talkiing about here is not only anecdotal evidence. Although I have personally made numerous changes in more and more positive directions over the past decades, there is now also a ton of research to support my claims.

The exciting new science of neuropsychology is showing that our brains can indeed be changed. Some are calling this ability “neuroplasticity.”

One of my favourite teachers, J. Krishnamurti, used to talk about this idea of changing the brain all the time — way before this was becoming mainstream knowledge.

You don’t have to kill the ego as old spiritual traditions have expressed it. We need ego to function in the world (3D). It’s more about taking your place at the driver’s seat and putting the ego to ride shotgun.

This way the Divine Intelligence “I AM” as the essence of your Beingness is supporting your true expression and healing. You are able to let go of identifying so strongly with memories, roles and stories that you previously believed were “you.”

This is not only exciting, but incredibly practical. It gives you the creative power to create fresh new approaches to life. It allows you to evolve your brain as life evolves.


Main Takeaways:


  1. 1
    It’s possible to change.
  2. 2
    It’s possible to increase your baseline level of happiness and joy in life — no matter what the circumstances.
  3. 3
    You need to believe in yourself and your capability to change.
  4. 4
    You need to know why you want to change. This gives you the energy and drive to do so.
  5. 5
    You need to practice using visualization.
  6. 6
     You need to commit to applying these changes in real life situations as best you can.
  7. 7
    Continue to review your progress and assess without judgement. 

The Problem With Positive Thinking

What? How could there possibly be a problem with positive thinking? Aren’t we supposed to use positive thinking to improve our lives and reach our goals? But first, what exactly IS positive thinking?

Ok, What Is Positive Thinking?

If we are feeling afraid, discouraged or the like, we might tell ourselves “I need to be more positive.” And this can work to an extent. It’s kind of like the “rah rah” approach. It might get us off the couch. But will it sustain us over the long haul? Or when the going gets tough?

Is positive thinking simply sticking a happy face on top of the mess and hoping to make it work?

We may try to psyche ourselves up by repeating affirmations and saying “I can do it.”

And like I said above, this can work to a point. By recognizing that we are afraid or discouraged and then trying to change it, we are are at least beginning to take some responsibility. But like anything else, we need correct information — whether it’s working out, learning a musical instrument or cooking a recipe.


The Problem

When we’re trying to get rid of a feeling like discouragement or fear, we’re actually creating resistance. Resistance is pitting one thought-based-sense-of-self against another.

Place your hands in prayer position. Now push your hands together. This is resistance. There’s no movement. It’s stuck.

If you’re feeling afraid or insecure and you then try to think positively, the positive thinking has it’s roots in the insecurity. The more you try to think positively, the more you are resisting your fear. And as you’ve seen for yourself in the above exercise, this only holds your fear in place.

But the good news is, there is a solution…


The Solution

The solution is allowing the negative feeling to be. Whatever it is — fear, insecurity, sadness, resistance, pride and wanting to control something or someone, etc.

Note: Yes. I know "allowing feelings" seems counterintuitive. Perhaps even scary! But actually, it’s not counterintuitive. It’s counter only to our conditioning. In truth it's in line with our intuition. Allow me to illustrate...

Think of a time when you were so upset that you couldn’t even think straight. The ability to reason was out the window. But somehow you got some time alone and just sat staring into space. Or maybe you were curled up in fetus position.

Eventually, it began to pass. Your mind began to slow down and you could actually think. You even had some glimpses of Light — although you may have rejected them because you wanted to stay in the dark.

My point is, you experienced a degree of “allowing” with your feelings. But this article is about doing so consciously.

Don’t try to change the feelings. Don’t try to modify it. Don’t try to cover it over with positive thinking. Don’t do anything to the feelings at all.

Instead, place your attention on the awareness that the feeling or state of mind is appearing in or on. 

Just to be clear: When I say feelings, it includes the sensations in your body (usually somewhere in your belly or chest), the thoughts, labels or conclusions and images in your head.

Who or what is aware of the feelings arising in this moment?

Don’t try to answer this with words or your mind. It’s meant to point you to the silent field of awareness that is already there before, during and after every. single. thought.

Just by making this shift in perception, you’re beginning to realize that the feeling is not necessarily attached to you in any way.

Just allow it to be. Observe it without engaging in it. Continue to gently place your attention on your awareness.

Now ask yourself: “Could I allow these feelings to be here in awareness — just for now?” They ARE there — so, why not see what happens by allowing them to be? If only for a moment.

You’ll notice that you’ll start feeling lighter. The feelings won’t seem to heavy and in your face. 

You can try following up with asking again: “Could I allow myself to welcome these images, thoughts, and sensations into awareness just for now? As best I can?”

Take a pause. Continue gently keeping your attention on your awareness. 

Then you could ask “If I can allow these feelings to be here, then could it also be possible that I could let them go?”

If the answer is yes, you will definitely notice a shift. Feeling more space and lightness around the feelings. You can repeat the rounds of questions a few times if think you have more to release.

If the answer is no, that’s ok too. Just simply go back to allowing and welcoming the feelings as best you can.

Remember to keep your attention on the awareness. 

One further question you can try that is very effective is: “ Am I this feeling? Or am I the awareness it’s appearing in or on?”

This will give you some space so that the feeling doesn’t run you. You’re becoming more aware of being aware.


