The Dark Side of Twin Flames

There are a lot of words in “spiritual culture” these days that I don’t completely resonate with. I think they began with a positive intention, but they can cause a lot of unecessary confusion and suffering with people.

As an intuitive reader, I get asked certain questions a lot. Questions such as “is this person my twin flame? Or are they my karmic flame? etc.”

I’m not disagreeing and saying that there aren’t are certain kinds relationships that are expressed differently. I’m not saying that certain people aren’t drawn to each other in a way that the mind cannot possibly understand. A sort of pre-destined Destiny. Or certain lessons to be learned. This certainly seems to be true in my own experience. And I do of course, have a romantic sensibility that the concept of soulmates has always appealed to.

But when we put a relationship in a box with a label, we stifle whatever it is. Relationships — no matter whether lover and partner, parent, child, friend, co-worker or a cashier at a shop — are all based on Love.

If we get overly attached to the idea of a person being our “twin flame” it’s a subtle form of trying to control and manipulate the relationship. Is that Love?

Sidenote: Our ability to grant the other the right to be themselves is based on our ability to accept and love ourselves as we are. This will be a topic for a new article.

If that person truly is part of your Destiny and Lifepath in an intense, beautiful, healthy and mutually supportive way, that will unfold much better if you actually act from Love and allow it to be what it wants to be.

For example, I love Mary more than words could ever describe. And I know there’s a certain relative truth to us being “eternal soulmates/twin flames” or “divine masculine/divine feminine” — but I also know that those are only words. Words and concepts can only ever point. They are never the real.

What we have, I FEEL and EXPERIENCE within myself and within the day to day rhythms of our life together. Words or labels cannot possibly ever encompass the incredible sacredness and gratitude that I feel for Mary’s presence in my life.

I simply do my best to bring Love to our relationship. And sometimes when wounded parts of myself get triggered, I still do that. It’s hard work, but that’s when I look at myself until I turn whatever is inside me that is not love into love. I use a combination of pure awareness as well as powerful techniques of letting go.

The problems begin when people get overly attached to these labels and they insist that a certain person is a twin flame. Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t. You want me as a reader to provide some sort of guarantee to you. Life is not carved in stone, but…

I get it! I have compassion for that. It’s scary and we have to be vulnerable to open up to someone and then commit to going through the places we’ve been hurt together. We also have to be courageous enough to face the possibility of rejection.

All I’m trying to say is Love is a complete surrender. You just have to let it all out. You have to be prepared to accept what comes whether it comes or not. There are no guarantees.

It’s ok and healthy if you simply want some reassurance about proceeding with a certain person or not. But life is on a “need to know” basis. That’s how it was designed to be.

Most of the time, even the best readers or astrologers can only give you a “weather report” of the current energies. It’s up to us to co-create from the unknown. Yes, it’s scary at times. But that’s why we’re here.

Even if I were to get a message that the person was your Destiny, you’d STILL have to go through the courage of opening up your heart. And loving them even when their behaviour touches on a wound. You’d still have to actually BE in a relationship.

This can be another time you may need a reader. To help you discern if someone’s behaviour crossed a line and you are in a toxic relationship of some kind. But even in healthy relationships that are very happy, wounds sometimes get exposed. And that’s when the rubber hits the road.

If you feel you must use the labels above to describe certain types of dynamics that may exist in relationships, that’s fine. It can be helpful to a point. Maybe you and a certain someone DO have a destiny together. But if that’s so, why can’t you simply let go and trust a bit more? It’s because of the wounds within yourself. And that’s ok — we all have them. So for now, love yourself as best you can and just be aware that all labels — not matter how exotic and spiritual — are still mind stuff. And the mind cannot love or know Truth. It’s as simple as that.

Our minds note the differences with another, but only our hearts recognize the Love that is the Essential One Beingness in all.

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