Unleash Your Potential by Letting Go of Resentment: 3 Steps

collage images of leaves on tree in autumn, with open human hands, sun and clouds

Resentment feels good. It feels good because you get to make yourself right. Nay, you get to feel righteous in your resentment. 

 

I mean no offense to anyone who has suffered and been a true victim of some wrong or evil. 

 

But my thesis here is that resentment greatly limits your potential for manifesting and experiencing a more fulfilling life. 

 

Iโ€™m going to explain how letting go of resentment greatly increases your ability to manifest more good stuff in your life. 

 

But Iโ€™m not going to leave you hanging like that. Because youโ€™ll need to know how to let go of resentment. So, Iโ€™m going to share 3 powerful steps that will help you to let it go! 

 

The Truth Will Set Us Free 

 

Some people might feel upset with what Iโ€™m about to say in this article. But itโ€™s the truth and the although the truth can hurt, it sets us free.  

 

Iโ€™m not here to judge whether any resentment you have is justified or not. 

 

Letโ€™s allow God (Higher Power, The Universe, Presence, Higher Self, etc.) to be the judge of that. 

 

Note: Iโ€™m thinking about writing an article on the word โ€œGodโ€ so that I donโ€™t have to continue writing so many synonyms that may be more palatable for some. Itโ€™s nice to just use one word-pointer that people can agree upon. As long as you know itโ€™s not some muscular guy with white hair and beard in the sky, weโ€™re good to go ๐Ÿ˜Š 

 

 

Itโ€™s All About Freedom 

 

Iโ€™m here to help you to set yourself free. Itโ€™s important to understand that letting go of resentment is not a moral imperative; itโ€™s simply a practical and effective way to make your life better. 

 

Letโ€™s unpack why itโ€™s practical along with some of the surprising benefits youโ€™ll receive. 

 

Why You Should Let Go of Resentment 

 

Resentment ties you up in knots. It literally gums up your circulation. And circulation isnโ€™t just your blood flow or blood pressure, but everything in your affairs. Money, work, relationships, communication and more. 

 

It saps your energy. This means it inhibits your ability to create - or as people like to say these days, manifest. 

 

So, realize that holding on to resentment directly impacts the quality of life youโ€™re able to build for yourself.  

 

If you can get a sense of the truth of this, it should provide you with enough motivation to want to let your resentment go. 

 

If youโ€™re not getting the results you want with manifesting, I can almost guarantee itโ€™s because youโ€™re holding on to resentment. 

 

Remember, youโ€™re letting it go because you want to unleash more of your potential! You want to be thinner, happier, stronger, more attractive, more prosperous...whatever it is, releasing resentment will unleash tremendous amounts of energy into your life. 

 

And that will support you in creating more of what you want because youโ€™ll be bringing more of who you are and what you have to offer to everything in your life. 

The 8 of Swords tarot card in a Rider Waite Smith style

The 8 of Swords in tarot is the perfect illustration of what we do to ourselves when we hold on to resentment. Notice that if she chose to, she could free herself and walk away?

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Step One: How To Let Go of Resentment      

 

Step one is to simply realize that resentment is holding you back from creating the kind of life you really want. Or, at least creating more joy and abundance in life. 

 

If youโ€™re able to see that resentment is holding you back in life in some way, youโ€™ve got step one covered. 

 

Thatโ€™s what will put your desire the other way around. Instead of using desire to defend yourself by holding on, youโ€™ll be motivated with the desire to let it go!  

 

Youโ€™ll see that any โ€œbenefitโ€ to holding on to resentment is an illusion. Itโ€™s only holding on to needing to be right which is based upon your egoโ€™s fragility. 

 

More Downsides of Holding on to Resentment 

 

Even in conventional medicine these days the influence of negative feelings on illness is being appreciated more and more. 

 

And in successful 12 Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, resentment (along with genetic predisposition) has long been understood to be one of the underlying causes of addiction. 

 

This first step of realizing that resentment is only holding you back is so important. Itโ€™s really the secret key to unravelling it all. 

 

Again, when you realize this, that is what will motivate you to channel the fire of your desire toward letting go of any lingering resentment.  

 

Who, at heart, really wants to hold themselves back from greater happiness in Life? 

 

Before we go any further, we need to discuss why should you believe that holding on to resentment holds you back. 

 

 Especially when thereโ€™s such temptation and seeming reward (you get to be right) from holding on? 

 

Iโ€™ll explain. 

 

Why Holding on to Resentment Holds You Back 

 

Holding on to resentment holds you back because when you resent someone or something, you actually feel guilty. 

 

Unless youโ€™re very aware, this guilt will be operating behind the scenes in your life. 

 

Resentment and guilt are like your left and right hand. They work together as a team. 

