Love 24/7: Behind The Story And Music Of This Uplifting Song

Love 24/7 started as a melody that was haunting me. I would hear it in my head all the time.

I then did the most common sense thing and started fooling around on the piano and guitar in order to realize the melody.

In it’s raw form, “Love 24/7” probably didn’t sound like much — and I had doubts.

But something kept drawing me back to it — it wouldn’t let me go.

The most challenging thing (as is mostly the case) was coming up with lyrics that were relevant, poetic and rhythmically fit the melody. 

That part took me some time until I finally settled on the idea of a new “service” in town that offered support 24/7.

That service of course, was Love.

It was partly inspired by a certain client that Mary was working with.

This client was always complaining about how bad their childhood was and how it was now holding them back.

But this person also had a lot going for them —including financial stability, abundance and decent health — that they seemed to constantly overlook.

I also thought “man, a lot of people, myself included have been through “stuff.” In my case I was a homeless runaway at 17. I somehow managed to build some success with my life but then lost everything at 28 ( and spiralled into depression and alcoholism for 6 years. I then had some tough work waiting for me in order to start spiralling upwards.

Mary has been through even worse in other ways.

And I thought “how were we able to turn things around? Are we special? Do we somehow have a different nervous system?” I know for myself, the first step was to acknowledge my responsibility in things and stop playing the victim.

And no, this is not to pass judgement on anyone who is struggling!

On the contrary, I hope it provides hope and inspiration. Even though it seems (it is!) like a different lifetime when I used to feel hopeless and utterly lost, if this can inspire one person to take up the challenge of choosing to Love themselves, then my mission is accomplished.

 

The Music Behind “Love 24/7”

As always, I played the instruments and did all the vocals here in my very modest home studio.


Note: I currently play the bass in real time using my keyboard. I’m dreaming about a real bass guitar — even though it will probably be right handed. I have yet to see a left handed bass except for Sir Paul McCartney’s. I’m pretty sure I can handle playing it the other way around. I have some experience jamming like that — and I think I can learn to play grooving and musical bass lines with a right handed bass.


I then started sending mixes to Gary Gray in LA. He would get back to me with suggestions about what I could do to bring the level of production higher.

This went back and forth so many times I can’t tell you! At one point, I was like “I can’t take any more red marks on my song!!” LOL

However, I sucked it up, let go of the frustration, and kept chipping away until I finally crossed the finish line.

Gary then brought in Kristen LaRoche to play the drum parts live in a studio in Orange County.

The next stage of course, was the mastering which was done by Gary. He also added some subtle strings which sound incredible!

Enjoy the song. If you are uplifted by it, please share it!

Other Songs

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

Butterfly

Songs By Davidson Yeager

Are You Willing To Let Go Of Pain And Sorrow?

Are you willing to let go? A lot of people these days are saying “let it go” or similar pieces of advice. It’s brilliant! And while I’m happy that more people are getting hip to this fundamental skill, there are still many places and ways that we get stuck.

Many people wonder “ok, but HOW do I let go of (that hurtful and disappointing or even traumatic event)?

I can’t promise you it’s easy — because our minds want to maintain the illusion of being separate from the All — but I can promise you that it is entirely possible and requires no special abilities.

Ok, sounds good. I’m willing to let go, but…

 

How Do You Let Go?

While a cursory look may reveal that “you” are a separate being (“I’m” here, in my body, everybody and everything else is “outside”) if we are willing to look a little deeper, we may discover that it’s not true in any absolute sense.

Once you steal even a glimpse of what you truly are — unlimited Beingness pretending to be limited — you are on your way.

Easier said than done, though. There are many conditioned patterns in place that will soon depress the exhilaration you may have felt with this peak experience — when the mind temporarily subsided.

And then you succumb to the games of the mind again. You may write your experience off as unimportant or an illusion of the brain and nervous system.

You forget the deep insights you had. That’s because those insights were from beyond the mind. This is where letting go comes in as a serious practice.

Every time you let something go, you are dissolving a layer of egoic consciousness. There are many many layers of this conditioned consciousness — much of it buried in the “subconscious.”

The less egoic consciousness you have, the more Light of your true Beingness can shine through and illuminate your world.

Egoic consciousness is the “dark stuff” that can come over you when you least expect it. Something someone says or doesn’t say, something that happens or doesn’t happen, triggers it.

In other words, expectations weren’t met.

 

Expectations Are A Lack Of Innocence

However, times when you are triggered, as painful as they may be, are also golden opportunities to let go. Your mind will be telling you otherwise, of course.

Your mind will be projecting it’s problems onto the person or situation as being the cause (and painting you as a victim.)

It will be very seductive in trying to get you to buy in to this storyline. This will feed the cycle of pain you are feeling even more.

BUT, if you are fortunate enough to have come across the fundamental life skill of letting go, you will be able to make a choice.

Note: I’m not talking about serious trauma or working through grief after loss. However, if you’re still grieving long after the fact, you may want to consider that you’re stuck in a pattern. There are also some Yoga schools (such as YogaFit) that are currently having success working with people who have PTSD.

 

 Letting Go Is A Choice

You will have to choose between negativity/limitation and freedom/Love. It’s THAT simple.

Would you rather be “right” and “vindicated” with your limited feelings or would you rather be free?

If you’ve never consciously let go before, you may believe that you don’t have a choice.

But if you are truly fed up with the repetitive and reactive, defensive patterns of your life in relationships, etc. you will perhaps see a glimmer of truth.

As a musician, I’ve faced more than my fair share of disappointment. I’ve experienced rejection or flat out being ignored when I’ve poured my heart, soul and skills into a project or idea.

This disappointment wouldn’t happen if I weren’t so attached to the outcome. Having expectations is a mechanical action.

Having no expectations, the mind is fresh and innocent.

Having no expectations is NOT another “should.” This is something you need to find out for yourself through your own life experiences.

If I put my creative work out there and the specific results I was hoping for don’t happen, I react and feel discouraged. Ok. Fine. 

This need for approval and validation can be a bottomless pit if we lack the awareness and tools to help us! 

But as soon as I become present and notice that I’m reacting, I start to observe the discouragement in action.

I see how I’ve been looking for happiness where it does not exist (in the world) instead of where it does exist (within me).

 

Some Powerful Tools To Help You Let Go

There are many powerful tools to let go. The one I love the best that works for me is called the Sedona Method.

