If you’ve been following my posts you’ll know that I’ve been going through a metamorphosis of sorts.
Like when the caterpillar feels the itch to allow the butterfly to emerge.
All you can do is surrender. Well, you don’t have to — but it makes it much easier.
For the first few weeks of 2016 I didn’t touch my guitar unless I was teaching.
I sang around the house when moved to sing a song, but did no vocal exercises (singing is a muscle).
I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t fall into the pattern of thinking I really had to do something with my music.
I mean, commercially. You know, make money from it.
Because for me, it’s just not working. The drug is not doing it’s thing.
If you know me, you know that I’m the master of discipline and perseverence. Going after your dream, being courageous and consistent, etc. All that stuff is child’s play for me.
That’s not the issue for me. It was coming to the realization that it’s just not what I want anymore.
Sometimes Dreams Change
It’s like suddenly realizing the shoes you’re wearing are too tight.
Or the person you’re “in love” with is just not loving you back, man! Get over it. Walk away. Move on.
Know what I mean? The wisdom to know the difference.
So it’s been interesting and disorienting at times waiting and allowing the “butterfly” to emerge from the caterpillar.
I’m getting glimpses.
And I’m now practicing a bit. 4 or 5 days a week is all I’m allowed. No more than 20 minutes on guitar and about 40 minutes of singing each day.
Just bare minimum to keep in shape.
And have fun. No commercial agenda. No putting pressure on myself.
What I’ve Been Up To In The Meantime
Previously I also talked about how I enjoy the idea of teaching about spiritual tools, techniques and realizations.
Stuff for people who are looking for that.
How to meditate, develop awareness, access intuitive faculties, more creativity, peace of mind, less reactive, more patient, etc.
And of course, to realize God. God being a word or pointer that I’m using in this context. You can use Source, Divine Intelligence, The Tao, etc.
I assume this is going to take some time to develop. I just want to follow the impulse to discuss these things and see where it leads me.
Meanwhile, I still need to earn a living, so…
I’m still teaching music lessons privately and enjoying it very much. It’s very rewarding to work with the people I’m working with.
Helping them develop their musical gifts and interests.
I’m also still helping Mary with her Zumba and Yoga businesses however I can. This can be at class when I can make it, or brainstorming with her over coffee in the morning.
I’m also helping Mary with her psychic business. Because I’ve been interested in and studied tarot cards and astrology since my youth, it’s a natural fit.
In the past, I never felt doing readings professionally would be something I could ever do.
But Mary has been doing it since she was a teen. Both because of her gypsy heritage and her natural (and awesome!) gift at it.
She’s been training me over the past 10 years, and I’ve now done hundreds of readings both over the phone and at parties/events.
I really used to resist at doing readings too much in the past because I had a lot of pride in my abilities as a musician.
Not to mention my “guysho” (non gypsy) upbringing making me feel less than authentic.
But now I find I’m enjoying it.
And I can help people with my psychic impressions (how’d I develop that? Born that way plus many years of meditation, working with crystals, Reiki attunements, etc.) intuitive insights and common sense.
By the way, we all receive psychic impressions. It’s really just the developing the ability and confidence to “catch” them.
I just want to close out by saying I know that somehow music’s still very much in the picture. I just don’t know how it’s going to fit in with my life yet.
I do have a new song that I’d really love to record. It’s constantly playing in my head and giving me goose bumps. It’s called “Empty Hands.”
As a writer, that’s when you know you’ve written a cool song that will connect with people.
I’ll keep you posted.