Are you willing to let go? A lot of people these days are saying “let it go” or similar pieces of advice. This is great!
And while I’m grateful that more people are speaking about this fundamental skill, not a lot of people actually tell you how to do it.
I can’t promise you it’s always easy — because our minds want to maintain the illusion of being separate from the totality of Life — but I can promise you that it is entirely possible and requires no special abilities.
Sometimes a "putrefaction" or "cooking" process needs to occur before we're ready to let go. But we still need to do the cooking and do our best to remain alert in the meantime.
Let's dive in and see how letting go works.
How Do You Let Go?
A cursory look will tell you that you are a separate individual. I’m here, in my body, everybody and everything else is outside.
On a relative level, this is true.
But if we're willing to look a little deeper, we'll discover that this is not actually true. It's an unquestioned assumption.
Even on a basic level of the services you require such as groceries, doctors, clean water - you are connected to other people.
And consider this: if we were truly separate, how would we even be able to perceive each other?
"We have an intuitive perception in a field of unitary wholeness."
-Immanuel Kant
Who Or What Are You?
If you’ve ever tried to meditate, you’ll know that your thoughts try to steal your attention. But you’ll also realize that there are your thoughts - and there is the one who is watching them.
You can even try this with your body. We already know from science that it’s a vibrating field of energy and mostly empty space.
But let’s discover this for ourselves! We don’t want to always rely on 2nd hand information.
Take a breath and relax your shoulders on the exhale. Place your attention within. How do you know your body is there?
You can see it. You can feel the sensations of it. You can hear some sounds it makes.
Just like your thoughts, there are the sounds, images and sensations of your body - but then there is the watcher who is observing them.
It's A Conundrum, I Dare Say!
The circular conundrum with this is that your body is experienced with the very senses that are instruments of your body.
If your body was the total you, how would you be able to observe it?
This isn’t a scientific debate. I’m just asking you to keep open to this as a possibility for now.
Once you steal even a glimpse of what you truly are — unlimited Beingness pretending to be limited — you're on your way!
We Need All The Help We Can Get...
Even after a spiritual awakening, there are many conditioned patterns in place that will soon create doubt about your experience.
It's so easy to succumb to the games of the mind again! You might even write your experience off as unimportant or an illusion of the brain and nervous system.
You forget the deep insights you had. That’s because those insights were from beyond the mind.
This is where letting go comes in as a serious practice.
Letting Go Of What You "Know" - The Past
Every time you let something go, you are dissolving a layer of egoic consciousness. There are many many layers of this conditioned consciousness — much of it buried in the “subconscious.”
The less egoic consciousness you have, the more Light of your true Beingness can shine through and illuminate your world.
Egoic consciousness is the “dark stuff” that can come over you when you least expect it. Something someone says or doesn’t say, something that happens or doesn’t happen, triggers it.
In other words, expectations weren’t met.
note: We need ego to engage with the world around us - it's not about eliminating it completely. It's about no longer letting this mechanized "self" run the show.
Expectations Are A Lack Of Innocence
However, times when you are triggered, as painful as they may be, are also golden opportunities to let go. Your mind will be telling you otherwise, of course.
Your mind will be projecting it’s problems onto the person or situation as being the cause (and painting you as a victim.)
It will be very seductive in trying to get you to buy in to this storyline. This will feed the cycle of pain you are feeling even more.
BUT, if you are fortunate enough to have come across the fundamental life skill of letting go, you will be able to make a choice.
Letting Go Is A Choice
You will have to choose between negativity/limitation and freedom/Love. It’s THAT simple.
Would you rather be “right” with your limited feelings or would you rather be free?
Think about how many of your relationships have been damaged by arguments. We all have our ideas and opinions - this is fine. But when we believe they are who we are, we need to defend ourselves and be right.
We're not open to see things more clearly - even if we are right.
If you’ve never consciously let go before, you may believe that you don’t have a choice.
But if you're truly fed up with the repetitive and reactive patterns in your life, you'll be motivated to choose freedom and let go.
Attachment To Outcomes...
I used to identify as a musician. For many years I made a living in various ways as a musician. I put a lot of pressure on myself.
note: I still love making music - but I don't identify myself with it.
I’ve faced more than my fair share of disappointment. I’ve experienced rejection or flat out being ignored when I’ve poured my heart, soul and skills into a project or idea.
This disappointment wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t so attached to the outcome.
Having no expectations, the mind is fresh and creative.
Having no expectations in this case is NOT the same as settling.
Desire And Non-Attachment At The Same Time?
Yes! It's a blend of desire and clear intention - and then leaving the results to themselves.
This takes discipline and practice.
When I used to put my music "out there" and the results I was hoping for didn’t happen, I reacted and felt discouraged.
This not only zapped my energy, but also prevented me from seeing clearly how I could be more effective in reaching my goals.
By the time I realized this, my values in life had changed.
Approval And Validation
This need for approval and validation can be a bottomless pit if we lack the awareness and tools to help us.
When we see how we’ve been looking for happiness where it does not exist (in the world) instead of where it does exist (within), we can begin to make progress.
No tool for letting go will work if you’re not willing to let go...
The student asks the master, “what do I need to do in order to be enlightened?” The master takes the student to the lake and holds the student’s head under the water for a while. Finally he lets him back up and the student is gasping for air.
The master says “when you want freedom just as much as you wanted air right now, you’ll be well on your way to enlightenment!”
The is a dramatic example. We don’t need to be ascetics or abstain from the world. On the contrary, the world provides us with the challenges we need to grow.
However, the key is in really wanting to be free.
Are You Willing To Let Go?
Any tool you use to let go will only work as well as the strength of your desire to be free and your understanding that it’s a choice. In other words, are you willing to let go?