Back To Positive Thinking...

Once you’ve learned to tap into the qualities of Awareness such as courage, Love and Peace you can go there directly.

For example, instead of using thought to try and be positive, you tap directly into Awareness or Beingness. It already is positive. Actually, It’s beyond positive and negative — but that’s another blog post for another time. It is the Light that gives thoughts any life. Without Awareness or Aliveness, thought would have no substance of it’s own. Investigate this for yourself over the coming days by watching your thoughts.

Start by allowing what is to be as it is. And then notice the Awareness that all content is appearing in or on. By placing your attention on Awareness, any negative thought patterns that may appear will no longer run you.

You won’t identify with them and think they are who you are. They are simply patterns of energy arising within and upon the Beingness that you are.

The more you practice this, the easier it gets. Eventually you’ll chuckle at many of the thoughts that come up that used to give you some grief.


Does This Mean Positive Thinking Is Bad?

No. The whole point I’m making here isn’t that positivity isn’t a good thing. Or that’s it’s not possible to be positive.

It’s this: You already ARE the positivity that you’re seeking. When you let go (allowing is the same thing as letting go) of identifying with negative feelings, you discover that you’re already free.

Then you don’t even need to think about positive thinking to counteract the fact that you identified with negativity in the first place.

When you connect consciously with Awareness on a regular basis, this becomes known to you — in a way that isn't intellectual or in words. You might even begin to have deeper and more sustained glimpses into the truth of who you are beyond name and form.

You will begin to see through the mind and it’s negativity. You no longer buy into it. At least not as easily. You aren’t trying to not buy into it. You actually see through it for yourself. 

Remember to be easy on yourself if you get caught. Just keep practicing. Remind yourself that it's just like mastering a musical instrument or a new language. 

The key to positivity is seeing through any apparent negativity and realizing that Love, Peace and Joy are already at the core.  

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Further Reading

Learning The Art of Surrender and Non-Resistance

Is There A Deeper Purpose To Life?

The Dark Side of Twin Flames



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Is There A Deeper Purpose To Life?

If you’re steeped in the prevailing materialistic mainstream paradigm — as we all are — you’re told that the purpose to life is to get a job so you can buy stuff. Add to that procreation for the purpose of reproduction.

After that, we’re told it’s about the pursuit of pleasure. Whatever pleasure means to you. Sex, food, drugs, alcohol, fame (approval), fortune, chocolate, love, status, a degree, an accomplishment, etc.

We need these things so that we can be happy and fulfilled.

I’m not even mentioning here the “post-modern” concept that everything is relative and there is no inherent meaning to life. This idea is on the level of mind only. It’s a concept. It doesn’t hold up when we investigate our actual experience.

The Problem

But these things don’t last. Pleasure comes and goes. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying chocolate, but the pleasure is short lived.

 Goals are great — but they can’t give you what you’re looking for. You already have within you what you’re looking for in the world.

 

Even when we achieve a goal, the happiness doesn’t last long. Somewhere in the back of our mind we’re waiting for a problem to rear it’s head. Or the new car smell wears off and we want something else in order to fill the hole in our soul.

Note: Please understand this is not saying you shouldn’t have goals or aspirations. We still want to engage in the world! Otherwise, we may be experiencing an aversion to the world. If so, you can let the aversion go too. It’s just the flip side of attachment. Please set goals that inspire you! Of course, that’s material for another article as many of us don’t really know what we want. We may even set goals to please others, gain status, etc. 

 

Is There Any True Happiness To Be Found?

Is there any true happiness to be found? Is there a deeper purpose to life? 

Even when people think a little more deeply about this purpose, they narrow it down to love and happiness. But there’s one catch…

 

What’s The Catch?

They’re still looking for it in the world. “Well sir,” you say, “where else would they look? Isn’t the world the only place things can be found?”

Yes. Apparent objects (things) only exist in the world. Whether they are cars, people, experiences, thoughts, feelings, images…they only exist in the world. You are relatively correct. If you really examine it, the world only exists in Awareness. But that’s another article 🙂

But…are happiness and love objects? Check. You might think they are experiences. But something all experiences have in common is that they come and go.

“Yes, but love and happiness come and go. That’s why we’re looking for them!”

 

Do Love and Happiness Actually Come and Go? Or Are They Always Present?

Is it possible that love and happiness are always present? Like the sky? But that they get covered over by feelings that come and go? Feelings such as sadness, loneliness, angst, hopelessness, anger, lust, etc.

If this is true, how do we find out?

Remember a time when you felt happy because you got something you wanted. Can you notice that it’s not the thing you got that GAVE you the happiness? How could that thing or experience have any power to give you anything?

When you got what you wanted, you gave yourself permission to drop your mind a bit (it wasn’t as busy or noisy for a brief time) and the happiness that is at the core of you was able to shine through.

An analogy that is often used for this is a mirror. If the surface is uneven and bumpy (like a noisy mind in a state of wanting), it’s difficult to see a clear reflection. But if it’s calm and serene, the reflection is much better.

In other words, happiness and love are always present. But our noisy minds that were programmed with words and concepts, cover this love and happiness.

