If you’ve read my previous article in this series you’ll know how I came to be inspired to write my song “Hey Mary Hey.”
So What’s Next?
So what now? Let’s say you’ve met someone and you think you’re eternal soulmates. How would you know? To qualify what I mean by eternal soulmates, just below is a brief list of characteristics.
And just to qualify even further, these points are based on my own actual experience — and through my observation of others.
- there was a definite aura of magic and synchronicity around your connection
- a feeling of knowing this person previously — even from past lives
- feeling safe and accepted when you’re with them — being yourself
- feeling inspired to love and understand
- a definite and spontaneous balance in the giving and receiving
There are probably many more characteristics I could list. But it’s all subjective anyways. The list is meant to merely give you a sense of what I’m talking about.
By the way, I’m not saying there’s any absolute truth to concepts such as soul mates or not. I’m a poet and musician. I also consider myself to be a natural born mystic — but not a saint! I only know that in my experience this idea of soul mates seems to be true. I also believe in reincarnation. I truly feel something — but of course, it can’t be tangibly proven to anyone else. Not yet, anyways.
I do know that if you are honest with yourself and your development, and a serious student of Life, you will find answers to your own questions. What is yours will come to you. Drop negativity when it arises (as best you can) and get out of your own way. Things have a way of unfolding for our highest good.
Oh yeah…it definitely helps to have a sense of humour with all the ups and downs!
The Need To Be Honest With Ourselves
Some people may read the above list and mistakenly project those qualities onto someone who is not their eternal soulmate. Raise your hand if you’ve been there, done that!
Some of the terms I’ve heard for use this type of attraction (usually one sided in some way) are karmic soulmate or twin flame.
I’m not going to get too caught up in the terminology here, so if you have different terms or definitions that’s fine.
The important thing is that the situations I’m discussing are Universal.
Unrequited Love And Eternal Soulmates
Have you ever fallen for someone so hard that you are kind of obsessed? But this person seems to barely acknowledge your existence?
Or, even if you work at it really hard, the most they will do is want to be “a friend?” Many of us have experienced this “archetypal drama” in some form. And it comes in varying intensities.
This is the more benign version of twin flame. You can’t get them out of your head — and you believe that if you just love them enough they will respond eventually.
Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. This is a common growing pain some of us experience as we mature emotionally.
At some point we need to face our denial and our delusion. We have to wake up and smell the coffee so to speak.
This person is not going to be with us — at least not in the way we truly want and deserve.
This can be a sticky addictive thing to get rid of. Kind of like gum on your shoe. And sometimes the Universe will test us.
Just when we thought we got the person out of our head, they call us! Or some other trigger sets off those old emotional patterns.
Sometimes these “relationships” can even be toxic. A world class example is when the person you are chasing is married.
And they say they love you — but they won’t leave their spouse. They may go through the motions and get your hopes up, but it never happens.
It’s hard to say whether this person is a karmic soulmate (lessons to be learned in this lifetime based upon unresolved issues from past lives) or a twin flame.
Again, it doesn’t matter. At least not in my book. What matters is that you are able to wake up at some point and learn the lesson.
You are able to love yourself , forgive the situation, release it, and move on.
There are some other scenarios that can play out in this arena of unrequited and one sided love attractions.
Maybe the person you’re in love with has equally strong feelings for you. But they’ve been hurt in the past and have a wall up.
The stronger their feelings for you, the more they might resist opening up to you on all levels.
This person may even be dating someone else. But chances are they don’t have strong feelings for this other person — so they can’t be hurt.
Sometimes in this type of situation the person alternates between pulling you close and pushing you away. They continue holding on to you because they have strong feelings for you, but they can’t open up.
The number one rule?
You can never make the other person behave in ways that you want them to. It’s their life and their choices to make.
Same with you though. You can either choose to stay, wait and hope they’ll change. Or you can walk away and demand more for yourself out of life.
If you don’t fixate on any particular person as being your soulmate, that frees up the Universe to act on your behalf. The Universe can see so much more than we can with our tiny and very limited perspective.
The Universe can then find the best person for you!
