Let Go And Let God part 1

This is Part 1 in a series.

I had been so inspired with my guitar playing recently.  I’d been practicing and thinking about it virtually non stop since early fall 2015.

And this after playing most days of my life since my teenaged years. Self taught.

And of course, I’ve been teaching guitar professionally for 22 years now.

I also majored in guitar at one of Canada’s finest music colleges. Graduated at the top of my class.

After graduation, I did a bunch of things guitar related. Played in cover bands, original bands (lots of girls!), solo gigs at conferences and weddings (nice pay!), started my teaching biz.

Played a thousand open mics. Literally.

Not to mention that last year (2015) I finally was able to produce an EP of 5 of my songs of totally professional quality.

This is no easy task — even though home recording is so accessible. To learn the engineering and then use the equipment to get professional results is a formidable task.

With some help and mentoring (Thanks Gary!), and lots of practice over the years, I was finally able to do it in my small home studio.

I also had support from many of you who are reading this too — by pre purchasing the CD “Hey Mary Hey.” Thank you 🙂

This is all just to say that guitar and music has been a big part of my life and my goals.

A few weeks ago, I decided to google a service in GTA (Greater Toronto Area for those not familiar with Toronto, Canada — or T-dot for short) to fix a minor issue with my guitar amp.

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Fuzz Pedals

It led me to a guy in the suburbs who builds his own amps and guitar pedals from scratch. All based on the gear in the late sixties and early seventies.

Point to point hand wired amps, germanium transistors in the fuzz pedals instead of silicon. Vintage.

The stuff that created the magic tones of Jimi Hendrix, David Gilmour (Pink Floyd) and other “guitar heroes.”

The amp, pedals and guitar one instrument of only wood, steel and glass.

I was intrigued and inspired by his concept when we chatted over the phone. So I decided to go to his shop and check out a germanium fuzz pedal.

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Frustrated Geniuses

The day before I was scheduled to head over, he called me up to confirm. We ended up chatting a bit more about the music business and being a musician.

He said something completely unintentional that hit me like a ton of bricks.

He said something along the lines of “Yeah, like those frustrated geniuses that think they need to suffer for their art. They’re still really trying to make their music work.”

And I thought “Is that me?” And this question continued to work it’s way into my consciousness for the rest of the day.

And while I slept and dreamt that night.

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The next morning, a Monday, I was “dazed and confused.” I didn’t know what was happening to me.

I was able to function, but I was just going through the motions. I felt disconnected from my usual surroundings somehow.

I decided it was some weird temporary thing and that the best thing to do would be simply push through with my original plans as best I could.

I drove out to the burbs and met Steve. The guy who builds amps and fuzz pedals, etc.

I tried his pedals. Sounded great, but I wasn’t excited because I was so zapped out from not knowing what was going on.

“Was music even my thing anymore?” I kept asking myself silently.

I saw how Steve had a young family (a couple of toddlers), a nice little house and a rack of guitars and gear.

He basically played for fun, and while I was there another dude showed up to pick up a Marshall amp that Steve had fixed up for him.

I decided to get the fuzz pedal in the hopes that I was just in a temporary delusional state — and that my “normal” inspiration and confidence would return.

I handed Steve a wad of cash after the other dude left (after he handed Steve an even bigger wad of cash).

I thought “Wow. Steve’s just treating it like a hobby. And look at the money!”

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Money

Ok. Money. A hot issue with everyone.

Everyone is either chasing after it, or they have an aversion to it.

Or some “driving with the brakes on” combo of the two. But we all need it.

note: Money is also a cool tune by the above mentioned Pink Floyd. It’s in 7/4 time.

In the past, I had mixed programming regarding money. I grew up in a middle class home where money was not the problem.

The problem was an abusive father. Physically and mentally.

I don’t want to get into that too much other than to shed some light on things.

And there may be readers who have similar issues and they can benefit from my story.

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Because of the relentless pressure from the relationship with my father, I decided to leave home at the tender age of 17 and I ended up on the streets of Toronto.

This lasted for a little while until I was able to start getting work, etc. I was directed by a compassionate hostel worker to a social worker who helped me.