Some have said that the root cause of all suffering is desire. This pointer was often misunderstood and has led to a lot of distortion in traditional religion. This is perhaps one of the reasons many contemporary people are looking elsewhere for spiritual guidance — if they’re looking at all. This does not mean we shouldn’t have desires. Wanting to stop desire is just another desire.

What this really means is that when we want something we are in a state of lack. We want because we don’t have. We feel incomplete. This wanting cuts us off from our natural state of wholeness and that disconnection is what creates the suffering.

 

How To Have Abundance Instead Of Wishing For It

When we are able to let go of the wanting, we give ourselves permission to have. And if any actions are necessary to create what we want, we’ll have more courage and energy to take them. We naturally feel fulfilled and inspired. This is abundance.

Notice when you think of something you want. If you relax into for a minute or so, you’ll begin to notice conflicting feelings and thoughts coming up such as “I can’t have it” or “I’m not worthy” etc.

These conflicting thoughts and feelings create inner resistance. I like to say it’s like driving with one foot on the brake.

These conflicting feelings live in our “subconscious.” When I say subconscioius, I don’t mean anything mystical or far out. I mean just below the threshold of awareness.

When we think of taking an action toward a goal for example, we bring up feelings from the subconscious. They were always there. But we didn’t notice them until we thought about our goal. Even though these feelings may feel uncomfortable, this is great! 

Why? Because it’s an opportunity to look at them and stop believing in them. In other words, to let them go.

 

You Are Already Whole and Complete

When we let go of these uncomfortable and constricting feelings, we naturally feel our true unlimited Beingness. Our true nature that was there prior to conditioning.

This is a deep sense of peace and stillness that could also be called happiness. Everything is perfect the way it is. It feels vast and unshakeable.

Usually thoughts and feelings and busy mind come back in to cover up this essential nature that is always there. That’s simply habit. Like grooves in the vinyl of a record.

 

Summary

As I write this article, I realize this topic could actually be a series of articles or even a book. There are so many angles I can approach it from — and they all interconnect and support each other. 

But for now, I would say that when we let go of resistance to what is, and embrace our courage (not out of stoicism or “ought to”) there is a deep sense of peace and happiness that seems to have no beginning or end. 

Once you touch this happiness you are never the same. You are beginning to awaken. This awakening gets stronger and more stabilized as you bring Awareness into your daily life. This happiness and peace that is your true nature is what you have been looking for all along in the world.

Of course, it’s wise to also do the activities that make us happy. But when we can remember that the source of our peace and happiness is within, it makes life so much sweeter and always fresh.

The deeper purpose of Life is to recognize the truth of what you are: Unlimited Being. Not as a concept or idea, but actually. To experience no separation from the Eternal Spirit. From this foundation, you are able to consistently enjoy and appreciate your life in the world regardless of what is going on. This is Love in action.

Related Articles

Learning The Art of Surrender and Non-Resistance

Life Is Not A Journey

The Dark Side of Twin Flames

Learning The Art of Surrender And Non-Resistance

Learning the art of surrender comes up a lot in my work with others through facilitating letting go or tarot readings.

People often ask me how to surrender. They see and understand the importance of it, but they just don’t know how...

Learning the art of surrender will transform your life.

To the everyday mind, it seems that allowing means to give up and be a “doormat.”

But what if non-resistance is your true nature? Let’s look into it.

Resistance vs The Art of Surrender

Resisting “what is” and wanting to change it is from the conditioned and finite human mind. This is the root issue of all the discord on this planet.

We want to change people’s behaviour so that it’s more in line with our preferences so that we can “love” them. But if they don’t behave in those ways, we withhold our “love.” 

I don't know about you, but in my experience, withholding love from someone we love is definitely a surefire recipe for suffering. Our pride wants to be right. But who does the pride truly even belong to? When we look with the eyes of Love we see through the illusion of pride.

We also say we trust and have faith in a Higher Power — but then we resist what is and want to control things ourselves. We want the outcome to be the way we want it to be. Surrender seems like  death from the point of view of the limited ego.

We are afraid to look at “what is.” We forget the moments we truly remember our True Nature -- because these moments happen in the gaps between thoughts. And we overlook that. It’s too simple.

Then, once we’re back in our thinking mind, we identify with our thought based sense of self. Because this self is made up of memories and tendencies from the past, it cannot touch That which is the Real.

It tries to figure things out, but it just ends up feeling overwhelmed and even more confused and doubtful.

But it still doesn’t want to surrender control because it doesn’t want to “die.” 

So then it tries to believe. Belief can be helpful as an aid to help pull you up higher if you're temporarily in a dark place. Then faith can pull you even a bit further. But at some point you need the experience. You need to know for your yourself.

Techniques To Support The Art of Surrender

Next time you resist a person or an event in your life, check: are you those feelings and thoughts that are disturbed? Or, are you the Light of Awareness in which the uncomfortable feelings are appearing?

Then ask yourself “could I allow what is to be as it is? Just for now? As best I can?” These questions are very simple but powerful pointers toward the experience of surrendering.

If you’re still resisting, that’s perfectly ok. Try asking the above questions a few times.

Just by being willing to examine whether those thoughts and feelings are true is already raising your vibration into higher frequencies of courage. You are learning the art of surrender.

Once you do it with small things, your monkey mind will begin to see that surrender is in fact more helpful than trying to control everything. Which I think most of us realize is a losing proposition — and that’s why you’re here reading this.