Note: I’m not an affiliate with The Sedona Method (I won’t get any money if you click on the link and decide to purchase one of their programs) — just want to share this powerful tool for letting go with others who may resonate with it.

I’ve been using it daily since 2005, and I’m continually amazed at how it consistently helps me turn my mind around into a courageous and empowered state.

It’s a meditative tool of self inquiry that’s designed to turn the mind back around in the right direction. And it’s deceptively simple to use.

Typical Example: Are you feeling jealous comparing your life to someone else? The first step is to be present and realize that your mind has gotten turned around the wrong way!

Using a tool like the Sedona Method can help turn it back around quite quickly. You’ll actually be happy for that persons success! This is a great feeling of freedom. And you’ve dissolved a chunk of  egoic consciousness while you’re at it — never again to return, I might add. Although there are layers upon layers upon layers…

Even recognizing when your mind is holding on is a major accomplishment in awareness. Presence and awareness comes with practice and the alchemy of self transformation.

There are some other tools-for-letting-go I’ve heard great things about. There’s one called “tapping” that I’ve never tried (I’ve already got a way that works for me) but it may work for you!

Many people have found success with A Course In Miracles.

And of course the breath is always a key tool whenever we feel anxious or upset.

 

No “Letting Go Tool” Will Work If…

No tool for letting go will work if you’re not willing to let go. It’s hard enough sometimes with sticky issues even when you’re willing!

There’s a parable from the East about this…

The student asks the master, “what do I need to do in order to be enlightened?” The master takes the student to the lake and holds the student’s head under the water for a while. Finally he lets him back up and the student is gasping for air.

The master says “when you want freedom just as much as you wanted air right now, you’ll be well on your way to enlightenment!”

The is a dramatic example. We don’t need to be ascetics or abstain from the world. On the contrary, the world provides us with the challenges we need to grow.

However, the key is in really wanting to be free. That’s really what this story is illustrating. Wanting freedom is always on your mind 24/7. Even in the midst of intense action engaging with the world. If you can do that, you will get lighter and discover more true happiness every day.

Are You Willing To Let Go?

1. Use a tool that works for you. Some examples of tools that can help:

The Sedona Method

A Course In Miracles

Mindfulness and Breath

Yoga And Meditation

The Work by Byron Katie

Tapping (emotional freedom technique)

Listening to or reading Master Teachers like Eckhart Tolle

2. The tool will only work as well as the strength of your desire to be free and your understanding that it’s a choice. In other words, are you willing to let go?

Further Reading

What Is Holding You Back From What You Want Out Of Life?

The Goal Of Meditation

Let Go And Let God part 1

Let Go And Let God part 2

Let Go And Let God part 3

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Launching My YouTube Channel Soon And Facing Fear

I’ve been deeply involved with music for most of my life. And according to an astrology report based on my past lives, I’ve been a musician several times before.

You’re probably thinking “so, what’s your point?” And depending on your mental models of the world, you may even be thinking “astrology? Seriously?  Past lives? What?!”

Don’t worry. This article is not about astrology. Maybe in the future. I’m not an astrologer but in my experience, it’s quite a profound tool for self understanding. Even enneagrams (from Sufism) are being accepted into mainstream psychology and the corporate world. I’m simply more familiar with astrology.

And even though I believe (and perceive) that consciousness transcends death of the physical body, I still face my own mortality most days. This inspires me to use my talents and abilities the best I can every day.

I feel like I really have something to say. And if I don’t say it now, I may not get another chance.

sidenote: It’s a paradox to believe in reincarnation but to also be present in the moment. It can be pretty amazing when the veil lifts and the infinite reveals itself to be right here right now.

I’m on a mission to express my soul.

 

What Is Success?

Success to me is being able to express my true and authentic self. My soul. This includes my musical abilities as a singer, songwriter and guitarist.

BUT and this is a part of the struggle I’ve been facing. I also have another part of myself that yearns expression. I’ve been a “mystic” since I can remember. As far back as I can remember  the presence of a mysterious and formless Higher Power has been self evident to me.

Many strange experiences since childhood and I’ve now been seriously practicing a meditative and spiritual path for many years.

I finally realize it’s time to stop thinking about how to blend these 2 voices and just simply start doing it.

 

My Essential Strategy And Main Point Of This Article

My essential strategy for 2018 is to build my fanbase. I intend to do it with YouTube. I’m a bit scared but my excitement and passion are bigger than my fear right now.

I look at my YouTube channel and see my numbers and I think “man, that’s pathetic!” I have like 20 views or something like that on videos.

I should have many more than that! Not because anyone owes me anything or I think I’m “God’s gift.” I’m saying this to myself. “Dude! You should do something about your YouTube channel!”

So far I’ve only used YouTube as a repository to hold my videos so I can share them with you — my subscribers or anyone who happens by my website.

The numbers are pretty low and I really really want to take action on changing that. At least as much as I possibly can.

Will I succeed? Who knows. But I should be able to at least grow my fanbase to larger than it currently is. So I think that makes it well worth the effort and risk.

 

Launching My YouTube Channel

Yes. I already have a YouTube channel. But I’ve never truly “launched” it before. And I’ve certainly never committed to regular video uploading.

This is what I intend to do. I’m going to come up with a schedule that is realistic. Something along the lines of one upload per week along with one blog post per week.

My content will consist of my original songs since that is my main goal. I want more people to be aware of my songs so that hopefully more people can benefit from the inspiration, beauty and entertainment that they perceive in them.

And songwriting is really the reason why I do what I do at the end of the day. For me, there’s nothing like having an idea in your heart and mind and then bringing it to life.

I’ll also do my best to do a new blog post like this once a week or so. We’ll have to see how the scheduling goes because I’m already so busy writing, practicing, learning and upgrading skills, teaching students, etc.

I may need to cut back on how much social media interaction I do from my Instagram channel. I usually do this in the mornings — but I’ll probably cut back to 2 or 3 days weekly so I can blog and create video content.

 

Cover Songs

Since not very many people have heard of me, and the Internet world’s a pretty big and noisy place, I’ll need to do some cover songs so that people will find me on YouTube.

Here’s where it gets tricky. I have made a list of cover songs that I think I would enjoy doing a version of, but I don’t want to paint myself into a corner and wander off track from my original music.