I was able to use their phone, get a resume typed (yes, typed!) up, etc. Feel some acceptance for who I was.

Others in my family (uncles, cousins, etc.) were even upper middle class and a couple were even rich.

I saw that people weren’t necessarily happy, therefore money wasn’t the source of happiness.

Nothing external is. External things reflect our happiness –or unhappiness — back to us.

Or they are simply neutral and we project our stuff onto it.

Toward the end of high school, I  thought that when I did earn a living, I at least wanted to do something I enjoyed.

Not just for the money. Something I could feel passionate about.

So part of my programming came about as a reaction or rebellion to the way I was brought up.

I was kind of anti money. Definitely as far as the “keeping up appearances” kind of having money.

Plus, starting on the Toronto streets (hanging out in the Eaton Centre and Salvation Army drop in centres to stay warm — very tough at Christmas watching the shoppers) and scratching my way up from there — well, let’s just say I missed more meals than your average college student.

Besides the rebelliousness toward money and the WASP (white anglo saxon protestant) status quo of my family, I also developed “poverty consciousness.”

I began to believe that I was less than others. I didn’t deserve.

I formed these false beliefs from my first years being on my own with little to no support.

After many years of working on myself and various issues, I think I’ve made some great progress.

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Changes

In the areas of health, I’m doing great. I’m full of vitality and regular exercise is an installed habit.

I don’t smoke or drink and have no trouble sticking to a healthy diet.

I’m also with my soulmate. We’re going strong coming up on 10 years now.

We’re a team and to me she’s absolutely the most fascinating and incredible person. And of course, very beautiful!

We’re wiser and stronger and more loving together.

I’ve managed to survive for the past 20 plus years with not much more than a guitar, my musical skills and my understanding of human nature.

But now I’m not certain where I stand in relation to my musical journey and goals. A major shift has occured.

Read Part 2 Here.

Peter Green British Blues Style Guitar

Here’s some “behind the scenes” of how I practice. It’s a music appreciation lesson meant for anybody. You don’t have to be a musician to appreciate it. Hopefully it’s user friendly for everyone.

I call it Peter Green British Blues Style Guitar because it’s based on a song by Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac called “Need Your Love So Bad” (1969) an old school RnB/Blues and rock kind of tune. I’m using a Fender amp with tubes and my Les Paul.

note: I’m joking in the video below where I say my amp goes to 12. There’s a line in the classic movie “Spinal Tap” where Nigel, the lead guitarist boasts how his amp goes to 11. Most amps have knobs that are numbered up to 10.

My knobs happen to be numbered up to 12. The number on the knob of course, is arbitrary. The amp is either on full blast or somewhere else in the loudness continuum — regardless of what the number on the knob says 🙂

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Some people call this style “British Blues.” People like Eric Clapton, Peter Green, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, etc.

These guys developed their own style of music in the mid to late sixties. They were influenced by the great blues musicians from the US like Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, BB King, Albert King etc.

But they were also influenced by Elvis and rock n roll music. Not only that, but the technology of guitar amplification was at a certain development — and they took full advantage of this.

Actually, Jimi Hendrix could almost be described as a British Blues player because he made it “big” when he relocated to London.

And with all the psychedelia influence, the Beatles and Woodstock in the air at the time — well, these factors combined to create this sound some call British Blues.

In the video I use a pedal — the silver glowing thing on the floor. Those guys didn’t use pedals too much. My amp is way loud — even at 1 or 2 on the volume knob. Of course, my amp goes to 12 😉

As a guitarist, I’m always looking for things to practice to stay in shape and to keep learning my craft.

I do various things. Scales and all that stuff. But that gets pretty boring after all these years! I do a lot of lifting. That’s finding music I like and learning it by ear. Playing along to it note for note.

Of course when I record my songs, I learn a lot by creating the guitar parts in my arrangements. And in the past, I’ve logged countless hours in various bands which is another kind of practice.

In this case, a great guitarist and guitar teacher based in NYC named Jeff McErlain published some guitar lessons based on British Blues.

sidenote: Jeff is also the guitar coach on the movie August Rush. Here’s a link to his site if you’re interested in checking out what he does.