What Are We Surrendering To?

If you notice that you are the Aware “space” (it’s not truly space, because Awareness or Consciousness has no form — but the image of space can sometimes be helpful in the beginning) and not the content, you are getting closer to touching Eternity. 

That is Awareness becoming aware of Itself.  Awareness is always present no matter what. It’s the same awareness that was there when you were 5 years old, 15 years old, 25 years old, 45 years old.

Notice how that awareness just simply is? It doesn’t need to make any effort in order to be? 

That Awareness is exactly the same Awareness that is present in any other person. It’s even the same Awareness that is in a cat or dog or any living thing. That is why it is said that God-All-That-Is is omnipresent (everywhere), omniscient (all-knowing), etc. But humans have a unique perspective because of our nervous system, brain, etc. 

Note: I’m definitely NOT saying that Consciousness comes from our brain.

I’m saying that with our brain and nervous system, we have the ability to be aware of being aware. This allows us to access That which is beyond time and space. Beyond the 3D experience that we seem to be completely immersed in. 

What Are We Surrendering? Is It A Sacrifice?

In order to do this, we need to surrender that which we think we are. This includes memories, thoughts, feelings, sensations, images, etc. Even our identification with our physical bodies.

So the only things we're "sacrificing" are the things which are not real to begin with. This doesn't mean we become blank slates devoid of colour! On the contrary. We become more spontaneous and less self conscious. 

Important Note: This does NOT mean you shouldn’t take care of your physical body while you have one. Please do your best to nourish it with good food, water, sleep and exercise of some kind.

Do You Exist?


Of course you do! Even if you were to answer "no," you would have to exist in order to validate your (incorrect) answer.

Let me try it this way: “Are you?”  In other words, are you aware?

You may have noticed that you paused to look. And you were able to realize that you do indeed exist. When you did this, there was no thought required.

Thoughts have no life in and of themselves. They require Awareness to give them life.

You came back to thought and words when you answered. But when you looked, you were simply being aware of the Awareness. That was a state of surrender.

This Awareness is not coloured by anything personal. No likes, dislikes, preferences or background story. Like I said above, notice how it felt exactly the same at many times during your life. Even though your mind has changed and your body has changed, the Awareness is the same.

This Awareness is non-local. In other words it’s the same Awareness that gives Light and Life to everything.

Next time you interact with another human being, see if you can become aware of the Awareness that they are — and allow yourself to recall that it is this same Awareness that is aware of you.

If you do this, even a mundane interaction can be experienced as sacred and holy.

This is the art of surrender. Surrendering or letting go of that which you are not. Desired outcomes, fears, attachments, aversions, etc. Being aware of Awareness is surrender.

How Can The Art of Surrender Help?

If you have a goal, surrender can free you up in so many ways. For those of you who have played sports or music, think of those times where your performance was really great.

Notice how it was those times that you were loose and confident? Not the kind of "confidence" where you were pumping yourself up. It was more a situation where you wanted to “win” or perform well, but you weren’t gripping the outcome so tightly. That was the art of surrender in action.

Same with anything in life. If you have a business goal and you can surrender the outcome, you’ll have more energy to take appropriate action. Remember — surrendering doesn’t mean you feel hopeless! It means that you are ok if you win or lose.

This puts you in that “loosey-goosey” state where optimal performance happens. This is also known as "flow."

Even if you want to be in a mutually supportive and healthy, loving relationship. I’m not going to go into it here, I will have other articles on this, but if you are looking to GET happiness from a relationship, you’re already in trouble.

But if you are surrendered to the outcome, it means you are more aligned with wanting a relationship as a way to express the joy and love you feel inside. You realize you have the ability to BRING love and happiness to the relationship.

This energy is also felt by other people. They feel safer and more relaxed around you as a result.

Learning the art of surrender is a powerful practice. The wonderful thing about it is that you can practice it best while engaging with the world. You don’t have to go live in a monastery or a cave. You can surrender in the midst of your busy life.

Further Reading:

The Dark Side of Twin Flames

Life Is Not A Journey

Manifesting Abundance for the Frustrated

   

The Dark Side of Twin Flames

There are a lot of words in “spiritual culture” these days that I don’t completely resonate with. I think they began with a positive intention, but they can cause a lot of unecessary confusion and suffering with people.

As an intuitive reader, I get asked certain questions a lot. Questions such as “is this person my twin flame? Or are they my karmic flame? etc.”

I’m not disagreeing and saying that there aren’t are certain kinds relationships that are expressed differently. I’m not saying that certain people aren’t drawn to each other in a way that the mind cannot possibly understand. A sort of pre-destined Destiny. Or certain lessons to be learned. This certainly seems to be true in my own experience. And I do of course, have a romantic sensibility that the concept of soulmates has always appealed to.

But when we put a relationship in a box with a label, we stifle whatever it is. Relationships — no matter whether lover and partner, parent, child, friend, co-worker or a cashier at a shop — are all based on Love.

If we get overly attached to the idea of a person being our “twin flame” it’s a subtle form of trying to control and manipulate the relationship. Is that Love?

Sidenote: Our ability to grant the other the right to be themselves is based on our ability to accept and love ourselves as we are. This will be a topic for a new article.