However, I think I’ll have fun doing some covers. Mostly just guitar and voice so it should be fun and challenging to make them come to life in an interesting and cool way.

 

Guitar Instrumentals

I spend a fair amount of time playing my guitar (not as much as you may think since I need to spend time singing and keeping my voice strong as well as writing music and lyrics. Not to mention maintaining some basic chops on the piano). So I’ll probably do videos where I just play guitar. Acoustic and electric.

 

Behind The Scenes

There’s not much going on behind the scenes here, but if I think of something I’ll share it. Perhaps something I’m working on, new lyrics, how I work, etc. A few videos of this nature.

 

My Story

I’ll definitely share my thoughts. I can’t make music videos all the time — they tend to take a fair amount of preparation.

I think deeply a lot about life, who we are, mystical experiences…some call it “woo.” I find the term derogatory and arrogant since the fact that we exist at all is ALREADY pretty “woo” don’t you think?

That said, I do respect the beliefs of others. I believe very strongly that Love (understanding, empathy and sanity — not sentimentality) is the answer. We all have mental models of the world. Some of us don’t realize that we do, however.

So I’ll make videos about “woo” and how to overcome challenges, never give up, etc. They may also include books I’m reading that I’m excited to share.

I’ll probably write about spirituality and “grounded transcendence” in my blog as well.

 

Then What?

If I can grow a fanbase around my music this year, I’ll be thrilled to say the least! I don’t know what then, but hopefully many more possibilities will  open up to me that aren’t open to me right now.

I’ve come to realize it’s not so much about how good your music is as much as it is the experience of connection it provides for people.

Although for myself as an artist, I derive my own sense of satisfaction through creating something that reaches up to my own standards of what I want to hear. I also believe there’s a certain energetic “fingerprint” that gets encoded to the music. But that’s for another article on another day.

Although the past year has been a success filled year in many ways (and for which I’m incredibly grateful) hopefully my music will resonate with more even people this year!

Maybe I can even manage to outsource some of the recording responsibilities. When I do ALL the recording myself it takes a tremendous amount of time.

That way I can focus more on creating new music and other value filled content.

 

My Purpose

Another deeper and more soulful purpose with this mission helps to fuel me is this: I hope my story and journey will inspire others to do the same with whatever their mission is.

I really want to do my part in my little corner of the world to make the world a better place. By “better place” I don’t mean some kind of utopia like the one John Lennon sang about in Imagine.

Although I’m idealistic as well, I’m more of what you could call a pragmatic idealist.

My wish is to simply bring more sanity into the world.

If my sparks can help spark someone else, then I’ve done my job. Let’s bring more sanity in and eliminate more of the madness that seems to surround us. That’s our task right now.

Bigg Luv,

Dave

 

Further Reading

Once A Musician Always A Musician

Why Am I A Spiritual Teacher?

What Is Success?

Practicing Persistence

Why Do I Do It?

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What Is Holding You Back From What You Want Out Of Life?

What is holding you back from what you want out of life? Recently I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions. The kind of questions that have the potential to bring new information to light and reorganize our minds. “What do I really want of life?” has been the main one. “Who or what am I?” are ongoing for me as part of my spiritual practice.

Often our minds have a state of inertia to new information, however. Our ego wants to keep us safe in our comfort zone and will resist taking in new information that has the potential to change our lives.

By the way, my song Butterfly is about this idea of transformation after a struggle.

 

What Do You Want Out Of Life? Looking Within For Answers

Questions such as “what is life? What do I want out of life? What actions can I take? Is there anything I need to learn? Is there anything I’m not looking at? etc.” can be helpful in getting answers.

The trick is we need to be listening when the answers come on cue. And they do. But we have to be willing to listen.

Recently, a few people have randomly said something along the lines of “when you’re famous” to me when talking about my music.

I didn’t pay any attention to it at first. Here’s why…

Being on a path of personal and spiritual growth I made a decision many years ago that fame was “bad.” Not to mention observing so many celebrities having huge issues and falls from grace.

I thought fame was a dangerous thing (perhaps it is — but that’s for another discussion). Many years ago, when I was aligned with that kind of  thinking, I got into trouble with alcohol etc. I was very active in bands and although this was because I was a serious and dedicated musician, I also based my sense of self worth on how well my band did. I wanted notoriety — and actually had some here in Toronto’s club scene with one of my bands starting to build a small and loyal following.

Energy Vampires

sidenote: It turned out that my co founder in that band was an “energy vampire” and I eventually realized I had to walk away. The gift in that was that I realized I truly wanted to be a solo artist. As a highly empathic person it took me a while to understand learn that there are people who truly do not have your best interests in mind.

But because of what people said to me (about being famous) recently, I reviewed my feelings about fame. I discovered it was probably better to have an open mind to the possibility. Especially since on a conscious level I’ve been doing my best to find the people who would appreciate my music and be uplifted by it.

 

Everybody Wants To Rule The World…

If I’m pushing away fame, I may inadvertently be blocking the flow of energy I need to get my music and message out in front of people.

I realized with all the reflection and self inquiry I’ve done in my life — along with the experience I’ve gathered — that I’m now far less vulnerable to either criticism or flattery (I’m not perfect — I DO certainly prefer compliments, but it doesn’t make me overly excited. It’s more like “Cool. That’s very nice to hear”).

It suddenly struck me that fame being dangerous was nothing more than an unexamined belief. Fame is like anything else. It’s neither “good” nor “bad.” There’s no need to label it. There’s enough polarization going on in our world as it is! I don’t have to agree with your opinions — or even like you, for that matter — in order to Love you as a part of the tapestry of Life.

Besides, I have a theory that eventually fame won’t be something that exists anymore. Everyone will be so connected and a vast number of talented people will be heard in various ways. It’s already well on it’s way now.

I don’t need fame to own my own sense of natural self esteem — the kind where I don’t feel above or below anyone. Even thought we’ve been taught since any of us can remember about the “pecking order” in our society.

I don’t need fame to prove myself to anyone, although that might be a little gravy to add to the pie where any naysayers are concerned!

 

What Are You Afraid Of That Just Might Be Holding You Back?

But I’m no longer afraid of it. Wanting to hide our light for fear of others disapproving of us is an almost universal plight. I’ve been struggling with it my whole life, but I think I’m beginning to see results and feeling much more freedom!

