Are Soulmates and Twin Flames Real Love?


I got the idea for this article from a post I saw this morning on Instagram. It said that so many people are single and dreaming about finding someone special. And many people that are in committed relationships aren’t in love with each other.


It instantly sparked the concept behind this post. 


Warning: This is not your typical article/information download on soulmates or twin flames that you can "snack" on. It's not a list of signals to look for that will guarantee that this person is your twin flame or soulmate. I don't want to add to the already excessive amount of those articles on the internet. But if you are open to expanding your consciousness and have a courageous heart, please read on.


Are You Dreaming About A Soulmate or Twin Flame?


Are you dreaming about finally finding real love by meeting your twin flame or soulmate? Or perhaps you think you've already met them but aren't sure. Many people that call me for tarot readings fit this description. That experience plus my perspective based on decades of spiritual practice — which includes many years of being in a loving, committed relationship — have given me the insights to back up the perspective I’m going to share in this article.


Dreaming about a soulmate or twin flame takes place in your imagination. This person meets all your criteria and even stimulates the release of certain stimulating hormones. You’re stoned in love!


When you imagine your soulmate or twin flame, they are perfect in every way. They never let you down or disagree with you. They are an angel from heaven. They also satisfy your every erotic desire. You see yourself riding off into the sunset together and living happily ever after…



The Reality of Most Committed Relationships. Is This Real Love?


Most relationships start off as romantic and full of high expectations and hormones. Once the initial euphoria wears off and the day to day reality sets in of sharing the bathroom, the bills, the chores and the many challenges, many conflicts that weren’t obvious in the beginning become obvious.


You want to do something this way, but they want to do it that way. You smile at them but they are in a bad mood because of something that happened earlier in the day. You’re tired. You’re hungry. They don’t like some people in your family. You both start to keep lists (very destructive to relationships!).


If you don’t work on yourself — in other words, let go of these resistances as they come up, they will start to erode and chip away at any of the love that was once between you.



A Spiritually Aligned Soulmate or Twin Flame Relationship


True soulmate and twin flame relationships -- where there is real love thriving between partners -- are not a given. They take extreme dedication. I’m not going to get into the esoteric or metaphysical explanations here. I’m simply going to describe everything in human terms and as something that can actually be experienced. No theory such as what are the differences between the various labels is necessary for this article.


What do labels have to do with actual love? I'm not saying that the labels aren't true in a relative sense. I'm saying if you've been overly focused on them you're missing the point. The point is to love. To be loving. Even when it's challenging.



Asking if someone is your twin flame is probably not the best question if you get a reading with me or anyone else. I have compassion for your wanting to know. But that kind of question can keep you in your head. You'll be missing vital signals being sent to you from your heart. 

A better way to format a question might be as follows:

"The issue is love. What do I need to understand about love?" Or, "the issue is my feelings about (person's name). What do I need to understand in order to proceed in the best way?"

However, Love is what you are. You have this unlimited support within you. You don’t have to believe me on that. Belief or intellectual understanding is a good place to start, but ultimately isn't enough to sustain you. 


If you can, keep an open mind to this at least as a possibility. Then proceed to observe yourself as you interact in relationship with others. See what you find out.


Are you happier when you naturally and spontaneously love your partner? Or are you happier when the other person is giving approval or love to you? Check this out for yourself in your own life.


I think you'll find that when you are giving love (without wanting anything in return) is when you are happiest. It's nice when our partner is giving us love -- but this isn't as satisfying when we are freely giving. Ultimately we come to realize that giving and receiving are the same thing.


Most Human Love Relationships Are Simply Neediness and Clinging


This sounds harsh and cynical, I know. But it’s not. Read on to find out why. 

Note: I'm a romantic by nature. I've believed in soulmates my entire adult life. Before I'd ever heard about twin flames, I knew that there was someone who was woven into the fabric of my destiny long before I ever met her. And I even wrote songs for her and dedicated a CD to her.


Many relationships that remain “committed” do so only out of neediness. Each partner is staying because of safety and what they can GET out of the relationship. Another words, it's an obligation. 


Like a job you don't really like, the relationship has become a means to an end.


It's not necessary to live like this! In my experience, it’s absolutely possible to BRING love to the relationship.


There are many spiritual practices and tools that can help us achieve a more open and clear connection to the Love that we already are. But the key to it all remains: are you going to use them when your separate self is screaming at the top of its lungs?


When we are connected to this Love — the real Love — the Love that needs no-body or no-thing to fulfill Itself, we are able to dissolve small hurts or resentments as they arise. This way they don’t build up into something that destroys the relationship. 


The balance between the personal and Universal is beginning to heal (our usual perception is extremely narrow, limited and skewed 100% to the personal).


We are then more able to love our partner as they are. Warts and all. The more we come from this place the stronger the connection and awareness gets. In other words, the more conscious our love becomes.


Because we are all connected at a deeper level, our partner can feel this loving acceptance. This allows them to drop their defensiveness and they also become more pleasant to be around.


This does NOT mean they will behave in the ways you prefer all the time! However, they will seem to be more willing to listen to your ideas and compromise with you. They will also surprise you in wonderful ways when you least expect it. And you both will be able to forgive quickly and move past any conflicts that will inevitably arise.


As a result, you will feel tangible vibrations of joy and bliss emanating from your heart chakra (centre of your chest) and radiating outwards on a regular basis.


If you practice loving and accepting the “apparent other” because they are the way they are and things still don’t change in your relationship, then this person will probably leave your life at some point. Either you or they will decide to leave simply because the energy is so mismatched. This is the point that many have reached when they decide to call me for a tarot reading.


Of course I can only give them an accurate map of the territory and explain what the consequences of certain choices might be. The rest is up to them. It’s their life after all. But at least they have much more clarity and insight about what was previously confusing them. They are empowered to make much better choices.


And if you’re fortunate enough to be in a spiritually aligned relationship in which both partners are not only committed to each other, but committed to using the relationship as a method by which to accelerate growth and Love, then it doesn’t matter what words you use to label it.


You can choose to call yourselves Soulmates or Twin Flames if you wish. 


Or you can simply be with each other in the silent field of the Now and allow the Love to envelope you and unite you in It’s embrace.







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