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I bought his course to have another practice option. Turned out it’s a lot of fun!

As mentioned above, Jeff based this performance study on the song “Need Your Love So Bad”  by Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac in 1969.

The chord progression is really cool. I love these kind of progressions. For any musicians out there, it goes A, A7, D7, D#dim, A, F#min, Bmin, E, A, D9, A, Eaug.

It’s in 6/8. Romantic and wistful.

I really love playing blues rock on my electric guitar! As a singer/songwriter I also love playing my acoustic steel string. Acoustic steel string guitar is another beast to master. I’ll have something about that coming soon — and perhaps also how I keep my voice in shape.

Trivia: One of my favourite singers? Billy Ocean. Yep. Great to practice to for me — my range matches up to his really well.

Awesome! You made it. I hope you enjoyed this little slice of my life as a musician. Please feel free to leave any comments below or share this article with friends. I really appreciate it 🙂

What Is Success?

Loaded question. What is success? My version of success has changed. I think the standard mainstream version of he or she with the most toys wins has really had it’s day.

Let’s move on from such a constrictive view, shall we?

My old version was never about the money per se, but it was definitely about winning the approval of others.

This was conditioned into me quite strongly through the usual methods. Society, teachers, family, etc.

Conditioning seems to be either a conforming to or a  reelling against some kind of belief or behaviour.

Through a hodgepodge of environmental and genetic factors, my own particular idea of success developed.

Of course I’m talking about my old and now outdated version of success.

The one that drove me for many years. Seeking approval from something or someone external to myself.

Even when I became acutely aware of the tendency of the mind to seek approval and was able to weaken it through awareness and practice, it still frequently dominated me.

Ah! Being human.

 

Breakthrough

In a book I love and own called “The Inner Journey Home” by A.H. Almaas, he suggests the soul has an embedded code that unfolds when it’s ready.

The best analogy I can come up for this is that of a seed. A seed has certain codes of information that  unveil the next stage of the seed’s journey until it become “fully realized” as a plant or tree.

I’m sure in your life you’ve felt a certain way about something or someone and suddenly found yourself with a change of heart.

This is your soul unveiling information as you unfold more fully into your potential. Spontaneous intelligence.

For a long time I thought I wanted or needed to be a famous musician in order to be loved and accepted.

And in order to love and accept myself.

Recently, I noticed the suffering from feeling this missing in my life seemed to be growing weaker.  (I’m not a famous musician! Lol)

And even if I were (a famous musician), I’m pretty sure my mind would find problems elsewhere in my life. A critic, a fan, somebody sold more records,
somebody burned me in business, etc.

Today I suddenly realized it’s pretty much gone. At least the edges have definitely been sanded down and smoothed away. I’m not saying the fantasy never plays out in the back of my mind — but that when it does, I don’t suffer. No pain. It’s not Reality.

And I also realized I’ve quietly been building my own values and version of what success is.

 

So, What Is Success?

My parents wanted me to be a doctor or business executive. Really badly! I didn’t want either of those things. When I was younger I wanted to be a pro athlete. Probably hockey.

Then as a teen, I shifted to wanting to be deeply involved in music. I loved it so much!

So just what is success? Is it money and fame? Lots of sex with desirable partners? Big house and cars?

As I said above, these models seem to be slowly fading from mass consciousness. It’s definitely still there, but there also seems to be a growing disillusionment with this version of success.

 

My Version Of Success

Excellent Health: The body is the temple for your awareness and existence. Many people treat their phones and cars better than they treat their own bodies.

Loving And Supportive Relationships: What’s the point of having a bunch of stuff if you don’t have anyone to share it with? Or if you do, you’re so busy with making money and fame that you don’t have any time to be with your loved ones?

Prosperity: Gotcha!! My version of success definitely does NOT mean being poor. I think a healthy pocketbook is an essential ingredient to be able to be and do things on this planet. However I do think everyone should find there own definition of prosperity.

For me it means a balance. Being able to pay my bills without having to worry or juggle finances in order to do so. Being able to save and invest a portion of my income. Being able to afford the tools I require to do my work and express myself creatively. Being able to take time off without feeling anxious.