I’m not saying that “fame” will happen for me. I honestly don’t think it’s a realistic possibility as I’m not very aligned with mainstream media. But the subconscious fear of fame is no longer blocking my energy, beliefs or actions.

Why all this talk about fame? I’m a musician and speaker. The more people know about me, the more impact my message has. And this means I can spend even more time and energy focusing on creating this message via my music, writing and talks.

As I said, I’m fairly confident that fame in my case would definitely not be celebrity status. That’s fine as that is not what I truly want. What I want is more like that 1,000 true fans type of ideal. I’d like to be able to continue life normally while making my authentic contributions.

Like a successful self-help book author whom you may not recognize on the street type of thing (unless you were their fan). That would be really nice.

If not, I will continue learning, growing and making the best music I can. Writing the best articles I can.

Loving the people in my life to the best of my ability. And above all, being grateful for what is here now in the present moment.

What about you? What do you want out of life?

Read More Articles Like This

Being An Artist In A Fast Changing World

Once A Musician Always A Musician

What Is Success?

Why Do I Do It?

Practicing Persistence

Butterfly: A Soothing Song About The Transformative Power Of Love

Butterfly soothing song
Artwork by Mary

Butterfly is a soothing song is about how my relationship with my wife Mary has transformed me.

After the honeymoon brain chemicals wear off, we have a choice to explore love. To be creative with learning about love.

Luckily for me, Mary’s on the same page.

Sometimes we don’t agree. And sometimes these can trigger sensitive issues from the past. We need to be careful with these situations. I look at these disagreements as opportunities to release suppressed energy from the past.

The trick is to stay alert while you feel these intense feelings. It’s usually a feeling of wanting to control (or be out of control). But because you love the other person and you want to grow, you do your best to let go. Breathe. Listen.

And when it’s appropriate to get some time on your own, you can use specific spiritual tools or methods to get in touch with your core essence of Love. Things will usually shift right away.

Of course, a little arguing is like rain. It’s healthy.  It can clear the air. But too much causes a lot of serious damage!

 

 

Butterfly: A Soothing Song

The other fantastic thing I’ve discovered is that the more I transform negativity within myself, the more Mary is willing to listen to what I want.

So I’m also practicing and learning to actually listen to her. Understand her. Without needing to be “right.”

This creates space for Love and Creativity to enter. To heal. I am able to love unconditionally at a much higher level now than I ever could in the past.

If my heart does close out of fear, I’m able to open it up again relatively quickly. Thanks to my muse and honey, Mary! 🙂

It’s a really incredible journey we are taking together!

So that’s what the song is about. I like to say Butterfly is a soothing song.

 

How “Butterfly” Came To Be Produced

As usual, I wrote the song and proceeded to record it. I played and sang all the parts in my home studio.

I then mixed the song to the best of my ability. I’m getting pretty decent at mixing, but I wouldn’t call myself a world class mixing engineer. But I’m pretty good.

My friend and mentor Gary Gray has helped me a great deal with my mixing skills by giving me feedback on my work.

I then apply his suggestions until the mix is ready.

 

Now The Story Gets Interesting!

I had actually forgotten about the song for a couple of years. I write a fair amount of songs, so I’d already moved on.

Butterfly sat on the shelf.

One day, Mary was filming in her office looking for fairies. She’s really into the whole realm of Nature Spirits.

They show up as orbs and dancing lights. Dusk is the easiest time to see them. If they show themselves.

I wasn’t sure about them before, but I’m a believer now. I’ve felt their presence and seen them too many times now.

The film Mary took that evening was the first time I’d seen them.

And she was playing my unmastered version of Butterfly while she filmed!

I was listening and thinking to myself “wow! It’s a better song than I remembered. Hmm…”

 

Enter Magic…

Around the time of this fairy filming experience, I was notified that I was a finalist in an international song competition I’d entered.

I’d won a prize of $2500.00 worth of mixing and mastering. Help from the fairies? Perhaps it was. I can definitely use all the help I can get! 🙂

The studio I used was Gary’s. He’s worked with a lot of very talented people down in Los Angeles, so I feel very grateful to have his input on my song.

That’s how I got Butterfly mastered. That’s the version you hear now.

Gary’s partner, Kristen LaRoche is a rock solid and very talented drummer. She played live drums in Gary’s studio to replace my drum programming.

 

What Is Mastering?

Mastering is bringing the sound to a certain standard. The song could be played beside anything you hear on the radio.

This requires a great deal of technical expertise which I don’t possess!

It basically has to do with the loudness, punch and shine of the music.

There are people who will do it for you on the internet for a cheap price — but the results are not at all impressive.

Major artists will typically be very selective about their mastering engineer. I’ve read that Canadian artists Rush will personally go to New York to a mastering engineer there.

Mastering is the final stage of production. But it’s no less important than the original songwriting, performances in the studio and mixing.

Here’s The Video Where You Can See Fairies And Orbs

Important Note: The music gets really distorted for some reason at a couple of places. But I thought the video is still interesting and decided it was worth posting. This is the unmastered version of Butterfly with my “drumming” (played on keyboard).

The 2nd song is my song “Whispers In The Wind.” I recorded that several years ago when I was first learning to record my own projects at home. I will quite possibly re do this song again in the future. I think it has good potential.

Butterfly Lyrics copyright Davidson Yeager

Butterfly before I found you I was on the run

Butterfly I knew a change had to come

Butterfly I left the past behind and I reached for the Golden Sun

Butterfly somthin’ in me had to die for you to come my way

And I went down so many dead end roads lookin’ for you

Now that I found you I don’t want to go oh no

Butterfly you dry the tears from my eyes

Butterfly no clouds in my sky

Butterfly you bring the world on a string

Butterfly let’s dance and sing!

Butterfly now that you’re with me my heart it sings so free

Butterfly you’ve opened up my eyes I see through this world’s thin disguise

Butterfly on the day I die you and I will continue to fly

‘Cos my Butterfly Destiny. Dance partners under the sun.

ooh I went down so many dead end roads lookin’ for you

Now that I found you I don’t want to go oh no

Butterfly you dry the tears from my eyes

Butterfly no clouds in my sky

Butterfly you bring the world on a string

Butterfly let’s dance and sing!