If that person truly is part of your Destiny and Lifepath in an intense, beautiful, healthy and mutually supportive way, that will unfold much better if you actually act from Love and allow it to be what it wants to be.

For example, I love Mary more than words could ever describe. And I know there’s a certain relative truth to us being “eternal soulmates/twin flames” or “divine masculine/divine feminine” — but I also know that those are only words. Words and concepts can only ever point. They are never the real.

What we have, I FEEL and EXPERIENCE within myself and within the day to day rhythms of our life together. Words or labels cannot possibly ever encompass the incredible sacredness and gratitude that I feel for Mary’s presence in my life.

I simply do my best to bring Love to our relationship. And sometimes when wounded parts of myself get triggered, I still do that. It’s hard work, but that’s when I look at myself until I turn whatever is inside me that is not love into love. I use a combination of pure awareness as well as powerful techniques of letting go.

The problems begin when people get overly attached to these labels and they insist that a certain person is a twin flame. Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t. You want me as a reader to provide some sort of guarantee to you. Life is not carved in stone, but…

I get it! I have compassion for that. It’s scary and we have to be vulnerable to open up to someone and then commit to going through the places we’ve been hurt together. We also have to be courageous enough to face the possibility of rejection.

All I’m trying to say is Love is a complete surrender. You just have to let it all out. You have to be prepared to accept what comes whether it comes or not. There are no guarantees.

It’s ok and healthy if you simply want some reassurance about proceeding with a certain person or not. But life is on a “need to know” basis. That’s how it was designed to be.

Most of the time, even the best readers or astrologers can only give you a “weather report” of the current energies. It’s up to us to co-create from the unknown. Yes, it’s scary at times. But that’s why we’re here.

Even if I were to get a message that the person was your Destiny, you’d STILL have to go through the courage of opening up your heart. And loving them even when their behaviour touches on a wound. You’d still have to actually BE in a relationship.

This can be another time you may need a reader. To help you discern if someone’s behaviour crossed a line and you are in a toxic relationship of some kind. But even in healthy relationships that are very happy, wounds sometimes get exposed. And that’s when the rubber hits the road.

If you feel you must use the labels above to describe certain types of dynamics that may exist in relationships, that’s fine. It can be helpful to a point. Maybe you and a certain someone DO have a destiny together. But if that’s so, why can’t you simply let go and trust a bit more? It’s because of the wounds within yourself. And that’s ok — we all have them. So for now, love yourself as best you can and just be aware that all labels — not matter how exotic and spiritual — are still mind stuff. And the mind cannot love or know Truth. It’s as simple as that.

Our minds note the differences with another, but only our hearts recognize the Love that is the Essential One Beingness in all.

Life Is Not A Journey

This post was inspired by the title of a well known talk by Alan Watts. I’ve linked to the video at the end of this article.

We are often unhappy. And if we’re not noticeably unhappy, we have a constant nagging dissatisfaction within us.

We have many ways to distract ourselves from these uncomfortable feelings. The ways we distract ourselves are well documented.

My preferred way for a few years was alcohol and drugs, etc. I’ve now been completely clean and sober since 1997. I was fortunate in that my distraction preference was so obvious and self-destructive that I was able to wake up. Scared straight you could say. Yours might be more subtle…

So, how can we find happiness? We’ve been conditioned to believe that it exists outside of ourselves in things such as the approval (or disapproval) of others, status, a certain partner or job and myriad other goals and ways.

When we get that “thing” then we can be happy. At least that’s what we tell ourselves.

The interesting thing to me, is that when observed closely, it’s pretty obvious that it all stems from a feeling of not being enough. Never feeling complete or whole. Something’s always missing.

Since we are so strongly identified with a psychological structure that is an extension of our physical bodies, we believe that our existence ends abruptly at our skin. In other words, we subconsciously believe we are separate from the rest of Life. This is why we feel incomplete and cut off. This is also why so many insignificant things are experienced as a potential threat.

Our bodies have a flight or fight mode of survival that has hijacked our minds. We’re like an animal who is always on edge — unless something works out the way we want it to. Or we use our preferred method of distraction…

But the root cause of our dissatisfaction is still there…

Is There A Way Out?

In my experience, absolutely. And it’s not through a religious belief or hypnoisis or “reprogramming” the mind.

It’s from a deep recognition that the present moment is the only place where Life is.

Read the above sentence again. Because it’s so simply, we overlook it. We think the answer must be complicated.

You can never get to the future where you think you will be complete. The future never arrives. It’s an imaginary fiction in your mind.

When you get “there” it will still be the present moment.

This is NOT about apathy or not creating “to do” lists and strategies. No. It’s about becoming aware of a deeper dimension of Life. A deeper dimension of you.As a matter of fact, live life with gusto! Go for it. When you are at ease in the present moment (the only place where Life actually is) you liberate great amounts of energy with which to create and act. And you aren’t as easily discouraged when the results aren’t what you’d hoped for. You continue to learn.

We usually get so caught up in the very narrow focus of our beta brain wave linear waking state that we can’t see the forest for the trees.

Watch The Video “Life Is Not A Journey” by Alan Watts

I’ve linked to a very powerful video. It’s brief (4:00 minutes) that I highly encourage you to watch. And then ponder. And ponder some more.

Click here to watch.