I don’t require a mansion or a yacht in order to feel prosperous. But if they float down the river of Life into my experience, I’ll accept them gratefully!

I have a personality that can be happy with the simple things. Right now I live in an apartment with my wife and we share a Toyota Corolla.

And I’m happy anyways. No matter what. Almost all of the time. Even when I’m “unhappy” I’m able to turn it around in a relatively short time.

Which leads me to another ingredient in my recipe for success.

Emotional Mastery And Spiritual Connection: A human being cannot be happy where sorrow is.

If you’re feeling emotional pain— or you’re just simply uninspired by life — then you need some kind of tools to help you clear that stuff away. So that the core of who you are — unconditioned happiness — can shine out.

Don’t believe me? I’m soft in the head? I’m pretty certain even the most hard boiled of materialists and cynics have had moments of happiness with no apparent cause.

Just a moment where the burdens drop and you feel at ease and at peace with everything.

It could be in Nature. For many it is. A sunset, a mountain or ocean. They reflect the majesty of your true inner essence and for a moment you experience it.

Creative Expression: Yes!  Although I’m no longer all that interested in being a famous musician because of all the probable sacrifices involved — such as time spent with loved ones, time to reflect or do other activities I enjoy, etc. — I absolutly LOVE creating and playing music. Everyday. Except for a few “cherry picked” days off.

I’m still working on finding ways to create my music and share it with a community of people who appreciate it. If you’re reading this you’re a big part of that.

I love to perform, but I don’t like bars that much. So I’m still looking for ways to perform in the Toronto area — eventually even Southern Ontario and larger. But I’d like to do it in a way that’s not just another rat race. The musician rat race.

I can perform as often and as close to home (or far from home) as I want.

I’m not in that rat race of making an album, touring, and then doing it all again. Eventually just burning out.

 

My Version Of Success In A Nutshell

  • healthy, loving and supportive relationships
  • excellent health
  • prosperity
  • emotional balance and connection to Life and the Eternal.
  • excellence in my craft

 

Congratulations — you made it to the end. This was a pretty long and winding road of an article!

Please leave me a comment below or share with friends 🙂

Why Do I Do It?

 

Hi. My name is Davidson and I’m a music addict. This is maybe dramatizing things — and I certainly don’t mean to make light of people who are involved in 12 Step programs. Been there.

What I mean is that I make music because I love it so freakin’ much! I love to sing. I love playing guitar. I love creating meaningful lyrics and cool melodies.

Why do I do it? I’m on a mission from my soul.

 

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It’s a part of my DNA.

Due to the nature of the world we live in, it’s not always “practical.” I mean in terms of cash. Yes, there are people who are doing really well in the music biz.

But the fact is, most people in the world are busy — and couldn’t care less about my new song or album.

I’ve spent times in my life where I’ve worked really hard trying to change that. My main incentive was that I wanted to play more music. Might as well try to get the earth to spin the other way. Talk about carrying the weight of the world!

Now, I can’t say I don’t care — but I definitely care much less than I used to. I do it for myself. I want my music to be as honest as possible. Hopefully that will resonate with people and that will be my service to them.

This is not to say that I’m not like anyone else and people’s appreciation of my work is not important. It’s awesome! But I look at it more like “gravy” or “icing.” I do my best not to expect it.

When I was a teenager and I consciously or subconciously decided to be a musician for my career, I didn’t do it to be famous. Even though I suffered from incredibly low self esteem at the time.

We’ve all been branded by some trauma or another during our formative years. Some worse, some less so. Mine was probably leaning toward the “worse” side of the spectrum.

That’s a big part of the reason why I ended up homeless, on the streets and on my own in a new city (Toronto) at the tender age of 17. ‘Nother story, ‘nother time.

That’s probably also what led me to have my mid life crisis in my late twenties. I started asking all the important questions that most avoid. “What am I really doing with my life? What is love? What is happiness? What’s the point of it all? Who/what do I really want to be/do? etc.” I couldn’t avoid them if I wanted to survive.

I really and truly don’t care about being famous or “special.” I just wanna be myself, work hard, and be able to pay the bills with a sense of ease and lightness. Who doesn’t?

