There are a lot of websites you could be visiting right now — or Youtube cat videos to watch for that matter. So why spend your valuable time here instead of where distraction, hype and funny memes beckon?
There are 3 solid reasons to be here. I have found these 3 “understandings” are what has truly made the difference in my success with spiritual growth and personal transformation.
Here is the "elevator pitch" version of my mission with this work for those of you in a hurry: empower people for more peace, love and creativity to enter their lives and relationships.
The full scoop is below. It's about a 9 minute read.
1. Transformation and Real Lasting Change IS Possible.
And it’s not only some elite “special” few who can have it. In the massive marketplace of spiritual growth and self-help there is a LOT of hype. Even celebrities are jumping in on it. In one way this is a good thing because it shows that more people are spiritually awakening these days. (Just to be clear, this has nothing to do with political views!)
Even the saying “be in the moment” has lost almost all meaning because it’s become so repetitive and mechanical.
We see an almost infinite amount of content — including videos, books and memes — that all promise a shortcut to finding bliss and lasting peace.
Maybe you believe you need to travel to India and sit with a famous guru or get a PhD in psychology or religion. I used to think that at one time.
Perhaps you’ve read dozens of books, attended several seminars and even made some lifestyle changes…but you still feel as if something is missing. You’re still seeking. Maybe the next book. The next course. The next guru…
Why even bother with transformation and change if it’s such hard work? Why bother if you can just continue reading book after book and attending seminar after seminar? And if things get too heavy you can always find other ways to escape…
You get what I’m trying to say. It’s not to say there’s anything wrong with these approaches. It can be useful or helpful to read certain books or attend some seminars. Or even sit at the feet of someone for a while.
But real change and transformation doesn’t require any of these things. In fact, it only requires ONE thing.
What is that one thing? Your willingness to change. You have to really want to change. You must be either sincerely fed up — or really and truly inspired to change — or both.
This is the foundation of all transformation.
A Few Signs That You're Changing
Forget About Spiritual "Enlightenment"
One of the problems I have with the whole “enlightenment” ideal is that it often stops people from actually accessing deeper and wiser dimensions of themselves.
This traditional concept comes from the idea that you must be a “special” being who has completed all his or her karma and is now ready to be a Buddha or fully enlightened being.
I’m not here to debate whether or not this idea is actually true or not.
These ideas come from monism or non-duality which is attempting to express the truth that you are essentially being what you are already -- pure Beingness. From this absolute perspective, there is no-one here to even be enlightened which is ultimately true yet paradoxically not the entire truth.
However, many people get caught in an intellectual trap with this and either develop an aversion to the world or simply don't do any work on themselves (because there's no-one who can do the work -- which is ultimately true. But...)We are still here in this human -- albeit transient -- form for now.
In my experience, the real truth is a synthesis of the absolute and relative. Although the absolute ultimately trumps the relative of course.
I was stuck for a couple of years trying to resolve this issue of the relative and absolute within myself until it was finally resolved. I won't go into it anymore here, because the understanding only came when thought wasn't there. That's the paradox.
The mind can never touch the Infinite but it CAN be informed from the Infinite. At a certain point we simply have to let go and take a leap of faith.
The danger here is postponing your real spiritual growth until you reach “enlightenment” or some ideal of “perfection.” If you really look at it, the whole idea of enlightenment is a mind made concept. It’s always off in the imaginary future. It involves time. And time is always running out…
I know that I exist. That is the ground from which we all must work.
You probably think that if you were enlightened you could basically walk on water. Or your feathers would never get ruffled by things that happen in your life.
You’re never going to walk on water. You’re never going to be “perfect.”
But you CAN be more human. More loving. More understanding of others. Less rigid. Less reactive. More creative. More adaptable and flexible. Lighter. Happier.
You see, this idea we have in our heads about spiritual enlightenment is a limited idea. But real life is dynamic and infinite. Not to mention our feelings cover a range in any given day.
One a certain day something happens that we don’t like and we brush it off easily — because we’ve got a full belly, have had a good night’s rest and we’re having a good hair day.
On a different day, the same thing happens and it really “sticks to the bottoms of our shoes.” We didn’t have time to style our hair, we skipped lunch and didn’t sleep well the night before.
This is why some teachers call spiritual work a “practice.” It’s like anything. Use it or lose it. You will never get to a “static” and final idea of Perfection — but we start to notice tangible improvements large and small. We get more consistent in our ability to say “no” to negative feelings when they want to take us over.
Your feathers will probably be ruffled far less frequently. And as this happens more and more, you’ll see many miracles both small and large play out in your experience.
You may even reach a point where you decide to make a stand for happiness once and for all…
2. Happiness Is A Choice
When you get right down to it, happiness is a choice. By happiness I don’t mean the happiness that comes and goes because you got a new “toy” or found some extra money.
By "happiness" I mean no longer harrassing yourself with negative thoughts and feelings. Knowing that you have the power to ignore them.
Right now, you believe in most of the negative feelings that appear. No-one has ever told you in plain language that feelings are not the truth.
When you have a feeling, you believe that if you express it you’ll feel better. Anger tells you to let it out on someone or something in order to feel happier. Fear tells you to worry because that will somehow magically control things that you cannot control — and then you’ll feel happier.
