Last time I left off, I was telling you about my passion for sharing spiritual insights with people. Inspiring people to empower themselves.
I’ve been going after a career in music for a long time. And I’ve had many ups and downs, adventures and different experiences.
What I’ve come to realize is that I’m not sure if the vision I had was accurate. And what I want. I don’t know if music is the only thing I want.
I don’t know if I want to sacrifice other parts of myself in order to singlemindedly pursue my music ambitions.
Because as much as I have learned quite a bit about successfully tapping into the Law of Attraction (the power of our minds to create) in order for it to work, you need to be in alignment.
That means you need to really want what you want. It has to really speak to you deep down.
It also means that you are in alignment with the forces and structures that exist here on the planet.
Structures Already In Play
If you know anything about the archetypal wisdom contained within the tarot deck, you’ll know this energy is best described by The Emperor card.
For example, governments, taxes and society are forces that have been set into motion over the course of millennia.
You can’t ignore them. A simple example: If you’re a guy and you want a girlfriend, well society has certain “rules” that are in play.
You can’t just walk up to a gal and expect her to be your girlfriend.
There are certain protocols to follow. Some of them may be influenced by nature, but many of them come from society.
In the music business (as in any business if you want to succeed) there are rules and protocols. And that’s where my blockage comes in.
For one thing, since I don’t drink or smoke, I have a slight aversion to late nights in bars. I used to do that all the time and my career was busier, but my life sucked.
Right now I would definitely need to go out an play more gigs in order to create my music dream. Get face to face with more people.
That’s fine, but it’s a lot of work. And I’m not sure I want to do that right now.
As much as I love to play music and perform, I don’t know if I’d enjoy that being my main focus all the time.
Not for the low pay (if any) at the beginning of such a venture. I’ve been there and done that. Several times.
Hiring other musicians, rehearsing, getting people to show up to the show, etc. It’s very hard work.
Of course, this kind of work can lead to getting a team and then an actual paycheck at the end of the night, but not for a while.
I’m not sure I want to be spending that much time away from other things in my life — and when I do succeed? Probably spending large chunks of time away from home and family.
These are the tough questions I’ve been asking myself. Questions like these are tough to ask ourselves because it means coming out of denial in some aspect of our lives.
Everyone has these blind spots. It’s a lot easier to see patterns like this in others than in ourselves.
I’ve been going after this dream for so long that I hadn’t stop to think about what was really involved.
When I was younger, unattached and didn’t care if I lived in a van for a year eating microwaved tacos, I also didn’t have the support, resources or confidence to make it work.
I will say I had the musical talent though.
Oh The Irony!
The irony is, now that I have more resources, more confidence and networking skills, I don’t know that I want to do that.
It’s not just about music anymore. It’s also about Lifestyle Design.
I’m such a different person now than when I thought music was all I wanted. That was a past self.
And the funny thing is, that these New Age/Spiritual and self help type of ideas have been my passion and natural inclination for as long as I can recall. Just like music.
The Illusion Of Perfection…
I used to believe that I had to wait until I was “perfect” before I could be a spiritual teacher. Who was I to think that I could empower others? I realize differently now.
And because Life has many rhythms and cycles, tides coming in and out, I’m allowing my vision of truth to come to me. To emerge from within me.
I know that it will. It may well end up being music for all I know. And I’m just taking a break from it right now. Recharging my batteries.
Or, and this seems much closer, it may be some hybrid fusion of being a spiritual teacher, self empowerment expert and musician.
I’ll keep you posted!