Perhaps there are people out there who are motivated by fame and being special more than by the process of creating and playing music. I don’t know.

I only know that for me, I don’t seem to have a choice. I simply love making music. And I love learning about music. I love growing my skills.

 

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Down To The Crossroads

I’ve been down to the crossroads several times in my life thus far. Where I’ve been on my knees or even in fetal position — asking if I’m on the right path. Because it’s so damn hard!

Sometimes I wish I didn’t love making music so much so I could just concern myself with “getting by” and then “getting away” when I’ve had enough of “getting by.”

The grass is always greener.

Whenever I’ve tried walking away from music, something deep inside me knows better. And I know that if I want to respect myself, to be myself, I can’t.

Regardless of whether or not the world ever pays attention to my work. Or on what scale.

I’m mostly at peace within myself now. I now know that come hell or high water, I will do my best to continue to build upon my body of work.

It’s taken me 15 years to get to the point where I could get the financing and resources together in order to record 5 of my songs in a way that I’m very proud of.

I’m not going to stop now. I’ve been writing songs since I was a teenager — and I’m writing new songs now. To me, they’re the best songs I’ve ever written.

And I’m getting better all the time. Better guitar player. Better singer. Better arranger. Better with my lyrics.

 

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In The Past

In the now distant past, I felt very fortunate to have landed a job as the guitar teacher at a few music stores. This led to my “falling into” having my own teaching business with guitar and piano.

I thought “I’ve got the perfect day job!”

However, the reality of trying to live on “poverty wages” in the city of Toronto began to wear me down over the years.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not believe the world owes me a living.

And even if I have to flip burgers at MacDonald’s (God forbid!) in order to eat and have a roof over my head I will continue to build my body of work.

Before I graduated summa cum laude from Humber College Jazz in Toronto I worked many hours doing hard labour. Digging basements, moving furniture, cleaning crew, prep cook, short order cook.

Whatever. That’s the past.

 

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I Have Good Karma!

Fortunately, I’m still teaching and enjoying interacting and supporting my current students with their musical goals and growth.

I’ve also managed to develop a couple of other side income streams (such as some session work and helping my wife Mary with her businesses).

So for now, I am definitely a lucky person. I’ve been able to significantly close the gap between who the world wants me to be and who I truly am.

I’ve been able to somehow hold onto and nurture my artistic vision through thick and thin. I’m very grateful for that.

Maybe I’m just stubborn and hard headed.

Author Steven Pressfield, in his book The War of Art says this is a good thing. Alright — I’ll take it! 🙂

In the old days record companies and publishers had Artist Development. I guess I’ve been working my own Artist Development program all along.

Most people aim to take the freeway in order to develop their goals in life. I took to the side roads and stopped at all the villages along the way. No worries. It’s all good — I now know I can take the freeway if I choose.

 

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In A Nutshell

I’m simply going to do my best to continue creating more songs. There are still many obstacles ahead such as financing projects and making the time for them to get off the ground, but my spirit feels good.

A little scared, but good 🙂 I know my true happiness is on the inside independent of circumstances. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to be, do or have things.

Just helps me maintain sanity in an insane world.

I am becoming ever more my true self in a world where we are taught not to be.

If you enjoyed this article or think it would benefit someone, please comment below or share it. Thanks 🙂

Practicing Persistence

This story is all about practicing persistence. But Life is sometimes funny, no? It cannot be grasped by the mind. Just when you think you’ve got it, it wiggles and squishes and morphs away into a new shape.

Practicing persistence can actually bring up opportunities to practice other qualities such as patience, compassion and humour for oneself. Non-attachment to the outcome is also key.

All blended with passionately doing one’s best to create the best outcome possible, of course. Whew!

Last week I was hired to do some electric guitar parts by a producer from Los Angeles. He had a technical request for me. A recording technique that would involve equipment I don’t have in my studio.

Being a guy who enjoys “over delivering” in these types of situations, I went out and rented the device. At the rental shop with djent (really hardcore progressive metal) music blaring in the background, the clerks couldn’t seem to get any of the devices they had on hand working.