And be forewarned. You’ll have to be strong. Your number one priority in this world will need to be “saving your soul.” I don’t mean in the traditional religious view of “going to hell.” But there are a lot of pitfalls and traps in this world to be aware of.
If you’re lucky you have had good teachers and mentors — if not, find some.
So maintain your worldly concerns, yes — pay your bills, go to work — but your number one focus needs to be wanting to be free.
It’s also ok if your life is falling apart and perhaps you don’t even have a job. That will give you more time to journal, reflect and recharge yourself.
In order to do this and be successful you’ll need support. This support needs to be internal.
It can however, be reflected around you in the form of a trusted advisor, self help books, a support group, etc.
If you don’t have the funds to pay for a good counsellor — someone not only with experience, but with a degree of conscious enlightenment — then read all the self help books you can get your hands on!
Make sure they are inspiring and uplifting and teach you how to love yourself. Journaling can also be effective for many people.
Note: I used to be somewhat confused about the phrase “love yourself.” I used to wonder what that really meant. With practice over the years I’ve gotten a much deeper understanding of it. And I love myself most of the time. But I’m still learning.
Take Care Of Your Body
If you don’t already do so, take care of your body! Eat better, exercise regularly — even if it’s just walking and stretching to start with.
This will give you a foundation of strength to stand up to any addictive patterns from the past when they try lure you back in.
If you smoke, get a book like Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking: The Easyway To Stop Smoking. You’ll be much stronger free of the smokes. And bonus! You’ll have more money for other more positive experiences.
If you drink, cut back or stop. If you can’t “take it or leave it,” you may well have a problem. If you suspect you do, your local chapter of AA is the proven and successful way to go. Don’t talk to your friends at the bar. They won’t understand.
All these “bad habits” create leaks in your energy field that make it very difficult to tune in to and radiate your truth.
If You’ve Gotten This Far
If you’ve gotten this far and started to install new and improved habits, you’ll have much more success at radiating your true frequency.
In Tibetan Buddhism this energy is known as “drala.” The unseen forces that put some wind in your sails.
When your energies are in order your true eternal soulmate (or true twin flame — whichever term you prefer) will be able to “hear” your signal.
From there, the Universe can step in and ride shotgun. By this, I mean orchestrate synchronicities and events that little ol’ you could never “make” happen.
Lucky for us, we just need to show up!
When the time is right, and you are ready, your eternal soulmate will appear. Of course it’ll be when you are least expecting it — and only if that is something your heart truly desires.
Isn’t That The Same As The Law of Attraction?
Yes. But one could say that everything in Life is the law of attraction. Even when you have an aversion to something it’s simply attraction in reverse.
Gravity is attraction. Love is attraction. These invisible forces are the glue that holds the Cosmos together.
“What if I don’t believe in all this New Age-y woo woo stuff?”
No problem. This isn’t like standard traditional religion. Eternal soulmates are not based on belief so much as an inner knowingness.
This doesn’t mean being completely stubborn and throwing out all logic and objectivity.
It won’t mean anything if you don’t truly experience an “aha” for yourself. No need to go along with the pack.
If you can’t access that inner knowingness for some reason, that’s ok. If you believe wholeheartedly in a materialistic and random universe that’s ok. No worries.
Gravity still works the same for you as it does for me. Love still beats in your heart for certain people, places or things — just as it does for me.
If you follow a protocol and take care of yourself on all levels (such as the one outlined above), you will have a much better chance at creating a fulfilling life.
In other words, do things everyday that will strengthen and balance you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
If you have difficulty with the spiritual, just do your best to tap into a philosophy that is based on win -win. And practice letting go of wanting to control possible outcomes.
Simply take actions and allow the outcomes to be.
To Summarize: “What Now?”
Ok. You’ve done the work. You’ve been patient. You’ve let go of the outcome. You’ve now hooked up with your eternal soulmate.
That’s fantastic! But I want to warn you that the work is not done. It’s not like in the movies where you simply ride off into the sunset of the “honeymoon phase!” LOL
To find out what to expect, read Part 3 of eternal soul mates
note: Part 3 will be here next week or so. I’m writing this July 2, 2015. Sign up for my free song download if you enjoy this article and want to be notified of more.
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