It’s by one of my favourite writers/philosopher/mystics of the 20th century, Alan Watts.

My Father Passed From This Earth

Davidson Yeager

Tribute Song For My Dad

My father passed on Monday, October 15, 2018 at 7:30 pm. It was devastating. It was devastating partly because he was still very healthy and vital at 87. We had all just spent the day together laughing and enjoying each other’s company a week prior for Canadian Thanksgiving.

So it was a little unexpected.

It was also devastating because we all spent a very long night in the hospital room with him as he died.

He was in a coma. It was gut wrenching and it tore me up inside to see him like that.

I was there with Mary (my wife), my 2 younger sisters, a niece, 2 nephews, a brother-in-law and my mum.

I think I got the ball rolling a little by saying out loud to him

“I love you, dad! I love you so much. Thank you for everything you gave me. Thank you for adopting me as a baby and giving me a wonderful home.” I was sobbing with tears.

As the night turned into morning, everyone had engaged in the conversation of how my dad had been, or how he had touched their lives.

My mum was an excellent singer as a young woman and she suddenly said she was going to sing him his favourite song. I wish I could tell you what it was, but it sounded like an old folk song from England.

She somehow sang the song quite well despite her advanced age, lack of recent use of her singing voice, and sobbing and crying in grief.

Mary noticed it first, but nobody heard her. Then my sister Cathy noticed. Then my mum. Despite having had a massive aneurism and more than half his brain being soaked in blood, he had tears in his eyes.

My mum gently pushed up his eyelid and all you could see was that his eyes were filled with tears.

Oh my God!! That’s all I can really say. I still start to cry buckets when my mind replays that scene in memory.

I’m ok now on day 5. It’s getting easier. I’m still crying. It comes in waves. Certain reminders and memories of my dad.

But I can go out in public now and at least and nobody would be the wiser — unless I told them what had happened.

Writing A Song For Dad

I started writing a sacred song as a tribute both to Life and to my dad.

Now let me tell you — those writing sessions are cathartic! Good thing I’m alone in my studio.

I’m going to finish producing it (my friend and mentor, producer Gary Gray is going to put the final polish on it)  and make a video with pictures of our lives together with my dad. Then I’m going to send it to family members and friends of his.

Update: It’s November 2 now and I’ve finished writing the song. I’ve also finished “pre-production” and completed recording most of the tracks. 

I’ve had a strong, clear intuitive feeling that this song will really touch a lot of people. So, I’m going to do my best to get it “out there” when it’s completed.

He Had Many Friends

My dad joined the Air Force right out of high school. He had REALLY wanted to be a doctor, but growing up in the Great Depression in poverty as one of 5 boys made the Air Force an easier choice. Both his parents were deaf and did not speak. Dad was fluent in sign language.

He had told me that when he was a boy in St. Catharines (he was born in Windsor in 1932) that there was a parade at the end of WWII with some of the airplanes.

He was really “lit up” by seeing the parade.

That is probably what helped him tip to the side of joining the Royal Canadian Air Force.

He went through officer and flight training and became a navigation officer.

We were stationed at various bases during my childhood, beginning in Winnipeg.

Then a brief stint in Germany while dad was in England getting set up for our arrival.

We then lived in England for 2 years, then in Ottawa, Canada for 4 years.

Dad taught advanced long range navigation to RAF navigation officers while we were in England.

After that, we moved to a small town in southern Ontario with one of Canada’s largest Air Force bases — Trenton.

While in Trenton, he started training and flying Hercules transport aircraft.

He was one of the commanding officers of SAR (search and rescue) and also ran many diplomatic missions. He was a Major by this time.

Unfortunately for me however, this was also when he was away from home a great deal.

As a teenager, I didn’t understand how difficult it must have been for him to be away so much.

Not to mention the high stress of his job.

But he was doing it to take care of his family. And in every other way, we were lacking for nothing.

My parents never showered us with toys, but we certainly weren’t short on them, either. We always had abundant clothing for all seasons in good repair (my mum also sewed some of our clothes) any necessary education including music, travel and museums.

He really wanted me to be a doctor because as he said, “doctors help people. What’s the point of anything if you don’t help others?”

I didn’t know that I particularly wanted to be a doctor. Until I was 14 or 15 I thought I wanted to be a pro hockey player in the NHL like my cousin Stewart.

That dream morphed into being a musician by the time I was 15 or 16.

Besides sports, arts and literature came easy for me. I could often get an A plus without even doing my homework. And when I had to do English homework it didn’t feel so much like work — unlike math or sciences. I did well in them too, but only if I did the homework. And it felt like drudgery to me.

By high school I already was fairly accomplished as a musician. But then I began to think of it as a possible career.

With his not being home as much, my transition was more of an out and out rebellion.

We butted heads for a while and I ended up running away from home at age 17 in the middle of a snow blizzard.

I hopped a bus to Toronto, Canada’s target city 2 hours west along the Lake Ontario shoreline.

Unbeknownst to me, my dad and mum got in their car and raced after the bus as soon as they found out I’d run away.

They couldn’t catch me.

Within a few months, I started to reach out to my family (starting with my grandparents) and mend bridges.

I started visiting dad and mum several times each year. My two younger sisters still lived there.

By the time I was in my early twenties, everything was pretty good between us. All was forgiven. Lots of warmth and love.