 

You judge the person or situation to be guilty for your mistreatment, but you end up subconsciously judging yourself for holding them accountable. 

 

This is not some kind of clever psychology. 

 

These are laws of how the Universe works. Without these โ€œlaws,โ€ there would be chaos and no order. Entropy would rule all the time and order would not emerge. 

 

It's In The Bible & Other Sacred Texts


In the bible, which is actually a sacred-occult text of metaphor and poetic meaning, Jesus says โ€œyou hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see more clearly to remove the speck from your brotherโ€™s eye.โ€ 

 

This doesnโ€™t mean we should never judge or use discernment. That would be ridiculous! We need to judge throughout the day, all the time. How much salt to add to food, what to say in an email, how much to pay for an item, etc. 

 

What Jesus said, is referring to this law of resentment and guilt. When you resent someone or something, you are trying to make yourself spiritually superior โ€“ and therefore separate - to them. 

 

Youโ€™re breaking the fundamental law of The Universe (One Song) which is Unity. Weโ€™re all connected as expressions of The Infinite Is-ness. 


 


 


Other Quotes To Inspire You With Letting Go of Resentment:

  • "The goods of God, which are beyond all measure, can only be contained in an empty and solitary heart. - St. John of the Cross
  • "When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found." Sufi aphorism
  • "To know that you are a prisoner of your own mind, is the dawn of wisdom." - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
  • "If you try to change it, you will ruin it. Try to hold it, and you will lose it." - Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
  • "Nobody can bring you peace but yourself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • "Our capacity to make peace with another person and with the world, depends very much on our capacity to make peace with ourselves."



Step 2: How To Let Go of Resentment 

   

Step 2 is to put a bit of time aside where you can be alone to reflect and contemplate. 

 

Get quiet and put the think about any resentment you may be holding on to. 

 

Before we go further, Step 1 is key here, because without having the passion and desire to let go of resentment, youโ€™ll stay in denial. 

 

Youโ€™ll resist making a few minutes to look at whatโ€™s going on inside yourself and find an excuse not to bother. 

 

Youโ€™ll believe your own story that you either donโ€™t have any resentment (congratulations! Youโ€™re a legit Saint and you donโ€™t need this article), or that any resentment you do have is justified. 

 

Do you have step 1 covered? Do you seriously really want to let go of resentment? 

 

Step 2 is also important, because the more you do it, the more youโ€™ll experience the benefits in your life. Youโ€™ll be proving it for yourself. 

 

Ok. On to step 2 again. 

 

"Our capacity to make peace with another person and with the world depends very much on our capacity to make peace with ourselves." -Thich Nhat Hanh

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Getting Quiet  

 

When you get quiet and relaxed and allow your mind to travel along any timelines of your life, anyone you have resentment toward will automatically come to mind. 

 

For many of you reading this, there will probably be a handful of people who you are really stuck with. 

 

Each of those people might take a dedicated session of this. But remember the benefits. 

 

As you focus gently on the memory of what happened with this person, keep part of your focus on your breath or the feeling of your body.  

 

You donโ€™t want to get pulled back in to the story again. You want to feel it, but also witness it from a larger lens or โ€œhigherโ€ perspective. 

 

Keep breathing and do your best to continue scanning your body for any unnecessary tension. 

 

You want to be able to look clearly at this as best you can. If youโ€™re not ready, or thereโ€™s too much trauma involved, you may want to wait until you can have a qualified professional healer or counsellor to support you. 

 

Transcending the Past 

 

But for most people reading this, youโ€™re reading it because you feel ready to move past any resentment. Youโ€™re ready to transcend it. 

 

Looking at this story and memory and allowing things to surface, can you see that thereโ€™s a desire to change things that happened in the past? 

 

Because thatโ€™s whatโ€™s holding the resentment in place. An unconscious desire to change things from the past.  

 

Itโ€™s an unconscious belief that by holding on, it can actually change things from the past.  

 

As soon as you can see this mechanism operating in your mind, youโ€™ll spontaneously let go of the resentment. 

 

Ready for Step 3? 

 

Step 3 is to realize that thereโ€™s more work ahead. There are many layers of resentment lying dormant in your subconscious mind. 

 

If the same person comes into your mind again as the days go by, youโ€™ll probably notice that thereโ€™s less of an emotional charge than the first time. 

 

So, this time, simply allow the thoughts and feelings around this person to flow through your awareness. Bless them and set them free. 

 

Any time they come to mind, you can do this; but donโ€™t go looking for them to come to mind. 

 

And with anyone else who feels sticky with emotional charge, you can do the same process of getting quiet and looking to see whatโ€™s really going on. 