Now that I’ve found out where I’d hidden my pot of gold

It wasn’t at the end of the rainbow

It was with me all of the time, Butterfly

Butterfly you dry the tears from my eyes

Butterfly no clouds in my sky

Butterfly you bring the world on a string

Butterfly let’s dance and sing!

Thanks for reading 🙂 If you enjoyed the song and this article please share it with friends.

Back to Songs By Davidson Yeager

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Once A Musician Always A Musician

If you’ve been following my posts you’ll know that I’ve been going through a metamorphosis of sorts.

Like when the caterpillar feels the itch to allow the butterfly to emerge.

All you can do is surrender. Well, you don’t have to — but it makes it much easier.

For the first few weeks of 2016 I didn’t touch my guitar unless I was teaching.

I sang around the house when moved to sing a song, but did no vocal exercises (singing is a muscle).

I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t fall into the pattern of thinking I really had to do something with my music.

I mean, commercially. You know, make money from it.

Because for me, it’s just not working. The drug is not doing it’s thing.

If you know me, you know that I’m the master of discipline and perseverence. Going after your dream, being courageous and consistent, etc. All that stuff is child’s play for me.

That’s not the issue for me. It was coming to the realization that it’s just not what I want anymore.

 

Sometimes Dreams Change

It’s like suddenly realizing the shoes you’re wearing are too tight.

Or the person you’re “in love” with is just not loving you back, man! Get over it. Walk away. Move on.

Know what I mean? The wisdom to know the difference.

So it’s been interesting and disorienting at times waiting and allowing the “butterfly” to emerge from the caterpillar.

I’m getting glimpses.

And I’m now practicing a bit. 4 or 5 days a week is all I’m allowed. No more than 20 minutes on guitar and about 40 minutes of singing each day.

Just bare minimum to keep in shape.

And have fun. No commercial agenda. No putting pressure on myself.

 

What I’ve Been Up To In The Meantime

Previously I also talked about how I enjoy the idea of teaching about spiritual tools, techniques and realizations.

Stuff for people who are looking for that.

How to meditate, develop awareness, access intuitive faculties, more creativity, peace of mind, less reactive, more patient, etc.

And of course, to realize God. God being a word or pointer that I’m using in this context. You can use Source, Divine Intelligence, The Tao, etc.

I assume this is going to take some time to develop. I just want to follow the impulse to discuss these things and see where it leads me.

Meanwhile, I still need to earn a living, so…

 

Psychic Impressions

I’m still teaching music lessons privately and enjoying it very much. It’s very rewarding to work with the people I’m working with.

Helping them develop their musical gifts and interests.

I’m also still helping Mary with her Zumba and Yoga businesses however I can. This can be at class when I can make it, or brainstorming with her over coffee in the morning.

I’m also helping Mary with her psychic business. Because I’ve been interested in and studied tarot cards and astrology since my youth, it’s a natural fit.

In the past, I never felt doing readings professionally would be something I could ever do.

But Mary has been doing it since she was a teen. Both because of her gypsy heritage and her natural (and awesome!) gift at it.

She’s been training me over the past 10 years, and I’ve now done hundreds of readings both over the phone and at parties/events.

I really used to resist at doing readings too much in the past because I had a lot of pride in my abilities as a musician.

Not to mention my “guysho” (non gypsy) upbringing making me feel less than authentic.

But now I find I’m enjoying it.

And I can help people with my psychic impressions (how’d I develop that? Born that way plus many years of meditation, working with crystals, Reiki attunements, etc.) intuitive insights and common sense.

By the way, we all receive psychic impressions. It’s really just the developing the ability and confidence to “catch” them.

 

Music

I just want to close out by saying I know that somehow music’s still very much in the picture. I just don’t know how it’s going to fit in with my life yet.

I do have a new song that I’d really love to record. It’s constantly playing in my head and giving me goose bumps. It’s called “Empty Hands.”

As a writer, that’s when you know you’ve written a cool song that will connect with people.

I’ll keep you posted.

Let Go And Let God part 3

Last time I left off, I was telling you about my passion for sharing spiritual insights with people. Inspiring people to empower themselves.

I’ve been going after a career in music for a long time. And I’ve had many ups and downs, adventures and different experiences.

What I’ve come to realize is that I’m not sure if the vision I had was accurate. And what I want. I don’t know if music is the only thing I want.

I don’t know if I want to sacrifice other parts of myself in order to singlemindedly pursue my music ambitions.

Because as much as I have learned quite a bit about successfully tapping into the Law of Attraction (the power of our minds to create) in order for it to work, you need to be in alignment.

That means you need to really want what you want. It has to really speak to you deep down.

It also means that you are in alignment with the forces and structures that exist here on the planet.

 

 

Structures Already In Play

If you know anything about the archetypal wisdom contained within the tarot deck, you’ll know this energy is best described by The Emperor card.

For example, governments, taxes and society are forces that have been set into motion over the course of millennia.

You can’t ignore them. A simple example: If you’re a guy and you want a girlfriend, well society has certain “rules” that are in play.

You can’t just walk up to a gal and expect her to be your girlfriend.

There are certain protocols to follow. Some of them may be influenced by nature, but many of them come from society.

 

In the music business (as in any business if you want to succeed) there are rules and protocols. And that’s where my blockage comes in.

For one thing, since I don’t drink or smoke, I have a slight aversion to late nights in bars. I used to do that all the time and my career was busier, but my life sucked.

Right now I would definitely need to go out an play more gigs in order to create my music dream. Get face to face with more people.

That’s fine, but it’s a lot of work. And I’m not sure I want to do that right now.

As much as I love to play music and perform, I don’t know if I’d enjoy that being my main focus all the time.

Not for the low pay (if any) at the beginning of such a venture. I’ve been there and done that. Several times.

Hiring other musicians, rehearsing, getting people to show up to the show, etc. It’s very hard work.

Of course, this kind of work can lead to getting a team and then an actual paycheck at the end of the night, but not for a while.

I’m not sure I want to be spending that much time away from other things in my life — and when I do succeed? Probably spending large chunks of time away from home and family.

asking life's tough questions
Asking life’s tough questions

Tough Questions

These are the tough questions I’ve been asking myself. Questions like these are tough to ask ourselves because it means coming out of denial in some aspect of our lives.

Everyone has these blind spots. It’s a lot easier to see patterns like this in others than in ourselves.

