In part 1 of this series, I wrote about how my life path and journey are undergoing a major renovation.
I’d like to share where I stand now and what I’m thinking I might be doing as I move forward.
It has to do with something I learned from when I attended Alcoholics Anonymous.
I’ve been clean and sober coming up on 20 years now. I’ll share that story and the lessons learned another time.
Anyhow, they would use slogans that were very helpful with the healing process. One of my favourite ones was “Let go and let God.”
To the uninitiated this doesn’t mean being passive or apathetic. Quite the opposite.
If you’re a hardcore materialist you may have some trouble with this, but please bear with me.
Our Universe is a field or grid of energy. At this subatomic or quantum level, everything is connected and holistic. Intelligent.
We could be likened to bumper cars at the midway. The more we can tap into this higher source of energy, the more power we have.
Trick is, it’s one of those counterintuitive things. We have to let go and get out of our own way in order for this Intelligent Power to flow more freely into our lives.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve been aware of eternity. Infinity.
As a child, my father ( a pilot and navigator in the armed forces) told me that the Universe was infinite.
He explained the concept of infinite as being without end. He wasn’t 100% “bad” — which is why I’ve forgiven all that happened between us in the past.
I love my father. He was doing the best he knew how at that time. So was I.
My mother grew up participating in the church. She sang in the choir, and did something called CGIT (Canadian Girls In Training — I think it’s kinda like the boyscouts or something).
She told me God was everywhere and in everything.
I can recall what I felt thinking about infinity. I tried imagining what that was.
Then I perceived that there really was no end.
Because if there was, there’d have to be “nothing” on the other side of the line where the Universe ended.
And how could there be “nothing?” Even the nothing would be something. Not to mention, if there was no end, there was also no beginning.
Sidenote: Wrapping my mind around God being everywhere and in everything was a little harder, and made me slightly paranoid 😉
This was all at around the age of 7 or 8.
Also, from what I can gather, my father is or was an atheist or at least agnostic. Perhaps humanist. He never told me, and I never asked.
The Observer And The Observed
I have another vivid memory from about 5 years of age when my family was living in Winnipeg.
I went to a neighbors house with kids around the same age where we usually played in their basement.
As I went down the stairs, I had a sudden flash from a bigger and deeper part of myself.
“Oh…I’m here again!” “Here” meaning this planet earth. And a feeling of having had many previous lives.
Another memory from about the age of 14 or so. And this actually was part of an ongoing process that has become an overarching theme in my life…
As I would lie in bed at night, before sleeping, I would find myself observing my thoughts.
And I would wonder who is it that is observing the thoughts? Am I the thinker? Or am I the observer of the thinker?
And I would notice that the observer had been there all my life. Unchanging.
It didn’t matter how much my mind or body changed, this perceiving intelligence (my true “primordial” self) was changeless throughout.
Later, in Toronto, once I had work and a girlfriend and a room in a rooming house, I would give informal talks about these kinds of things to my friends.
I was reading a lot of J. Krishnamurti and studying things like astrology. These sources of information verified the kinds of insights I’d been having.
Oh yeah…and during my first few months in Toronto I remember feeling the presence of an angel beside me as I walked up Yonge St.
And I knew somehow I wasn’t imagining this. I “knew” it must be my guardian angel.
This silent loving presence soundlessly and wordlessly communicated to me that I was safe. Not to worry.
Well, I’m not going to write about the details of my adventures during those times. But the fact I came out alive and unscathed truly is a miracle.
So why am I telling you all this? Definitely not because I think I’m “special.”
I personally believe that there are many “old souls” here on the planet who have had these kinds of experiences — but due to the pressure of society and the mainstream worldviews have dismissed them.
And over the years, they’ve lost touch with this type of intuitive information.
I’m definitely feeling a deeper sense of purpose right now as I think about somehow putting my voice out there.
For people who feel isolated and live in the margins of society. For people who have struggled and want to stop struggling.
For anyone looking to have a deeper sense of connection with themselves and Life.
For anyone who is just trudging through their days without a sense of direction or passion and purpose.
I don’t care what your beliefs are. I’m not here to talk politics or religion.
I’m here to shine a light so that you (if you’re still reading this you must be interested) can feel safe to shine yours too.
If He/She Can Do It, You Can Too
“If he can do it, I can do it too!” kind of thing. That’s how AA worked for me.
The light doesn’t belong to anyone in particular.
It is the essence of who we are. Before we get programmed by a fearful society.
These fears may have had a place in the distant dark past of humanity — but most fear based beliefs are no longer necessary or relevant.
The world is changing rapidly. Not just in the areas of the economy and technology.
But in the overall frequency if you will.
More people are waking up. And then falling back asleep of course (usually in traffic or when the ticking of the clock gets louder), but nonetheless waking up.
It’s very exciting!
The more smart and heart felt people who aren’t afraid to shine their light, the more the world will begin to shift into a more positive and healthy direction.
These blog posts are the first small step in dealing with how Life wants to express and create through me at this point in my life.
I will probably continue to blog on these topics. Perhaps make videos as well.
Music? Not sure yet. I haven’t formally practiced in 10 days now.
That’s the longest I can remember in at least 20 years.
I’m deliberately taking a break so I can allow my true nature to emerge without any bias to it. No agenda.
I want the truth of Life to shine through me. I surrender absolutely to what that truth is.
I feel music will still be an integral part of my life. The other day while teaching a student, I had to sing a passage for them — and my heart jumped for joy at singing.
And I’ve been singing around the house more recently — and loving it.
I have to play guitar when I teach. And I’ve had a couple of times where I really came alive inside while playing.
But that’s the point. I want to keep my music free. Free from agendas. Free from being a workaholic.
Free from obsession. Free from being so attached to any specific outcome.
I want the joy that I bring to my music to remain unsullied as much as possible. So for now, my music is under my watchful eye.
Until I know that it can breathe and flow naturally without me trying to make things happen.
If you don’t understand any of this, and you think you need to “make things happen” in life, that’s ok. In my experience, it doesn’t work. Not for me. Not anymore.
Going With The Flow Of Abundance
In my experience it’s more about remaining grateful and feeling abundant. And then allowing things to happen.
Of course, action needs to be taken. Roll up your sleeves and all of that.
But it’s what I like to call aligned action.
Kind of like going down the rapids in a kayak. Using the paddle to steer and work with the flow of the river.
And guess what? Just got a brand new car from just that type of mind set.