As I got older, it just got better and better.

I still had my own personal issues to go through in life, but my relationship with my dad got closer as the years went by.

Note: My father and I had bonded very strongly when I was a baby. Through my childhood, I was my father’s shadow and “little helper” dressing like him and following him around.

He wasn’t necessarily like father’s of younger generations, but I could definitely feel his pride and love for me.

The past 15 years in particular I always felt a very warm glow in my heart whenever I thought of my dad, or visited with him.

Canadian Snowbirds

Later on, I didn’t get to spend as much time visiting with my parents as I would’ve liked for many reasons.

Life as a self employed musician in Toronto is busy. My parents had also been spending winters at a retirement community in Florida for many years. Canadian Snowbirds.

Note: One of the “perks” of my dad’s service to his country (he rescued a lot of people out of danger and flew over hostile countries in order to deliver medical supplies, etc.).was that he retired at age 45.

He worked another 5 years for the Air Force flying a “desk” on a contract.

This gave him plenty of time to pursue another of his passions, golf.

Golf

My dad was an excellent golfer. So good, in fact, that in Florida he became the “golf pro” for the golf course at the community. It was a volunteer position, of course. He would also collect golf balls when back in Belleville, Canada for the summers and auction them off back in Florida to raise money for maintaining the golf course.

Update: I just found out that a few of his students in the Belleville, ON area who my dad had taught in the summers had gone on to become professional level golfers.

He apparently touched a lot of people’s lives down there. People were really gushing about my dad and how much he shone a little light into their lives.

The man who is going to be taking over his role as “golf teacher” called my mum from Newfoundland this week (where he lives in summer) and said my dad was an incredible mentor to him.

He also said that my dad always talked about my mother when he was giving golf lessons. He often said how she was the light in his life.

This was one of the things my dad could surprise you with. He had many accomplishments — including a few hole-in-ones — but although he could be quite chatty, he rarely talked about his good deeds or accomplishments.

Ballroom Dancing

As a matter of fact, it was only at our recent visit for Canadian Thanksgiving that it came out that my dad was an excellent dancer. Ballroom styles. He had taken lessons since his youth and loved it. He and my mother went often to the officer’s mess until they were in their early thirties or so.

My Dad Is Proud Of My Music

One time visiting my parents, I mentioned going golfing with him and he was genuinely concerned about any damage to my hands for playing guitar.

Another time, Van Halen had played a concert in Toronto and my dad always read the Toronto Star.

He asked me if I knew the band. There was an interview with Eddie Van Halen (if you didn’t know, many consider him one of the “great” rock guitar players).

I said, “yes. He’s one of the great rock players. Very innovative.”

And my dad very sincerely said, “too bad they’ve never heard you play. You’re probably even better.” My dad doesn’t talk like that in general, if at all. 

I’m not going to weigh in on that, because anyone who knows me knows that I see through all that “best guitarist” nonsense, there’s no best or better. Although everyone, myself included, has their favourites. And by the way, Van Halen was one of many inspirations on guitar when I was younger.

In my view, there have been many wonderful musicians walking on this planet at various times. Some well known, some not. I encountered and jammed with a few geniuses in my youth — and I know you’ve never heard of them. One of them I know of now has a day job in banking. Another is living quietly in Trenton.

Music is a field of human endeavour and talent. We can all tap into it not only to various depths, but in different places and different ways.

There is only mastery. And even that is dynamic. Fame isn’t always in the equation.

My point is that it was an amazing and genuine compliment from my dad. A man who did not give compliments lightly. A compliment from my dad really meant a lot.

It said, “I love you, son. I’m proud of you.” What more can a son ask?

The Emperor

Mary did a one card tarot card reading for me the evening my dad passed.

It was The Emperor card. Her interpretation was that I am now healing and integrating all the masculine qualities within myself.

My father’s legacy will live and breathe through me.

I agree. I feel like my dad was an Emperor. He was definitely a guiding light for me here on earth.

And I feel like that Emperor power has been awakened within myself.

I truly feel a new power. I definitely don’t care what people think.

A lot of people say that, but I think in most of those cases, it’s more like a “middle finger in the air” kind of not caring.

Which of course, is actually caring.

I mean absolute freedom from wanting approval.

There are probably still some layers of that laying around in my subconscious that will come up, but I know I’ll be able to dissolve them quickly.

Proof Of Heaven

My sister Cathy had read a book last year called “Proof of Heaven” by Dr. Eben Alexander a neurosurgeon.

Dr. Alexander had been brain dead for 7 days and was definitely an agnostic with a scientific worldview beforehand.

He experienced an incredible journey while in the coma and wrote this book about it. 

He is in a unique position to look at the context and understand it from the standpoint of how the brain works.

In his now revamped view, he was in heavenly realms with Angels and God (who he calls OM).

My sister had discussed the book with my dad. 

Reading the book is helping me feel closer to my dad — even though spiritually speaking, I never doubt his presence close to me.


Note: I haven’t yet finished the book! I just seem to have been in a place in my life for about a year now where I’m not seeking. I know who I am in every meaning of that. It’s just growing deeper and integrating. I’d rather sit and just be and FEEL the answers than read any more books. 

I at least don’t feel like I need a book to convince my left brain that there is a world beyond the one presented by our senses. I’m fairly established with that in my own intuitive knowing.