 

Remember, youโ€™re unconsciously believing that by holding on to the resentment, youโ€™re going to somehow change what happened in the past. 

 

Donโ€™t force yourself to see this or believe it. You have to see it for yourself.  

 

But, if you get quiet and look with a relaxed and alert attention, youโ€™ll see it. 

 

So, step 3 is to continue letting go of resentment.  

 

That should be easy now that you understand steps 1 and 2. 

 

The more you let it go, the faster it will happen. Instead of thin layers, youโ€™ll be dissolving chunks of it. 

 

How Do You Know Itโ€™s Working? 

 

You know itโ€™s working because youโ€™ll notice youโ€™re feeling better and more energetic overall. 

 

Youโ€™ll be more relaxed mentally and less tense overall. Because of this, your relationships will improve and this will positively impact every area of your life. 

The Mayo Clinic says these are some benefits from letting go of resentment:  

  • lower blood pressure 

  • stronger immune system 

  • improved heart health 

  • improved self-esteem 

 

Working on resentment is one of the ways I work with people in my 1:1 Let Go sessions. 

 

If youโ€™re having difficulty with this on your own, working with someone like me can help a great deal. 

 

Why Is Resentment So Hard to Let Go Of? 

 

Resentment can be so hard to let go of, because we unconsciously identify with it. 

 

This means that you believe you are the resentment. 

 

But if you look at any resentment youโ€™re feeling, thatโ€™s exactly what it is! A thought and feeling bundled up together. 

 

Itโ€™s not who you are.  

 

You were you before that situation happened, right?  

 

And there have been many times where you didnโ€™t have any feelings of resentment about that person or situation, correct? And you were still you, right? 

 

So, you are not that feeling of resentment. 

 

But our ego (aka false self) that is formed out of our background and learning experiences in the past, is not the real you. 

 

Itโ€™s a thought-based entity made up of unexamined beliefs, memories and unquestioned assumptions about life. 

 

The ego identifies with negativity more often than anything! Thatโ€™s because true positive states such as courage and love are not feelings that come and go. 


Courage and Love Come from Beyond Thought

 

Courage and love come from beyond thought. Thought is limited. Courage and love are unlimited. 

 

The point here is that ego unconsciously identifies with resentment. By unconsciously, I donโ€™t mean literally being unconscious.  

 

I mean without being aware of the activity of our mind. 

 

The Egoโ€™s Fear of Letting Go of Resentment 

 

The ego is terrified of letting go of resentment because it thinks if it does, it will die! 

 

And yes, big chunks of unnecessary egoic layers will โ€œdie.โ€ But YOU will not.  

 

In fact, more of the real you will shine through. 

 

You Canโ€™t Live Without Ego 

 

That said, you canโ€™t live without ego. Ego is necessary to our ability to function in this time-space world. 

 

What happens is, that you still have ego, but it is no longer the captain of the ship. At least not as frequently or and for shorter and shorter periods of time. 

 

Itโ€™s still there, but as I like to say, now itโ€™s riding shotgun.  Just enough to know your name, rank and serial number and to conduct the business of life in the world. 

 

The more you practice observing the activity of your mind made sense of self (ego), the less power it has to run your life in unwanted and un-intelligent ways. 

 

And the more you channel your desire force into letting go of any resentment you may be holding on to, the more โ€œtransparentโ€ your ego will become. 

 

Letting Go of Resentment Takeaways 

 

  • holding on to resentment restricts your energy flow in all areas of life 

  • realizing this fact gives you the 1st step of channeling your desire force into wanting to let it go 

  • the 2nd step is to use that desire to look directly at the activity of how it works. See for yourself how itโ€™s an unconscious desire to change what was 

  • when you truly see this for yourself, any resentment will let go naturally and effortlessly 

  • the 3rd step is to develop the habit of noticing any resentment your body-mind are holding on to and to continue the practice of applying step 2. 

  • develop a general habit of self-reflection and observation with the willingness to see whatโ€™s really there. Specifically, this means the ego and all of its games. 

  • Letting go of resentment will unleash your potential in many ways! Health, happiness, relationships, creativity, self-esteem and more. 

 

Important Points to Remember


Remember that itโ€™s important not to force yourself into some ideal! If youโ€™re not ready to forgive and let go of resentment, donโ€™t pretend that you are. 

 

Being honest with yourself will bring you closer to release much more quickly than pretending to yourself.  

 

Practice being willing to forgive. But let the Presence within you do the rest.  

 

I hope you found this article helpful on your journey toward more peace, harmony and abundance in your life. 

 

Check out my Let Go service to learn more about how to let go of resentment and any other negative feelings or limiting beliefs. In your sessions with me, I not only give you the experience of freedom now, I empower you to do it for yourself. 

 

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