They finally opened up a brand new one out of the box, connected it to their computer and it seemed to be compatible. I took it home (including driving this was 2 1/2 hours later) and discovered I still had to go through a few steps to get it “installed” with my computer.

Finally it turned out that one of the hardware components on the unit wasn’t working. This was after quite a bit of troubleshooting on my part. Oh, and did I mention there was a deadline with this job?

I emailed the producer and explained the scenario. He got back to me with some troubleshooting suggestions of his own. I’d already attempted them so it didn’t change anything.

He then said he still really wanted my playing on the recording. So I was just going to do it with the equipment and device I normally use. But he wanted it by the end of the next day.

By then it was the end of my day — I’d have to get back to things “tomorrow.” I had some students coming in to work with and had no more time for recording.

It may not sound like much here — but it was kind of a frustrating day. Hours of work and nothing to show for it! This all took place on a Thursday.

And I was feeling a bit anxious knowing I still had to deliver a professional level performance in just a few hours of time the following day.

I had a Zumba class to help my wife with Friday morning, and it was also our only opportunity to get some laundry done at the local laundromat. That Friday evening was our regularly scheduled date night.

I wanted my cake and to eat it too! I wanted to deliver the goods, exercise and have fun, get my laundry done AND hang out with my wife!

Well, as rough as the previous day had been? Friday was it’s equal in terms of being smooth! 🙂 I learned the song, laid down all the parts (rhythm guitar and lead solos) and gave the producer more than what he needed — all within 90 minutes!!

My wife also happens to be a Reiki master and was actually giving a Reiki treatment to one of her clients at that point — they were next door to my studio — so I was kind of restrained in terms of being overly loud. But it all worked out!

In conclusion: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. The very next day or some day soon, Life will quite possibly give you an invisible helping hand!

Some of you may also be able to add TGIF to my conclusion! 😉

Thanks for reading this far,

Davidson

CBC Radio And My Music

Success!
Success!

If you’ve been following my story for a little while, you may remember that one of the main catalysts that propelled me onto my current path (with a brand new CD) was CBC Radio. (For any international readers, CBC is the Canadian version of the BBC in the UK).

At that time, (I thought) I was content to simply write and record my songs with the intention of eventually licensing them to film and television.
My wife Mary had been playing some of my songs in her Zumba class — and the response was terrific.

After several enthusiastic people from her class suggested CBC to me, I finally got the message. That’s how the cards laid out to inspire me to reach out to CBC.

Back in the late fall of 2014, I got in touch with the head of the CBC Music Resources Office, Mark Rheaume. Mark got back to me. He is such a genuine and cool guy. He always got back to me straight away — and with helpful and clear information. A very supportive and great contact for me in the music industry.

He’d listened to a couple of my tracks and he told me that they would definitely fit with many of the shows carried by the CBC. However, he also suggested I have an album — or at least an EP — this way, my story would be a little more compelling for the people who had the shows.

So I thought, “Why not? Ok— I guess I’m making a CD.”

This of course led to an impromptu fundraiser  and my EP of 5 songs is now complete. It’s available in my store as a physical CD with cool artwork or on i-tunes.
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Update: CBC Radio and My Music

Mark got back to me recently regarding the status of my music. It’s now officially uploaded into the CBC music library. Woo-hoo! Step one accomplished.

Mark also gave me the contact info for all the relevant CBC radio shows in the country who can possibly use my style of music. He suggested I contact the shows in Toronto and encourage them to play my music. The shows also need to play Canadian artists —  that can definitely help my cause.

I will keep you posted as I move forward with that!

Another cool thing is that if I ever broaden my base of operations beyond Toronto and play other towns and cities, I will have the contact info for the producers of the radio shows in those towns!
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A Standing Ovation

Davidson Yeager
Standing Ovation
Davidson Yeager
Dave With Fan and Friend Ron Lacourse

I received a standing ovation at the end of my mini concert a couple of days ago. Is it because I “blew the roof off the joint?”

I played well. I’m really very satisfied with my performance. My sound was good (I even had a couple of musicians in attendance looking at my super basic gear afterwards and asking me how I got such a great sound), I knew the songs really well, I had a well designed set and people were there to listen and watch. When I looked out at the audience, they were absorbed in what I was doing.

