Are you willing to let go? A lot of people these days are saying “let it go” or similar pieces of advice. It’s brilliant! And while I’m happy that more people are getting hip to this fundamental skill, there are still many places and ways that we get stuck.
Many people wonder “ok, but HOW do I let go of (that hurtful and disappointing or even traumatic event)?
I can’t promise you it’s easy — because our minds want to maintain the illusion of being separate from the All — but I can promise you that it is entirely possible and requires no special abilities.
Ok, sounds good. I’m willing to let go, but…
How Do You Let Go?
While a cursory look may reveal that “you” are a separate being (“I’m” here, in my body, everybody and everything else is “outside”) if we are willing to look a little deeper, we may discover that it’s not true in any absolute sense.
Once you steal even a glimpse of what you truly are — unlimited Beingness pretending to be limited — you are on your way.
Easier said than done, though. There are many conditioned patterns in place that will soon depress the exhilaration you may have felt with this peak experience — when the mind temporarily subsided.
And then you succumb to the games of the mind again. You may write your experience off as unimportant or an illusion of the brain and nervous system.
You forget the deep insights you had. That’s because those insights were from beyond the mind. This is where letting go comes in as a serious practice.
Every time you let something go, you are dissolving a layer of egoic consciousness. There are many many layers of this conditioned consciousness — much of it buried in the “subconscious.”
The less egoic consciousness you have, the more Light of your true Beingness can shine through and illuminate your world.
Egoic consciousness is the “dark stuff” that can come over you when you least expect it. Something someone says or doesn’t say, something that happens or doesn’t happen, triggers it.
In other words, expectations weren’t met.
Expectations Are A Lack Of Innocence
However, times when you are triggered, as painful as they may be, are also golden opportunities to let go. Your mind will be telling you otherwise, of course.
Your mind will be projecting it’s problems onto the person or situation as being the cause (and painting you as a victim.)
It will be very seductive in trying to get you to buy in to this storyline. This will feed the cycle of pain you are feeling even more.
BUT, if you are fortunate enough to have come across the fundamental life skill of letting go, you will be able to make a choice.
Note: I’m not talking about serious trauma or working through grief after loss. However, if you’re still grieving long after the fact, you may want to consider that you’re stuck in a pattern. There are also some Yoga schools (such as YogaFit) that are currently having success working with people who have PTSD.
Letting Go Is A Choice
You will have to choose between negativity/limitation and freedom/Love. It’s THAT simple.
Would you rather be “right” and “vindicated” with your limited feelings or would you rather be free?
If you’ve never consciously let go before, you may believe that you don’t have a choice.
But if you are truly fed up with the repetitive and reactive, defensive patterns of your life in relationships, etc. you will perhaps see a glimmer of truth.
As a musician, I’ve faced more than my fair share of disappointment. I’ve experienced rejection or flat out being ignored when I’ve poured my heart, soul and skills into a project or idea.
This disappointment wouldn’t happen if I weren’t so attached to the outcome. Having expectations is a mechanical action.
Having no expectations, the mind is fresh and innocent.
Having no expectations is NOT another “should.” This is something you need to find out for yourself through your own life experiences.
If I put my creative work out there and the specific results I was hoping for don’t happen, I react and feel discouraged. Ok. Fine.
This need for approval and validation can be a bottomless pit if we lack the awareness and tools to help us!
But as soon as I become present and notice that I’m reacting, I start to observe the discouragement in action.
I see how I’ve been looking for happiness where it does not exist (in the world) instead of where it does exist (within me).
Some Powerful Tools To Help You Let Go
There are many powerful tools to let go. The one I love the best that works for me is called the Sedona Method.
Note: I’m not an affiliate with The Sedona Method (I won’t get any money if you click on the link and decide to purchase one of their programs) — just want to share this powerful tool for letting go with others who may resonate with it.
I’ve been using it daily since 2005, and I’m continually amazed at how it consistently helps me turn my mind around into a courageous and empowered state.
It’s a meditative tool of self inquiry that’s designed to turn the mind back around in the right direction. And it’s deceptively simple to use.
Typical Example: Are you feeling jealous comparing your life to someone else? The first step is to be present and realize that your mind has gotten turned around the wrong way!
Using a tool like the Sedona Method can help turn it back around quite quickly. You’ll actually be happy for that persons success! This is a great feeling of freedom. And you’ve dissolved a chunk of egoic consciousness while you’re at it — never again to return, I might add. Although there are layers upon layers upon layers…
Even recognizing when your mind is holding on is a major accomplishment in awareness. Presence and awareness comes with practice and the alchemy of self transformation.
There are some other tools-for-letting-go I’ve heard great things about. There’s one called “tapping” that I’ve never tried (I’ve already got a way that works for me) but it may work for you!
Many people have found success with A Course In Miracles.
And of course the breath is always a key tool whenever we feel anxious or upset.
No “Letting Go Tool” Will Work If…
No tool for letting go will work if you’re not willing to let go. It’s hard enough sometimes with sticky issues even when you’re willing!
There’s a parable from the East about this…
The student asks the master, “what do I need to do in order to be enlightened?” The master takes the student to the lake and holds the student’s head under the water for a while. Finally he lets him back up and the student is gasping for air.
The master says “when you want freedom just as much as you wanted air right now, you’ll be well on your way to enlightenment!”
The is a dramatic example. We don’t need to be ascetics or abstain from the world. On the contrary, the world provides us with the challenges we need to grow.
However, the key is in really wanting to be free. That’s really what this story is illustrating. Wanting freedom is always on your mind 24/7. Even in the midst of intense action engaging with the world. If you can do that, you will get lighter and discover more true happiness every day.
Are You Willing To Let Go?
1. Use a tool that works for you. Some examples of tools that can help:
A Course In Miracles
Mindfulness and Breath
Yoga And Meditation
The Work by Byron Katie
Tapping (emotional freedom technique)
Listening to or reading Master Teachers like Eckhart Tolle
2. The tool will only work as well as the strength of your desire to be free and your understanding that it’s a choice. In other words, are you willing to let go?