I’ve been going after this dream for so long that I hadn’t stop to think about what was really involved.

When I was younger, unattached and didn’t care if I lived in a van for a year eating microwaved tacos, I also didn’t have the support, resources or confidence to make it work.

I will say I had the musical talent though.

 

  Oh The Irony!

The irony is, now that I have more resources, more confidence and networking skills, I don’t know that I want to do that.

It’s not just about music anymore. It’s also about Lifestyle Design.

I’m such a different person now than when I thought music was all I wanted. That was a past self.

And the funny thing is, that these New Age/Spiritual and self help type of ideas have been my passion and natural inclination for as long as I can recall. Just like music.

The Illusion Of Perfection…

I used to believe that I had to wait until I was “perfect” before I could be a spiritual teacher. Who was I to think that I could empower others? I realize differently now.

And because Life has many rhythms and cycles, tides coming in and out, I’m allowing my vision of truth to come to me. To emerge from within me.

I know that it will. It may well end up being music for all I know. And I’m just taking a break from it right now. Recharging my batteries.

Or, and this seems much closer, it may be some hybrid fusion of being a spiritual teacher, self empowerment expert and musician.

I’ll keep you posted!

 

Let Go And Let God part 2

In part 1 of this series,  I wrote about how my life path and journey are undergoing a major renovation.

I’d like to share where I stand now and what I’m thinking I might be doing as I move forward.

It has to do with something I learned from when I attended Alcoholics Anonymous.

I’ve been clean and sober coming up on 20 years now.  I’ll share that story and the lessons learned another time.

Anyhow, they would use slogans that were very helpful with the healing process. One of my favourite ones was “Let go and let God.”

To the uninitiated this doesn’t mean being passive or apathetic. Quite the opposite.

If you’re a hardcore materialist you may have some trouble with this, but please bear with me.

Our Universe is a field or grid of energy. At this subatomic or quantum level, everything is connected and holistic. Intelligent.

We could be likened to bumper cars at the midway. The more we can tap into this higher source of energy, the more power we have.

Trick is, it’s one of those counterintuitive things. We have to let go and get out of our own way in order for this Intelligent Power to flow more freely into our lives.

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Infinity

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been aware of eternity. Infinity.

As a child, my father ( a pilot and navigator in the armed forces) told me that the Universe was infinite.

He explained the concept of infinite as being without end. He wasn’t 100% “bad” — which is why I’ve forgiven all that happened between us in the past.

I love my father. He was doing the best he knew how at that time. So was I.

My mother grew up participating in the church. She sang in the choir, and did something called CGIT (Canadian Girls In Training — I think it’s kinda like the boyscouts or something).

She told me God was everywhere and in everything.

I can recall what I felt thinking about infinity. I tried imagining what that was.

Then I perceived that there really was no end.

Because if there was, there’d have to be “nothing” on the other side of the line where the Universe ended.

And how could there be “nothing?” Even the nothing would be something. Not to mention, if there was no end, there was also no beginning.

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Sidenote: Wrapping my mind around God being everywhere and in everything was a little harder, and made me slightly paranoid 😉

This was all at around the age of 7 or 8.

Also, from what I can gather, my father is or was an atheist or at least agnostic. Perhaps humanist. He never told me, and I never asked.
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The Observer And The Observed

I have another vivid memory from about 5 years of age when my family was living in Winnipeg.

I went to a neighbors house with kids around the same age where we usually played in their basement.

As I went down the stairs, I had a sudden flash from a bigger and deeper part of myself.

“Oh…I’m here again!” “Here” meaning this planet earth. And a feeling of having had many previous lives.

Another memory from about the age of 14 or so. And this actually was part of an ongoing process that has become an overarching theme in my life…

As I would lie in bed at night, before sleeping, I would find myself observing my thoughts.

And I would wonder who is it that is observing the thoughts? Am I the thinker? Or am I the observer of the thinker?

And I would notice that the observer had been there all my life. Unchanging.

It didn’t matter how much my mind or body changed, this perceiving intelligence (my true “primordial” self) was changeless throughout.

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Later, in Toronto, once I had work and a girlfriend and a room in a rooming house, I would give informal talks about these kinds of things to my friends.

I was reading a lot of J. Krishnamurti and studying things like astrology. These sources of information verified the kinds of insights I’d been having.

Oh yeah…and during my first few months in Toronto I remember feeling the presence of an angel beside me as I walked up Yonge St.

And I knew somehow I wasn’t imagining this. I “knew” it must be my guardian angel.

This silent loving presence soundlessly and wordlessly communicated to me that I was safe. Not to worry.

Well, I’m not going to write about the details of my adventures during those times. But the fact I came out alive and unscathed truly is a miracle.

So why am I telling you all this? Definitely not because I think I’m “special.”

I personally believe that there are many “old souls” here on the planet who have had these kinds of experiences — but due to the pressure of society and the mainstream worldviews have dismissed them.

And over the years, they’ve lost touch with this type of intuitive information.

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I’m definitely feeling a deeper sense of purpose right now as I think about somehow putting my voice out there.

For people who feel isolated and live in the margins of society. For people who have struggled and want to stop struggling.

For anyone looking to have a deeper sense of connection with themselves and Life.

For anyone who is just trudging through their days without a sense of direction or passion and purpose.

I don’t care what your beliefs are. I’m not here to talk politics or religion.

I’m here to shine a light so that you (if you’re still reading this you must be interested) can feel safe to shine yours too.

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If He/She Can Do It, You Can Too

“If he can do it, I can do it too!” kind of thing. That’s how AA worked for me.

The light doesn’t belong to anyone in particular.

It is the essence of who we are. Before we get programmed by a fearful society.

These fears may have had a place in the distant dark past of humanity — but most fear based beliefs are no longer necessary or relevant.

The world is changing rapidly. Not just in the areas of the economy and technology.

But in the overall frequency if you will.

More people are waking up. And then falling back asleep of course (usually in traffic or when the ticking of the clock gets louder), but nonetheless waking up.

It’s very exciting!

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The more smart and heart felt people who aren’t afraid to shine their light, the more the world will begin to shift into a more positive and healthy direction.

These blog posts are the first small step in dealing with how Life wants to express and create through me at this point in my life.

I will probably continue to blog on these topics. Perhaps make videos as well.

Music? Not sure yet. I haven’t formally practiced in 10 days now.