But I don’t think that’s why I got a standing ovation. If you read my previous post about how I kept getting really emotional and tears of gratitude while rehearsing, you’ll get a kick out of this.

I actually had it happen to me in the performance! Oh man. The thing I really didn’t want to happen (other than technical issues, of course) happened.

And you know what? People loved it. It was spontaneous. It was real. It was authentic.

You can’t plan things like that.
 

What Is Being An Artist, Anyway?

I guess it’s all part of being an artist. Because in our day to day life where we wear our “social and protective rubber…ummm masks”, we start to believe that everyone is just as cool as can be.

Know what I mean?

As an artist I’m grateful to have the task of revealing myself — in order for others to feel safe to reveal themselves. Not to be confused with those blubbery whining stereotypes that are always vulnerable — but to be real and authentic.

This includes vulnerability. But it also includes strength, courage and confidence. And of course Love. And the more authentic we can be, the more these authentic feelings from the core of our beingness express.

When I say love, I don’t only mean romantic, friendship and family — I also mean that passion for being alive and connected to everything else in the Universe(s) that is alive also.

If you were at the event, thank you again for your support!

And thank you for the standing ovation 🙂

 

Pictures From The Concert

 

Davidson Yeager
Dave fist pumping while receiving standing ovation.

 

Davidson Yeager

Davidson Yeager
Dave At Piano “Innocence.”

 

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Dave Expresses On The Guitar

 

 

 

I Wept Tears Of Gratitude Today

Innocence Comeback by Davidson Yeager
The World Needs You And Your Unique Gifts

I shed tears of gratitude today. Before you say “big deal” or “you wimp” let me tell you that I haven’t shed tears in a long time.

I do confess to having the sniffles when watching poignantly touching scenes from a film with my wife — but when it comes to real life? Once in a blue moon.

Why The Tears of Gratitude?

I’ve been working hard at my art form since I was a teen. I don’t want to go into the details, but I had to run away from home as a teen in order to follow my dream of doing music.

I didn’t have any support in my childhood home when it came to making a career in music.

I’ve been homeless. I’ve slept in stairwells and lobbies of buildings. Eaten and slept in homeless shelters. Fortunately this didn’t last long, and I was able to get work and land on my feet within a few months.

We always have support, of course. If we’re willing to receive it and look for it. Many people have supported me since then in ways both big and small.

Why Did I Weep Tears of Gratitude Part 2

I’m in the midst of crowd funding to raise enough money to finish my album and promote it.

The first step has been a community fundraiser. You may already know about this. My wife Mary is conducting a Zumba class. This will be followed my a live and intimate performance by me.

As I’ve been rehearsing over the past few weeks for this mini concert, I’ve found myself choking back tears on more than one occasion.

I don’t really want to break down and cry while on stage, so I finally asked Mary what she thinks about it. She said it the tears need to come out. Just let the tears out.

I told her that sounds wise. I then told her it’s the love and gratitude I feel toward her for helping me put this event on — and also for all the people that have stepped up to support with their wallets and time.

I’ve worked extremely hard at my craft — and my art form — for many years now, and not received much in the way of support or recognition. I’m not complaining. How else should it have been? And I know because of these early hardships I have a resilience that perhaps many do not have. Doesn’t mean it was easy though. And I questioned my decision to stay true to my calling many times. I’ve faced down the demons of self doubt many many times.

It’s also not about being “God’s gift” or famous — it’s more than this. This is my calling. These are my talents. I have felt that I have something to say and offer our culture for many years — and finally it’s starting to be recognized. It’s a feeling of purpose and belonging. Without being a false version of myself. It’s ok to let my light shine!

That’s what caused the tears of gratitude to flow.

After saying this to Mary, I had my head in her arms and I was weeping. She certainly doesn’t see me like this everyday, but I’m really glad she did.

It felt really good to allow myself to show her my vulnerability in that moment.

Does this mean I’m gonna be weeping any time soon though? Hopefully not. Although I am allowing the feelings of gratitude to deepen and expand as much as possible.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I have wept tears of gratitude today because of you 🙂