No, I’m not lazy to read. I was a voracious reader as a child and young adult. It even led to my being skipped ahead one year in school.


But it’s also still hard. It’s taking time for my body to catch up to my mind and spirit.

I love my dad so freakin” much! In my eyes, and the eyes of many other people, he was a great man. A beautiful person. He left a wonderful legacy that I will honour with every ounce of courage and Love I can muster.

Thank you, dad. I will see you in heaven. We’ll go golfing and shoot the breeze.

Manifesting Abundance For The Frustrated

Are you hit and miss when it comes to manifesting abundance? Join the club! I’ve been there.

In this article I’m going to guide you to a deeper understanding of not only what the principles of manifesting abundance are, but how and why they work.

Hopefully by the time you finish this article, you’ll have a much deeper understanding of how to attract abundance.

Manifesting Abundance

The Magician archetype from tarot is a great image to describe manifesting.

What Is Abundance To You?

This is quite a vast subject which is why I’ll be writing several articles around this.  

For example, what IS abundance? We have the version society teaches us. Some money and a bit of fame. But that seems quite a narrow definition. Do we really have to sacrifice our mental and physical health, relationships, spiritual realizations, etc.? 

I’m putting this forward because if we’ve thought deeply about what abundance means for us, then we have a much better chance of experiencing it in our reality. 

So for now, until I write a more in depth article about what abundance is, ask yourself this question. Reflect upon it. It’s not what your parent’s version is, or your spouses, or society’s. It’s your version of abundance.

Takeaway:

If you can have a deeper understanding of how and why attracting abundance works, you can more successfully eliminate the deep rooted doubts that are getting in your way.

I mean, let’s face it. Most manifesting abundance principles are counter to the way we’ve been taught. 

That’s why we can often manifest something small but then other things can seem so elusive.

Before Beginning The Manifesting Process (This Is The Most Important Part That Everybody Overlooks)

We’re in such a hurry to get to what we want, we forget that life only ever happens in the present moment.

When we have a desire to improve ourselves or our lives in some way, we are also telling the universe that we are not  enough and we don’t have enough.

The universe receives this “energetic imprint” and says “ok. Here is more lack and poverty for you!” And oftentimes,  abundance and success is right in front of us in some form but we’re missing it.

So, how do we get around this obstacle when manifesting what we desire?

We release our resistance to “what is” in the present moment. We find the happiness and abundance in what we have RIGHT NOW.

This is also why Gratitude is so often encouraged as a key to manifesting abundance.

When we can find gratitude for the way our life situation is right now, we have much more power available to assist us in creating more of what we want.

Please don’t gloss over this very important point because it is the key that sparks the ignition.

And if you’ve ever practiced gratitude before, you’ll know that it cannot be forced. It must be genuinely felt in your heart.

 The 4 Simple Steps To Manifesting Abundance

  • Set an intention or goal.  Always be open to something even better. This relates to surrendering the outcome to higher forces of Intelligence (number 3 on this list).

  • Take your best shot (action in the world required)

  • Let go of the outcome (Could you imagine that you don’t care?) 

  • check

    Evaluate the results. Rinse and repeat the above. 

That’s it! These steps are nothing new. For example, they are part of the core teachings of the classic spiritual text from India called the Bhagavad Gita. This looks easy on paper, but requires more than an intellectual understanding. Continue reading below for ways to raise your energy in order to manifest abundance and true success.

Raise Your Vibration

People say this a lot. I think in plain language, it simply means to work on not being pulled into negativity. Engaging in this practice of manifesting abundance will automatically raise your vibration because you learn about yourself and your relationship to Life.

Manifesting Abundance Teaches You About Yourself

This is another secret. The law of attraction (as it is commonly known these days) is actually the law of life itself.

Thought can only create. In fact, there is so much to this vast topic, that I will be writing about it for a very long time!

To really understand how to manifest what you desire is to understand the very truth of your being and reality.

Even though I love to go deep, in this article I want to get you up and running in ways that will help you.

As you practice, you will automatically begin to receive instructions from your inner teacher (in-tuition).

As a matter of fact, this article is a mirror of your own inner teacher.

To really understand how to manifest what you desire is to understand the very truth of your deepest being and Reality.



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Final Suggestions And Wrap Up...

Don’t think too much. The more you try and figure it out, the more you’re stepping on the brakes. I told you it was counter to the way we’ve been taught, didn’t I?

We’re told we must have it all “figured out.”

As you go through this process in your life, you will encounter many layers of resistance coming up.

When this struggle happens, relax your shoulders and breathe as best you can.

Remind yourself this is spiritual progress. More of the real you is breaking through the cocoon of social programming.

If something you’ve been trying to manifest fails or doesn’t seem to happen, it’s not because of your karma. You are not being punished.

Remind yourself (your surface personality) that there is a deeper wiser part of you below the surface that always has your best interest at heart.

I’ve been around long enough to have “failed” or been rejected many times. Guess what? I’m still here, wiser and stronger than before.

In all those cases, I actually see now that I “dodged a bullet” — and I’ve actually always only get what I’ve wanted.

This may be difficult for some of you to understand, however it is my hope that you will one day see the truth of this.

Wishing you success and all your true desires to come true.

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