Obviously being happier doesn’t work this way. But we keep doing it over and over and over again!
Do you really want to live the rest of your life at the mercy of these negative feelings? Do you really want to continue being so hypersensitive to every remark made by a stranger in haste?
Do you want to live even one more day where you always find a way to believe that someone or something is against you? Even if it’s just the way that they parked their car?
When you really make a stand to not react to these automatic feelings, your natural happiness begins to shine through more and more.
Listen, there are a lot of “get-rich-quick” schemes out there. If you can manipulate external objects and situations in just the right way, presto —you’ll be happy!
But if you’ve been around on this planet for any length of time at all, you’ll realize that you have very little control over these externals. Especially when other people are involved.
The other thing we’re told is that if we can just visualize something, it will happen. Now there is a lot of truth to this. I’ve had this experience many times. But again, whether it will happen or not is not under our conscious control. You can’t MAKE it happen.
When “spontaneous manifestation” does happen, it’s most often when you aren’t trying to GET happiness from anyone or anything. You’re simply feeling at ease and full of love in the moment.
At least in my experience, we most often need to take consistent and focused action toward our dreams and goals. But this action is what makes our internal blocks and conflicts more obvious — because they get stirred up when we take action.
This is great because we can then choose to let go of believing in them anymore. Without taking action, they’re still beneath the surface where we cannot see them.
3. Your Past Does Not Define You
How many times has your head hit the pillow at the end of a long day only to have your mind replay an incident from years ago?
The regret floods your body and your mind begins to spin even more.
“If only I’d have said this or that” or “I should’ve said that” or “I should’ve done that instead” or “my parents screwed me up” or “I’ll never love again because of her/him” etc.
This is not to deny that our past has not had an impact or shaped who we now are.
But when we hold on to wanting to change the past, we stay stuck.
Only when we let go of wanting to change it can we be free of it. And the thing is, you only have to do this NOW.
As soon as you decide to let go of wanting to change the past, you do it.
As soon as you decide to let go of wanting to change the past, you do it.
What If The Past Comes Up Again?
Oh…it probably will! But now you’ve had the direct experience of letting go of wanting to change it. You know that you can do it again. All you have to do is make that choice.
Each time you do this, you’ll be weakening your tendency to resist your past.
Imagine how much energy could be unleashed into your life from dropping that resistance!
Here’s the thing: None of this work is intellectual. I do write some blog posts that explain the theory behind things — and I even get into some “woo” -- for those minds that want to understand. But the work I do with you is always practical and direct.
You can read all the theory you want. Some people are even very good at explaining spirituality, non-duality, or “energy” in words. But this is not the thing itself.
Only YOU can know if you know. Only you can decide to do the work. Only you can decide that you want to be free.
You can’t let go of the past with your mental understanding simply because your mind IS the past.
You need to be willing to look. You need to be passionate about changing.
You can’t let go of the past with your mental understanding simply because your mind IS the past.You need to be willing to look. You need to be passionate about changing.
Don't Believe Me!
That’s right. I don’t want you to believe me. I want you to try the tools and perspectives I share for yourself. When it comes to inner transformation and discovering spiritual Truth, you need to find out for yourself.
Even the most spiritually enlightened teacher cannot do it for you. They can support you. They can serve as a model for you. You will see that at the very least, it’s a possibility. They can point the way. But you still need to take the steps yourself.
Willingness: You have to want freedom more than you want anything else. Unfortunately, this willingness is usually a result of being fed up with self-inflicted suffering. But once you start, you’ll keep going because it feels so good!
Doing The Work: You actually need to work at it. There are no shortcuts. No “hacks.” Eventually it becomes a 24/7 way of being.
Letting Go of the Past: On an unconscious (unexamined) level you believe that by resisting what was, you can still change it. Let this futile desire go!
Bonus Factor. The "Tech" or Tools
Without simple but powerful techniques that actually cut through the mind’s noise, you won’t be able to generate you own insights and understanding.
Because of the spiritual growth market being flooded with so much content, it can be hard to know which way to turn. Beware of false gurus and those who are just regurgitating “spiritual information.” But because of the “pull of the world” and the strength of our habits and tendencies, we need all the helpful support tools we can get!
The tools I use with students are exactly the same ones that have had the most impact upon my own transformations and realizations.
What I DON’T do is “reprogram” my mind. Truth, Wisdom, Love and Courage are already there when you see through the limitations of the mind.
What I share here is more about dissolving the layers of conditioning that cover over the innate Wise Being that you already are.
I do lean mostly toward “non-dual” perspectives. Don’t worry if you don’t know this term. It’s simply there is One Life. That Life is God (or Beingness, or whatever name works for you). We all have our existence within that One Beingness. Separation is an illusion — everything is connected in this Totality beyond time and mind.
But I also use “dualistic” perspectives in order to support understanding. I’ve found that they can often lead to deep insights — especially when combined with consistent “practice.”
The tools I use have come from both Eastern and Western sources. Some contemporary, some more ancient. I use techniques from The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin quite a bit, non-duality (along the lines of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle), Hermeticism (as above so below), Tarot (I do readings that help give you more clarity and insight — not fortune telling), Qabalah/Esoteric Christianity and Evolutionary Astrology.
Letting Go Can Be Your New Super Power.
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