That’s the longest I can remember in at least 20 years.

I’m deliberately taking a break so I can allow my true nature to emerge without any bias to it. No agenda.

I want the truth of Life to shine through me. I surrender absolutely to what that truth is.

I feel music will still be an integral part of my life. The other day while teaching a student, I had to sing a passage for them — and my heart jumped for joy at singing.

And I’ve been singing around the house more recently — and loving it.

I have to play guitar when I teach. And I’ve had a couple of times where I really came alive inside while playing.

But that’s the point. I want to keep my music free. Free from agendas. Free from being a workaholic.

Free from obsession. Free from being so attached to any specific outcome.

I want the joy that I bring to my music to remain unsullied as much as possible. So for now, my music is under my watchful eye.

Until I know that it can breathe and flow naturally without me trying to make things happen.

If you don’t understand any of this, and you think you need to “make things happen” in life, that’s ok. In my experience, it doesn’t work. Not for me. Not anymore.

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Going With The Flow Of Abundance

In my experience it’s more about remaining grateful and feeling abundant. And then allowing things to happen.

Of course, action needs to be taken. Roll up your sleeves and all of that.

But it’s what I like to call aligned action.

Kind of like going down the rapids in a kayak. Using the paddle to steer and work with the flow of the river.

And guess what? Just got a brand new car from just that type of mind set.

Read Part 1 Of This Series

Go To Part 3 Of This Series

Let Go And Let God part 1

This is Part 1 in a series.

I had been so inspired with my guitar playing recently.  I’d been practicing and thinking about it virtually non stop since early fall 2015.

And this after playing most days of my life since my teenaged years. Self taught.

And of course, I’ve been teaching guitar professionally for 22 years now.

I also majored in guitar at one of Canada’s finest music colleges. Graduated at the top of my class.

After graduation, I did a bunch of things guitar related. Played in cover bands, original bands (lots of girls!), solo gigs at conferences and weddings (nice pay!), started my teaching biz.

Played a thousand open mics. Literally.

Not to mention that last year (2015) I finally was able to produce an EP of 5 of my songs of totally professional quality.

This is no easy task — even though home recording is so accessible. To learn the engineering and then use the equipment to get professional results is a formidable task.

With some help and mentoring (Thanks Gary!), and lots of practice over the years, I was finally able to do it in my small home studio.

I also had support from many of you who are reading this too — by pre purchasing the CD “Hey Mary Hey.” Thank you 🙂

This is all just to say that guitar and music has been a big part of my life and my goals.

A few weeks ago, I decided to google a service in GTA (Greater Toronto Area for those not familiar with Toronto, Canada — or T-dot for short) to fix a minor issue with my guitar amp.

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Fuzz Pedals

It led me to a guy in the suburbs who builds his own amps and guitar pedals from scratch. All based on the gear in the late sixties and early seventies.

Point to point hand wired amps, germanium transistors in the fuzz pedals instead of silicon. Vintage.

The stuff that created the magic tones of Jimi Hendrix, David Gilmour (Pink Floyd) and other “guitar heroes.”

The amp, pedals and guitar one instrument of only wood, steel and glass.

I was intrigued and inspired by his concept when we chatted over the phone. So I decided to go to his shop and check out a germanium fuzz pedal.

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Frustrated Geniuses

The day before I was scheduled to head over, he called me up to confirm. We ended up chatting a bit more about the music business and being a musician.

He said something completely unintentional that hit me like a ton of bricks.

He said something along the lines of “Yeah, like those frustrated geniuses that think they need to suffer for their art. They’re still really trying to make their music work.”

And I thought “Is that me?” And this question continued to work it’s way into my consciousness for the rest of the day.

And while I slept and dreamt that night.

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The next morning, a Monday, I was “dazed and confused.” I didn’t know what was happening to me.

I was able to function, but I was just going through the motions. I felt disconnected from my usual surroundings somehow.

I decided it was some weird temporary thing and that the best thing to do would be simply push through with my original plans as best I could.

I drove out to the burbs and met Steve. The guy who builds amps and fuzz pedals, etc.

I tried his pedals. Sounded great, but I wasn’t excited because I was so zapped out from not knowing what was going on.

“Was music even my thing anymore?” I kept asking myself silently.

I saw how Steve had a young family (a couple of toddlers), a nice little house and a rack of guitars and gear.

He basically played for fun, and while I was there another dude showed up to pick up a Marshall amp that Steve had fixed up for him.

I decided to get the fuzz pedal in the hopes that I was just in a temporary delusional state — and that my “normal” inspiration and confidence would return.

I handed Steve a wad of cash after the other dude left (after he handed Steve an even bigger wad of cash).

I thought “Wow. Steve’s just treating it like a hobby. And look at the money!”

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Money

Ok. Money. A hot issue with everyone.

Everyone is either chasing after it, or they have an aversion to it.

Or some “driving with the brakes on” combo of the two. But we all need it.

note: Money is also a cool tune by the above mentioned Pink Floyd. It’s in 7/4 time.

In the past, I had mixed programming regarding money. I grew up in a middle class home where money was not the problem.

The problem was an abusive father. Physically and mentally.

I don’t want to get into that too much other than to shed some light on things.

And there may be readers who have similar issues and they can benefit from my story.

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Because of the relentless pressure from the relationship with my father, I decided to leave home at the tender age of 17 and I ended up on the streets of Toronto.

This lasted for a little while until I was able to start getting work, etc. I was directed by a compassionate hostel worker to a social worker who helped me.

I was able to use their phone, get a resume typed (yes, typed!) up, etc. Feel some acceptance for who I was.

Others in my family (uncles, cousins, etc.) were even upper middle class and a couple were even rich.

I saw that people weren’t necessarily happy, therefore money wasn’t the source of happiness.

Nothing external is. External things reflect our happiness –or unhappiness — back to us.

Or they are simply neutral and we project our stuff onto it.

Toward the end of high school, I  thought that when I did earn a living, I at least wanted to do something I enjoyed.

Not just for the money. Something I could feel passionate about.

So part of my programming came about as a reaction or rebellion to the way I was brought up.

I was kind of anti money. Definitely as far as the “keeping up appearances” kind of having money.

Plus, starting on the Toronto streets (hanging out in the Eaton Centre and Salvation Army drop in centres to stay warm — very tough at Christmas watching the shoppers) and scratching my way up from there — well, let’s just say I missed more meals than your average college student.

Besides the rebelliousness toward money and the WASP (white anglo saxon protestant) status quo of my family, I also developed “poverty consciousness.”

I began to believe that I was less than others. I didn’t deserve.

I formed these false beliefs from my first years being on my own with little to no support.

After many years of working on myself and various issues, I think I’ve made some great progress.

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Changes

In the areas of health, I’m doing great. I’m full of vitality and regular exercise is an installed habit.

I don’t smoke or drink and have no trouble sticking to a healthy diet.

I’m also with my soulmate. We’re going strong coming up on 10 years now.

We’re a team and to me she’s absolutely the most fascinating and incredible person. And of course, very beautiful!

We’re wiser and stronger and more loving together.

I’ve managed to survive for the past 20 plus years with not much more than a guitar, my musical skills and my understanding of human nature.

But now I’m not certain where I stand in relation to my musical journey and goals. A major shift has occured.

Read Part 2 Here.

What Is Success?

Loaded question. What is success? My version of success has changed. I think the standard mainstream version of he or she with the most toys wins has really had it’s day.

Let’s move on from such a constrictive view, shall we?

My old version was never about the money per se, but it was definitely about winning the approval of others.

This was conditioned into me quite strongly through the usual methods. Society, teachers, family, etc.

Conditioning seems to be either a conforming to or a  reelling against some kind of belief or behaviour.

Through a hodgepodge of environmental and genetic factors, my own particular idea of success developed.

Of course I’m talking about my old and now outdated version of success.

The one that drove me for many years. Seeking approval from something or someone external to myself.

Even when I became acutely aware of the tendency of the mind to seek approval and was able to weaken it through awareness and practice, it still frequently dominated me.

Ah! Being human.

 

Breakthrough

In a book I love and own called “The Inner Journey Home” by A.H. Almaas, he suggests the soul has an embedded code that unfolds when it’s ready.

The best analogy I can come up for this is that of a seed. A seed has certain codes of information that  unveil the next stage of the seed’s journey until it become “fully realized” as a plant or tree.

I’m sure in your life you’ve felt a certain way about something or someone and suddenly found yourself with a change of heart.

This is your soul unveiling information as you unfold more fully into your potential. Spontaneous intelligence.

For a long time I thought I wanted or needed to be a famous musician in order to be loved and accepted.

And in order to love and accept myself.

Recently, I noticed the suffering from feeling this missing in my life seemed to be growing weaker.  (I’m not a famous musician! Lol)

And even if I were (a famous musician), I’m pretty sure my mind would find problems elsewhere in my life. A critic, a fan, somebody sold more records,
somebody burned me in business, etc.

Today I suddenly realized it’s pretty much gone. At least the edges have definitely been sanded down and smoothed away. I’m not saying the fantasy never plays out in the back of my mind — but that when it does, I don’t suffer. No pain. It’s not Reality.

And I also realized I’ve quietly been building my own values and version of what success is.

 

So, What Is Success?

My parents wanted me to be a doctor or business executive. Really badly! I didn’t want either of those things. When I was younger I wanted to be a pro athlete. Probably hockey.

Then as a teen, I shifted to wanting to be deeply involved in music. I loved it so much!

So just what is success? Is it money and fame? Lots of sex with desirable partners? Big house and cars?

As I said above, these models seem to be slowly fading from mass consciousness. It’s definitely still there, but there also seems to be a growing disillusionment with this version of success.

 

My Version Of Success

Excellent Health: The body is the temple for your awareness and existence. Many people treat their phones and cars better than they treat their own bodies.

Loving And Supportive Relationships: What’s the point of having a bunch of stuff if you don’t have anyone to share it with? Or if you do, you’re so busy with making money and fame that you don’t have any time to be with your loved ones?

Prosperity: Gotcha!! My version of success definitely does NOT mean being poor. I think a healthy pocketbook is an essential ingredient to be able to be and do things on this planet. However I do think everyone should find there own definition of prosperity.

For me it means a balance. Being able to pay my bills without having to worry or juggle finances in order to do so. Being able to save and invest a portion of my income. Being able to afford the tools I require to do my work and express myself creatively. Being able to take time off without feeling anxious.

I don’t require a mansion or a yacht in order to feel prosperous. But if they float down the river of Life into my experience, I’ll accept them gratefully!

I have a personality that can be happy with the simple things. Right now I live in an apartment with my wife and we share a Toyota Corolla.

And I’m happy anyways. No matter what. Almost all of the time. Even when I’m “unhappy” I’m able to turn it around in a relatively short time.

Which leads me to another ingredient in my recipe for success.

Emotional Mastery And Spiritual Connection: A human being cannot be happy where sorrow is.

If you’re feeling emotional pain— or you’re just simply uninspired by life — then you need some kind of tools to help you clear that stuff away. So that the core of who you are — unconditioned happiness — can shine out.

Don’t believe me? I’m soft in the head? I’m pretty certain even the most hard boiled of materialists and cynics have had moments of happiness with no apparent cause.

Just a moment where the burdens drop and you feel at ease and at peace with everything.

It could be in Nature. For many it is. A sunset, a mountain or ocean. They reflect the majesty of your true inner essence and for a moment you experience it.

Creative Expression: Yes!  Although I’m no longer all that interested in being a famous musician because of all the probable sacrifices involved — such as time spent with loved ones, time to reflect or do other activities I enjoy, etc. — I absolutly LOVE creating and playing music. Everyday. Except for a few “cherry picked” days off.

I’m still working on finding ways to create my music and share it with a community of people who appreciate it. If you’re reading this you’re a big part of that.

I love to perform, but I don’t like bars that much. So I’m still looking for ways to perform in the Toronto area — eventually even Southern Ontario and larger. But I’d like to do it in a way that’s not just another rat race. The musician rat race.

I can perform as often and as close to home (or far from home) as I want.

I’m not in that rat race of making an album, touring, and then doing it all again. Eventually just burning out.

 

My Version Of Success In A Nutshell

  • healthy, loving and supportive relationships
  • excellent health
  • prosperity
  • emotional balance and connection to Life and the Eternal.
  • excellence in my craft

 

Congratulations — you made it to the end. This was a pretty long and winding road of an article!

Please leave me a comment below or share with friends 🙂